My friend Addy has always had a slight smell. She lives a bohemian lifestyle. As a result, she doesn’t always have a reliable place to do laundry or shower. She’s a fun person to hang out with, so I just accepted it as one her many quirks.
However, within the past eight weeks or so, the smell has become much worse. It’s an intense, musty odor that fills whatever small space we’re in and sticks to any cloth she comes into contact with. For example if Addy sat on my bed, I’ll have to strip the sheets to wash after she leaves, or the smell will stay in the room.
The last time she came over, my housemates complained that the smell drifted all the way downstairs from my room. Now that Addy’s problem is affecting the other people in my life, I have to acknowledge it.
Because the issue got worse within the past few months, it could be signs of a health issue (physical or mental.) I don’t know how I could ever bring up the smell with Addy herself. How can you broach a subject like that without utterly embarrassing the person?
So the asshole part: months ago, before the smell got worse, I invited Addy to a party I’m hosting. Now I’m concerned that her hygiene issues will impact the enjoyment of my other guests. Do I lie and tell her it’s cancelled/postponed and still hold it for my other friends? Or do I address the issue directly?