WIBTA My boyfriend’s girl bestie

r/

I have a boyfriend who I’m almost making 2 years with this December and who I live with.I’ve been uncomfortable with his friendship with his girl bestie but I still told him that they can remain friends.Now the reasons why I feel uncomfortable with them associating is because of their past tg.He went to the hotel with her when we was dating.He tells me they din’t do anything but I doubt it,and the hotel they went to was the one me and him always went to.Ive seen her send him pics of herself with lingerie or videos of her twerking.She has gone ghost but recently she came in contact with him and he told her about me.They both have been trying to meet up for a while.He told me how he wanted to step in as the baby daddy and file for the baby’s taxes.Today when I came back from my canceled job he was on the phone with her it was like 4 and he got off the phone when it was like 9 or 10.While they was on the phone she was telling him how she wanted to watch the movie “the conjuring”he offered to go with her.It bothered me because he would tell me that he doesn’t like it when I watch ghost related videos or movies and that he’s not into that,so I said to him but why are you willing to watch it with her and not me if you know I love those type of movies/videos.She had my back on that one I can’t deny that.Later on he told her how he was gonna get her a bday gift and he would even buy her food,send her money,and shares his location with her and she shares it with him.mind you that he told me how he doesn’t celebrate “birthdays” and how he doesn’t share his “location” with anyone,so obviously it made me feel a type of way.it bothers me how he’s willing to do those stuff for his bestie but not his girlfriend who he was supposed to marry too.since I complained to him so much while he was on the phone with her she hanged up and messaged him how bothered she was about my complaints about their friendship and what they do with each other.Making me feel like the bad guy here and he even got mad at me just because she wouldn’t answer his calls.

Comments

  1. AutoModerator Avatar

    ^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT – DO NOT SKIM. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything.

    I have a boyfriend who I’m almost making 2 years with this December and who I live with.I’ve been uncomfortable with his friendship with his girl bestie but I still told him that they can remain friends.Now the reasons why I feel uncomfortable with them associating is because of their past tg.He went to the hotel with her when we was dating.He tells me they din’t do anything but I doubt it,and the hotel they went to was the one me and him always went to.Ive seen her send him pics of herself with lingerie or videos of her twerking.She has gone ghost but recently she came in contact with him and he told her about me.They both have been trying to meet up for a while.He told me how he wanted to step in as the baby daddy and file for the baby’s taxes.Today when I came back from my canceled job he was on the phone with her it was like 4 and he got off the phone when it was like 9 or 10.While they was on the phone she was telling him how she wanted to watch the movie “the conjuring”he offered to go with her.It bothered me because he would tell me that he doesn’t like it when I watch ghost related videos or movies and that he’s not into that,so I said to him but why are you willing to watch it with her and not me if you know I love those type of movies/videos.She had my back on that one I can’t deny that.Later on he told her how he was gonna get her a bday gift and he would even buy her food,send her money,and shares his location with her and she shares it with him.mind you that he told me how he doesn’t celebrate “birthdays” and how he doesn’t share his “location” with anyone,so obviously it made me feel a type of way.it bothers me how he’s willing to do those stuff for his bestie but not his girlfriend who he was supposed to marry too.since I complained to him so much while he was on the phone with her she hanged up and messaged him how bothered she was about my complaints about their friendship and what they do with each other.Making me feel like the bad guy here and he even got mad at me just because she wouldn’t answer his calls.

    I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

  2. Judgement_Bot_AITA Avatar

    Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.

    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

    > I felt like I was the asshole for ruining a friendship that it was not intended too and for not trusting him and having insecurities

    Help keep the sub engaging!

    Don’t downvote assholes!

    Do upvote interesting posts!

    Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ

    Subreddit Announcements

    Follow the link above to learn more


    I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

    Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.

  3. spring-visitor Avatar

    This can’t be real

  4. Lucky_Pie2709 Avatar

    You are definitely the placeholder. Dump him

  5. deviouslife6 Avatar

    theyre dating. even if not officially. hours on the phone? 5+hours??? nah.

  6. Iowa-Enforcer-1984 Avatar

    He’s prioritizing her over you. Sounds like she’s the one he really wants.

    That behavior is unacceptable in a monogamous relationship

  7. Only_Still_1545 Avatar

    Wait….
    He wants to step in as a child’s father, for tax purposes (which if the child isn’t legally adopted ot biologically his I’m pretty sure is fraud but I digress)
    She sends him inappropriate videos, sketchy phone calls, etc?
    He won’t celebrate your birthday(?) Or share his location with you (?)

    I’m not judging, I just wanna make sure I understand.
    Edit: clarifying questions, my b.

  8. need_help_404 Avatar

    is this fr? respect yourself some girl come on

  9. Jellywoven Avatar

    Girl this man is basically in a relationship with her and keeping you as the side piece. If he’s doing more for his “bestie” than the person he lives with and plans to marry, that’s not just disrespectful, that’s straight up clown behavior. You’re not the bad guy for setting boundaries, he’s the bad guy for crossing them.

  10. SoulSiren_22 Avatar

    NTA. Have some self-respect and leave. Your intuition is right. She is more important to him than you are.

    I’ve been where you are. Ex swore up and down that he had nothing going on with a “friend” who told him she had feelings for him. But he constantly did things with and for her that he didn’t with me. When I finally put my foot down about it, he dumped me.

  11. Key-Ad-5068 Avatar

    Yeah, I stopped reading at you allowed him to keep a friend. That’s unhealthy as hell

  12. SweetTechnical311 Avatar

    yta, and very controlling

  13. FlowingFlowerDragon Avatar

    Are you the asshole to yourself for not seeing what is right in front of you? That is: you are the other woman that he is with maybe for the looks, but she is his woman. Please kindly step away, 2 years is nothing. She can home him now, time to replace and erase (replace with selfconfidence and self reliance).

  14. karenobus Avatar

    For the love of God, USE BIRTH CONTROL. Don’t let this deadbeat knock up another woman he won’t be faithful to.

    Obviously, you need to gather up self-respect and dump him. But I’ve seen lots of stories like this on here where the girl ultimately stays with their toxic partner. So if you end up sticking around for his bullshit, at the VERY least, don’t give this loser the right to your body unless he respects you enough to use a goddamn condom. But seriously, leave.

    Just think… you could be out on a date to see a scary movie with a cute guy while somewhere else your loser ex and his baby mama fight over dirty diapers while their kid screams in the background.

  15. ForeverNotMyName Avatar

    If I had a girlfriend or my wife told me I couldn’t be friends with someone that I was friends with before I met them and even after I met them, then they would no longer be my girlfriend or wife.

    Same goes with the male friends that my wife has. Nobody owns me and I don’t own anybody.

    The way she treats me at home and the way I treat her, we good.

    Well I actually read the post after I posted and it’s okay if he has a side chick if you’re fine with it. If not fine with it then leave and if you’re fine with it, then stay. Or threes a party, if your down with that.