I (18M) am a college student renting a room. It’s one room in the basement of a townhouse and the family I live with (parents early 30s with a 1 year old) also own the house. They are nice enough people but I generally like to keep to myself so I don’t tend to interact with them very much and most of our communication is done through a group chat with the three of us.
Earlier this week I texted them about something unrelated and at the end of the conversation they informed me that they are going to have a priest over on the 13th to “bless” the house and that they will be opening all of the doors in the house to do so. I didn’t respond to the text because I wasn’t really sure what to say. I don’t care rhat they’re going to be blessing the house, but I don’t want them going into my bedroom to do it.
That also happens to be my birthday weekend (I’m not technically 18 yet) so part of me just wants to visit my family for the weekend and lock my door and say something about forgetting about their plans. That sounds pretty dickish but I am not comfortable with having them in my room. It feels like a violation of privacy and I’m not sure what to do. WIBTA?
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I would imagine they have a key to every room in their house.
I don’t see your door being locked as much of a barrier here.
Are there rules against going into your bedroom? If so, tell them that? Or are you not comfortable about the house being blessed? Because if it was something else, would you care? I highly doubt they are going to steal your stuff.
YWBTA – Whether or not you agree with it, it isn’t your house, or your room, they can do what they want. Also, like someone else said, they likely have a key so why bother?
double check your contract to see if you signed anything allowing them to do this. if not, let them know you do not consent to their entering your room while you’re gone. maybe set up a camera in case they go in anyway tho
NTA
This is an invasion of privacy.
If they are accepting money to rent out a room, they need to accept that they no longer have access to it for the time that you are paying. Including to “bless” it.
Is God not capable of blessing something through a door?
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YTA – While there is an expectation of privacy where you live, I believe landlords can enter rented spaces as long as they have provided at least 24 hours notice. Maybe if you explain the situation to your landlords they can adjust the date of the priest’s visit, but locking your door and just expecting them to forget about their plans is disrespectful and a dick move just as them barging in on you unannounced would be. Having a priest bless a home does not involve going through your personal items. It does involve going to each room in the house to say a prayer, sprinkle holy water, or both. Some people do it on a regular basis (every year), when they move into a new home, or if they are going through something difficult. I don’t know your landlord’s reasons, but bottom line, talk to them about it.
They have given you proper notice. I doubt you can prevent it. If you’re a renter, usually they can gain access with proper notice.
NTA but this is one of those times when you really have to ask yourself if you want to die on this hill.
NTA. It’s your room, not a church, and your privacy is more important than their blessing.
NTA. You’re renting a room and have the right to decline them from entering your room to forcibly bless your room. They could always do it another time preferably after you leave too. Just lock it and place some booby traps to make sure they didn’t enter the room when you get back lol
What does your lease say about their ability to access your room. The terms of the lease will govern.
“A priest, eh?? Allrighty – keep the priest away from my porn and my collection of slightly used vintage sex toys, mmkay???”
Their request is a bit much, especially if you practice a different religion. So NTA.
But I would either respectfully tell them that you’re not comfortable with that, or just secure anything you’re concerned about and let it go. Passive aggressive communication is not the way to go with your landlords, unless you want to move.
I would also take a look at your lease agreement and see if you are able to say no to this before you talk to them. They may have the right to enter with appropriate notice for just about anything, and if so, there isn’t anything you can do besides deal with it or move.
I would also say, if you’re not religiously opposed to a blessing like this – it could be better to just let that happen. People who are having a priest bless their home could easily decide you’re in league with the devil if you say no, and that could make things weird at home to say the least.
Any landlord can enter their premises with notice, at least 24hrs where I am. As long as they’ve given notice they don’t need permission. Check your lease and see how much notice they’re supposed to give but they’ve given over a weeks notice so I can’t imagine they’re breaking any lease agreement or laws.
If they’re that religious and you don’t let them complete their ritual, they start to blame you for anything negative. Since it wasn’t completed, it must either be you or that part of the house.
These are some illogical thinking people. just be prepared for the blow back.
Why does not permitting strangers access to your personal space and belongings without your presence dickish?
NTA, you say “dear roommates, I don’t feel comfortable with strangers in my room so I will be locking my doors. I hope you understand.”
You pay rent. Lock the door. Case closed.
You need to carefully choose your battles. This is your shelter and home, no matter how temporary I’m sure it is easiest for you to not rock the boat and have to move. I am secular and find religious ritual ridiculous but I don’t begrudge other’s their right to participate so long as it doesn’t infringe on my right to NOT participate.
This is their home, not yours. It is important to them to do this, they see it as existential protection for their family. If they aren’t wackos then none of what they’re doing should bring you harm. If you fear for your possessions when you are out of the home that’s a bigger issue than a worry over a priest walking around the basement for a moment praying and sprinkling water. It doesn’t sound like that’s the case at all, it sounds like you trust these people. Weigh your options carefully. Happy birthday!
They gave you notice they need access to your room. This is the same if they were servicing a mechanical unit, showing it to perspective buyers. If this is a catholic blessing, it’s a priest spraying holy water in every room. Maybe 30 seconds at max.
NTAH. Blessing on a 13 th? What kind of blessing would that be?
They can bless it from the outside.
Landlords are allowed to enter your home. You don’t own what you are renting. Laws vary by location. Even if not in contract, the law allows. Most require advance notice, which it seems they have provided.
I would not like it either. Keep your beliefs away from me. But again, they are allowed to enter your room/apartment/house provided they follow the law
YWBTA, it’s their house, not yours and if you have any issues you should use your words and address it with them directly.
A blessing will do no harm.
Just have them close the door afterward.
Put away anything you don’t want revealed.
Our home was blessed before we moved in.
“I do not consent to my room having your religious ceremonies done in it. You are not authorized to enter for any reason other than a building emergency. Please text back an acknowledgement.”
Check rental law in your city and state. Usually landlords only have the right to enter a rental unit once/year for an inspection, unless repairs are needed. There may be a tenants’ union or legal aid group that could advise you. NTA
Do you really want to die on this hill? And lose your rental room? They gave notice, you can tell them you aren’t okay with it, but that’s not necessarily going to change anything other than your relationship with them. I’m not religious, but blessing the room probably involves walking through the door with some incense or herbs burning, and saying a prayer. I wouldn’t want to be responsible for every negative thing that follows which they may very well blame you for
depends on the lease agreement and what yall agreed to when everyone signed up for this situation. you can ask them to not do that, but it’s their property. usually if they give u enough notice they can enter if they want.
If you want all of the evil spirits to move into your room, the only unblessed space in the house, that’s on you!
I’d just secure my stuff and leave for the weekend. To me it’s not that big of a deal. But it seems to really bother some people. The priest isn’t going to rifle through your stuff, just mutter some prayers and sprinkle holy water around. If it keeps the peace with my landlord I don’t see it as a hill to die on. But that’s just me i guess.
You are getting seriously bad advice. With notice, they legally CAN go into your room. You can not stop them. Do not try
Let them do their thing, lock up whatever you dont want them to find, then let it go. Its not worth the bad will you will generate by fighting it
NTA they don’t need every room in the house to be blessed period just lock the door and say fuck em
Ask them to coordinate a time for the blessing because you want to be present for it but have a busy (birthday) weekend planned. Do you lock your door when not at home? Ask your landlords if they lock the house when they’re not home if they question why.
I understand your concerns, NTA for not wanting someone in your room when you’re not there. You should be aware that there is typically a clause in most rental agreements that gives the landlord the right to enter your dwelling so long as they give you sufficient notice. I would look at your agreement. FWIW I would also be surprised if your landlord doesn’t have a key to your room.
Honestly though, having your room blessed by a priest seems like a pretty innocuous thing, and you might be causing more trouble than it’s worth by refusing to comply. It sounds like you just moved in and I’m sure you want to have a good relationship with your landlord(s).
If you’re paying rent and have a lease, it’s your space. They have to have a legitimate reason to enter and give 24-hour written notice. Unless it’s an emergency, like a ruptured pipe in your room.
They are landlord and do not have the right to enter your room for non emergency or maintenance reasons. It is a violation of your privacy and religious rights. If they insist on doing so, you will report them to the housing authorities.
NTA but this is the ppl you are going to have to deal with for a long time. I would let them know politely that you are uncomfortable with people being in your room whilst you are not there.
If they do insist, you could set up a wifi camera in your room ( a cheap xiaomi or tp-link one. Costs around 30 dollars or cheaper). Monitor your room whilst they do their prayers
They did follow the general rule of give at least 24 hrs notice they will be entering. Ask yourself if it is worth the hassle. The living situation could be difficult after if you lock the door. If it’s worth it to you to fight back then by all means do so.
Tell the cult folks to stay the f out of your room.
They are NOT your roommates, they are your landlords.
In most leases a landlord can enter their property (your room) with proper notice – usually 48 hours in non emergency situations.
They gave proper notice. They can enter their own property.
If I were you I would check your lease, if no lease check your local laws.
YWBTA locking them out and it may hurt your living arrangements there.
Yta. They own the house and usually they are able to enter your apartment if they give an advanced notice. It should be in the lease.
NAH. You need to move out.
“Will that injure my pet demons?”
they cant invade your room/apt that you are legally (right?) renting at will just to bless it. get a camera that records and hide it.
If they don’t respect your privacy and go in to your room while you are not there, you need to move ASAP.
“That’s very sweet of you to offer! But no thank you. Have a great weekend!”
My best advice would be to tell them you aren’t comfortable with people being in your room when youre not there and can they please reschedule. Understand though that, as the owners of the house, they can enter your room whenever they want,. Some states require 24 hours notice and some don’t. Now some states also have laws stating that the entry must be for legitimate reasons, so you can look into the laws for your state and see if religious blessings fall under that or not. If not, then them entering is illegal. However, if your local laws allow it, then there is nothing you can do about it, except move out to a place where the landlords don’t enter your room.
It’s their house, who cares. They asked and it has zero effect on anything, why create a situation with your landlords for no reason? Time and place for what you believe in.