My son recently passed away. My ex (his father) did not want me to be the executor of the estate because said I was not telling him everything. He wanted my daughter from a previous marriage to be the executor.
Even though I have spent numerous hours out there packing his stuff up and my ex has not been out there once or even offered to help. But felt I was hiding things from him.
My daughter who is the executor, who delivers her 4th soon, changed all of the deadbolts so no one can get in. Which means no work gets done out there. Because she wants to confidently tell my ex no one has a key to get in. To be clear my son gave me a key years ago, I did not take it after he passed away. I did give my ex a key after my son’s passing and he lost it.
My issue is I am the one who is currently paying my son’s mortgage, insurance and taxes, and was doing the upkeep out there. AITA to stop making the payments and screw all of you, because you care more about the ex’s feelings than getting it cleaned out so we can sell it?
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My son recently passed away. My ex (his father) did not want me to be the executor of the estate because said I was not telling him everything. He wanted my daughter from a previous marriage to be the executor.
Even though I have spent numerous hours out there packing his stuff up and my ex has not been out there once or even offered to help. But felt I was hiding things from him.
My daughter who is the executor, who delivers her 4th soon, changed all of the deadbolts so no one can get in. Which means no work gets done out there. Because she wants to confidently tell my ex no one has a key to get in. To be clear my son gave me a key years ago, I did not take it after he passed away. I did give my ex a key after my son’s passing and he lost it.
My issue is I am the one who is currently paying my son’s mortgage, insurance and taxes, and was doing the upkeep out there. AITA to stop making the payments and screw all of you, because you care more about the ex’s feelings than getting it cleaned out so we can sell it?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> For letting the house go into foreclosure vs paying the mortgage. And no one getting anything.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
“My issue is I am the one who is currently paying my son’s mortgage, insurance and taxes”
That’s a job for the executor as it should be paid directly from the estate. Stop paying it.
NTA. It sucks, but the estate should be handling all the cost or going to the courts to make a plan. I hope you got the items you wanted before this happened. I am
Sorry for your loss.
I’m sorry for your loss. You are not responsible for this, it is up to his estate (i.e. the executrix in this case) to handle it. I would stop paying it. Again, this is terrible and I’m sorry he passed away.
The stuff about “not telling him everything” is cryptic, but it’s not relevant to your question.
YWNBTA. Inform your daughter that as the executor of your son’s estate she has access to his bank accounts and should take over paying the mortgage, insurance and taxes and property upkeep until such time as the property is sold. She is the executor so these are her issues to figure out. They are acting like they don’t trust you so wash your hands of it. Let your daughter do the heavy lifting that she’s supposed to be doing as executor.
There is no money in the estate. They just keep expecting me to keep forking out all this money.
OP, you don’t need an AH judgment. You don’t need Reddit at all.
You need a probate lawyer. Like, yesterday.
I realize it’s your daughter who’s the executor (and maybe she’s the one who needs the lawyer instead of or as well as you), but I get the impression you all dislike each other.
So if you think “to hell with them all” and lash out because you’re feeling angry and ill-treated, you may end up doing something that’s not in your own best interests.
A lawyer can help you through this minefield, look after your interests, and advise you on how to proceed.
Just stop the payments and inform the executor (your kiddo).
The home is just gonna have to be put up for sale
You should, at least, petition to court to ratify your claim of reimbursement for the estate expense (which is a priority over general creditors and beneficiaries). The other reason to petition is to let the court know that the executor is allowing waste to occur to the estate which affects other innocent beneficiaries.
NTA the executor of the account should be taken care of the mortgage and all that stuff so let her do it if she wants to keep you out of the house you have no obligation to keep paying for it
Let her know that you will no longer pay for it