I flew to visit my friend across the country. Planned to stay 2 weeks. Planned to see the sights together. Friend has some health issues and has scheduled doctor appointments that keep us tied close to home initially. As far as doing anything and getting out they want to sleep a lot and smoke weed for anxiety-it’s legal here. I hate the smell. It’s not the trip I thought we’d have. I could rent a car and explore in my own. But WIBTAH if I flew back home 5 days early?
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I flew to visit my friend across the country. Planned to stay 2 weeks. Planned to see the sights together. Friend has some health issues and has scheduled doctor appointments that keep us tied close to home initially. As far as doing anything and getting out they want to sleep a lot and smoke weed for anxiety-it’s legal here. I hate the smell. It’s not the trip I thought we’d have. I could rent a car and explore in my own. But WIBTAH if I flew back home 5 days early?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My friend thinks I’m not supporting them in their time of need if I leave early. I don’t want to sit around and do nothing.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
INFO: Have you expressed to your friend you don’t like the smell of weed and would like her to maybe only smoke it outside while you’re there? Have you expressed that you would like to at least go out and do some things together rather than be stuck at her house the whole time?
YWNBTA
I might make up a little white lie as to the reason for your early departure to soften the blow.
If you decide to stay I would definitely rent that car and get out and enjoy yourself. It seems strange to me to have a friend stay with you for two weeks and then not really engage with them at all.
Also, your friend sounds really depressed. I would try and have a conversation with them about where their head is at. I’ve heard of plenty of people smoking weed for anxiety, but sleeping all the time isn’t normal. I’d be a little concerned for them.
I don’t think you would be an AH but it may still hurt your friends feelings.
Obviously I don’t know their health issues and the extent of the ‘support’ that may be needed. But if I were to put myself in their shoes, I would be sad and a little hurt by my friend leaving early due to something out of my control.
The weed thing can be addressed and if you are truly uncomfortable with that and they cannot stop smoking due to anxiety, that is a perfectly valid reason to remove yourself.
It’s disappointing that the trip is not going the way you want and your time is also valuable (assuming you would have taken time off of work for this trip).
I would have a conversation with the friend and let them know how you’re feeling. I would hope that they would understand and maybe you two can try to plan another trip in the future when some of the health issues have resolved. Ultimately though you leaving early may strain that friendship.
Why would someone want their friend there when they are ill and want to sleep all day? How self centered. If it was me, I couldn’t send the friend away fast enough. She should have been gracious and said I’m sorry this isn’t the visit we planned. Go ahead and explore on your own or we will do it at a later date. Typical self centered behavior from this younger generation. Just tell them I see you aren’t feeling your best. I’m just going to leave early and let you get your rest. Then either go home or rent a motel room and explore on your own. If they get upset then they are not your friend.
NTA. Go somewhere to enjoy your vacation.
I mean, be truthful. Just tell them you don’t want to hang anymore bc it’s not what you thought it would be. Then dip. It’s your life and money. You shouldn’t have to waste it on something you don’t enjoy doing
NTA just do it softly.
Maybe tell them another friend asked you to go visit them.
NAH. You flew out for an adventure, not to babysit someone’s nap and weed schedule, rent the car and go live your best life!!