Very long, very rambly, it’s all company politics. Apologies in advance! Some important context at the top, keep scrolling to skip it.
I (M, early 30s) started working at a small company a little more than a year ago. I won’t get into the specifics of my industry since it’s a small world, but think of my new job as if a line-cook at a world-renowned restaurant were to quit to be the head chef at a mom-and-pop eatery. Or if an engineer that built rockets per a schematic left to draft the schematics at a toy company. My point is it’s not as “prestigious” as my former jobs, but it’s more rewarding, pays better, and I have much more freedom. My previous jobs had really done a number on my mental health, so I really like this one as it’s giving me time to relax and work on myself.
The CEO (M, late 50s) started the company with a handful of friends about 20 years ago. In that time the number of employees grew to 50+, profits soared, and the CEO’s workload grew untenable. I was brought on to form a new department (of just myself) to take on some of those responsibilities since I was educated in the field and over-qualified from my prior work. I report directly and only to him, and since he views us “on the same level” (his words, not mine) he feels comfortable asking my advice about things other people are technically responsible for. I’m always happy to provide my honest opinion, but this may have caused some friction with the rest of the CEO’s direct-reports (at least perceived on my end). They’ve been with the company for years, are very dedicated to their jobs, and trend much older than me (late 40s to late 50s). Then here I come, some young asshole telling them what to do since I apparently know so much more than they do. Again, no one has actually said that about me that I’ve heard, so I may just be self conscious about the image I’m projecting.
This story specifically relates to one of my coworkers, “Jeff” (M, late 50s). Jeff’s been with the company for years, if not since the beginning, and has a long working relationship with the CEO. As the company continued to expand, Jeff voluntarily formed a department (of just himself) to tackle an issue that needed to be addressed. It also just so happened to be something I’m very passionate about. I won’t be specific, but lets say the consequences of “The Issue” occurring would be catastrophic, and that “The Issue” requires constant upkeep, improvement, and team engagement to prevent. Him taking this role happened just after I had joined (about a year ago), so I just sat on the sidelines and offered Jeff advice whenever it came up. We share an office, so it’s easy for “The Issue” to come up during small talk. He doesn’t take my advice too often, which upsets me a little but I don’t let it show since it’s his job, he means well, and I don’t want to overstep.
Context over!
A few weeks ago, the CEO and I were having a very long informal meeting. He likes to bullrush his way through conversations and switches between tangents easily, so it can be difficult to get a word in edge-wise (by the time you do, the topic may have already switched six times). I don’t mind the long conversations, and the CEOs not a bad guy. He’s just not good at letting others speak. On one of these tangents, he started to tell me how he’s extremely frustrated with Jeff’s performance regarding the new position he had made for himself. The CEO says that its clear that, while Jeff genuinely cares, he’s just using expensive off-the-shelf “solutions” that aren’t producing the results he’d like. While I didn’t directly throw Jeff under the bus or say that he was bad at his job, I did agree that we weren’t seeing the outcomes for the effort and money Jeff is investing. Then we agreed that “The Issue” Jeff’s supposed to prevent is only going to get worse before it gets better.
During this conversation I mentioned strategies I had used or seen in the past that worked well, which interested the CEO. It wasn’t long before he switched to a different tangent and we didn’t have the time to come back around to the topic. However, the take-away I had gotten from the discussion was “Jeff’s pissing the CEO off by not doing his job well, but the CEO likes my solutions.”
Since then, I’ve been of two minds as to whether or not I should tell Jeff about the conversation the CEO and I had (or at least aspects of it). Jeff hasn’t taken my advice really so far on its own, so mentioning the CEO’s opinion is the only way I can see the situation changing via my input. The CEO’s not good at hiding a temper and can speak like a PR rep’s worst nightmare. He’s your classic “started his own business but never needed to be a leader until now” types. I’m not sure how well he is at delivering constructive criticism, but I could see it getting pretty bad for the receiving party. He could also back-burner the topic since he’s so busy and get even more pissed about Jeff’s lack of results until it all boils over. If I say something to Jeff now, it might allow him to get on the right course and prevent both “The Issue” from happening and save him from a stern discussion from the CEO.
On the other hand, saying something would betray the trust of the CEO of something he said in confidence, “The Issue” isn’t my responsibility so saying something might just be sticking myself in the middle of a situation I have no official stake in, and I could just be making a mountain out of a molehill. For all I know, the CEO and Jeff could have a very productive conversation and get “The Issue” under wraps, as unlikely as I find that happening.
So WIBTAH if I told Jeff what the CEO had said to me about his performance in confidence?
Comments
Yes. You would BTA here. It is my suggestion that you don’t say anything to Jeff that is about work unless it’s something he initiates and you can answer outside of this.
Yeah I wouldn’t tell him what the CEO said. That’s just asking for drama and could backfire on you hard. If the CEO wanted him to know, he’d say it himself.
If you want to help, just pitch your ideas to Jeff like they’re coming from you, not from above. That way you’re not breaking trust, but you’re still giving him a chance to improve before the CEO blows up at him.
Keep your trap closed
Yes would be TA because you would be breaking your bosses trust in you and that will have ramifications down the line
The CEO needs to address this with Jeff. You’re not Jeff’s boss, the CEO is. Jeff’s performance isn’t any of your concern.
Are you this person’s supervisor/person they answer to and/or were you asked to correct the situation or provide strategies to help with the desired outcome of this project?
If the answer is no.
DO NOT OVER STEP.
This could lead to this person confronting the CEO, and if they do, guess who’s job is gone first because you have decided to tell a co-worker what you realise is confidential and not for their ears information.
If you cannot kindly redirect this person without saying something, keep your mouth SHUT. It is not your position, it is not your job and you can tank your relationship with the CEO. If you cannot, let them do their thing, maybe get some eyes on it and strategy ready to go for worst case scenario.. aka a dismissal or removal from said project.
They see you as an equal and also a trustworthy employee, so they expect you to act as one. Running to this other co-worker to share what the CEO said, is not being an equal and it can ensure they stop viewing you as one, as you’ve shown them that they cannot speak about work related subjects without having to outright tell you to not repeat it.
It sounds like you’re a little worried about your own place here, after the stress from your previous job. You’re fine, you’re liked – the CEO chats to you, you’ve got space to do your work, and you are recognised for it. You don’t need to bring bad news to other people to make yourself more secure.
It might be worth looking at ways to build yourself up in your own eyes, and to find some external validation that’s not about your job, and take some time to put things in context. In work, you have your area, and that’s yours. The other person’s work is theirs, and the CEO is managing that.
(And if you’re really worried about it, take on some good task and finish stuff you can be proud of, get your STAR examples of things you’ve done, and keep an eye out for other jobs. You deserve to not feel patronised or threatened by other people in your job, just because they’re older or have been there longer.)
But yeah, don’t tell the other guy what the CEO said. You don’t need to, and you’ll look bad for it.
YWBTA.
Do you honestly think Jeff is going to keep his mouth shut about who told him all the information when he starts whining that his way is the best way and no one understands him and his methods? How much is the CEO going to trust you when he finds out you can’t keep your private conversations private.