This isn’t about me so there’s probably not many questions I can answer in the comments. My best friend does not have Reddit, and I don’t know what I would personally feel like this situation. So off to Reddit I came to see what what others would do…
So her husband comes clean that 11 years ago (probably within like 2 years of getting married I think) he was traveling a lot for work. He ended up sleeping with a stripper and then another time he had a girl in his room and they both went down on each other. I can’t remember the reason the second girl dipped out but she was embarrassed over something and left before they could go any further.
My friend has been super happy in their marriage lately even though yes in their past things could be rocky off and on. She says her husband isn’t the man he used to be. They both seem good have grown a lot. They also look much happier these days. Her husband also admitted that when she wasn’t giving him the attention he craved he would talk to random girls on some app where you can stay anonymous. She feels like she doesn’t know the man she married. She says she feels like she’s grieving a loss. She knows the person he is now but not the man she married. She cant look at their wedding photos, and though she’s not wanting him gone, looking at him in person is killing her.
I asked her what she wanted and she desperately wants to be able to forgive and forget. The forgetting part is where she’s struggling with. But she’s also wondering if what he had done is bad enough to leave him even though she’s been happy recently. She’s fearing things may never be the same but she doesn’t want to just uproot everything. Her husband wanted to come clean because thats not who he is and he says he despises the person he was. Absolutely hates his old self. He says he will do literally anything to save what they have.
As her friend it is very hard for me to stay neutral. I can’t give her good advice because I just want to protect her and take her away from that hurt.
I am curious if anyone else has been in that scenario? Would you stay? they also have 3 kids. I know for some that changes things a bit.
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I’d leave. I stayed and the relationship never is what it once was. I get it was a long time ago. I get he is a changed man or whatever. But, you have to rebuild and it won’t be the same as it was.