What the title says. My wife and I are 30 and we finally got a positive test after months of trying for our first child! I am having so many emotions all at once. Joy and anxiety are the top 2. I know it makes sense to be scared and anxious about change when you are going to have a baby for the first time, but I still feel guilty when those emotions hit me. We both have full time jobs, own a small house together, and are slowly building a savings. We are in a decent position for this, but part of my brain still feels like I’m not ready. My wife is going to be an amazing mother, but I still feel like I will find a way to mess it up somehow. Does anyone who has had similar feelings have advice for me moving forward?
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Give time for all of your feelings, while not letting guilt eat you up for having them. Give time for the feelings that you don’t have yet but are expecting to (connection with your child for example).
And have support.
Hopefully you’ve been practicing your teamwork skills with your wife. It is so much teamwork.
When our first was born he had a tongue tie and I needed to set up appointments to handle that right away but nothing was open at the time as it was a weekend and I was freaking out as a brand new dad thinking I was already messing everything up for my kid.
Everything worked out.
congratulations ! my bf and i just got our first positive pregnancy test as well in october , and i had the exact same emotions and it took me a couple weeks to really accept it , and i had a lot of thoughts about if i was ready , if i was gonna screw up but than i woke up one day and ended up just realizing that i was really excited for the new change and that i loved this baby girl more than i loved anything in my whole life, its taught me a lot of things and she’s not even here yet! its not the best advice at all but im sending you and your wife hugs ˙ᵕ˙
You’ll never feel ready. Even when they’re here, you won’t feel ready. This is your first time doing something. You’re going to be bad at some parts, good at others. You’ll forget things and try new things. If you’re this excited, I think you’re probably going to be a great dad. Good luck!
Congrats!! This is great news for you and mixed emotions are just a part of the whole process, it actually shows that you will be a great dad because you care. I myself I’m currently pregnant with twins, 19 weeks and even if I can’t advice from the man/dad point of view I definitely can say what my husband does right and what helps for me personally. I feel guilty and useless a lot now because I’m too exhausted to do much at home, and I feel awful that my husband needs to do so much at home right now, but it helps so much when he does all these small things without complaining.. he loads the dishwasher, walks the dog, vacuum the house, doesn’t blame me for doing less, allows me to sleep longer, reminds me to take my vitamins, brings home more fruits and small nutritious foods. All these small things and understanding helps soo much! He tells me that I’m not fat, I’m wonderfully pregnant and beautiful. When he sees that it’s hard for me, he tells me that I’m doing great. I bought myself a pregnancy pillow, you can buy it for your wife as a gift! It’s huge and ugly but ooooh boy how it helps to sleep better.. so small but things and signs of care every day builds up to being perfect husband and dad. Just you being worried and asking those questions shows that you got this!!
First of all: CONGRATS!!!
Second: it’s okay to feel anxious, scared, unprepared, all the things. It’s okay. I’ll say it one more time. It’s okay. Your feelings are extremely normal. Like so incredibly normal. Give yourself some time to process.
You got this!!!!
Congrats man, 30s are the best time for babies
Congratulations to you both!! As everyone else has said, your feelings are totally natural and normal… Your lives are about to change in a very big way. Life is a series of transitions, and this is one of the biggest ones you’ll ever encounter. As a mom of six adult children, I can tell you that the love you will feel for your child is like no other love you’ve ever experienced. Parenthood is an adjustment. There will be ups and downs along the way, things to get used to, new routines, some sacrifices, uncertainties and even mistakes. But you’re going to be just fine, I promise you! Be patient with yourselves and each other as you embark on the adventure of a lifetime. You’re growing a family…enjoy every minute because they all go by so quickly ❤️
I have 4 kids and experienced every emotion you mentioned with every pregnancy in any number of orders. Congratulations. You will not mess this up! It isn’t a one and done. As long as you are going in with love and intend to grow with and learn and keep building new skills you will be golden! The kindest thing I did for myself was learning to trust myself and my instincts. Not knowing everything is absolutely ok. You don’t have to have all the answers. The days are long but the years are short.
Congratulations!
I was 38 when I had my first child, I spent years stressing we weren’t ready etc and what I learnt is you are never fully ready but that’s ok it’s a chaotic wonderful time just roll with it don’t try and control everything. You’ll do great at being parents and everything else will work out
Congratulations!!!! Becoming parents is an honour and it’s been denied to many couples… enjoy this wonderful, beautiful and amazing journey… it goes by fast… the days are long but the years are short. I would give anything, ANYTHING, to just go back in time and kiss those little cheeks once more…. Your emotions are totally valid, just don’t let it take away your happiness