She [23F] and I [25M] got married 3 years ago. I work and she’s doing her masters. We have a baby [1F]. We were madly in love and she was incredibly good. We’d have such a great understanding and respect for each other and would communicate so well.
But from the last 3 months she has been acting really weird. She rarely ever talks to me openly besides the usual Yes/no stuff. We haven’t had sex in over two months. She never tells me anything about what’s going on with her life. I really tried talking to her throughout these months but she always changes the subject or the usual “I’m quite busy,don’t bother”.
I thought she might be going through a tough time so I really tried convincing her to come with me to a therapist/psychiatrist but she also refused that saying she was fine.
She rarely ever stays home especially days I’m off work and is on her phone all the time. To me it seems like she’s deeply regretting marrying me. Could it be so? I’m incredibly concerned because it just happened so randomly.
Her Phone’s clean.
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She’s having an affair. Sorry. Try to get a look at her phone.
So I’m sure that someone smarter than me will give you a better answer, but this is what I’d do.
I’d tell her that we need to talk. I’d explain everything to her that you laid out here and then ask her what’s up. The worst answer you can get is if she tells you that you’re imagining things or something.
But get her to tell you what’s going on. The corner stones of being in a relationship are trusting your partner and being able to communicate. You need to talk to her.
I’d give a 99% chance she is having an affair.
May be hard to believe at first.
I suggest sneaking her phone.
Talks won’t help.
Source: ex wife had affair that lasted 2 years until I discovered. Tried talking with her a hundred times to no avail. Until one night when she was sleeping I checked her phone and discovered everything i needed to know.
Married wayyy to young, outgrown you, wants different things, may already be having an affair. Sorry mate
What we’re not hearing in this…
are you doing your share of the housework and childcare? That’s a straight pathway to misery and isolation for anyone
are you making her feel valued and attractive where she might want to have sex
is she suffering post-partum depression? It’s incredibly common and often undiagnosed.
The fact that she doesn’t want to talk makes this challenging, so you have to frame it differently.
“Wife – I’ve noticed you seem really disconnected from me recently. I’ve tried to bring it up, but maybe I’m asking the wrong question. I’m starting to feel you don’t want to be in this marriage anymore, and it’s incredibly painful to even say those words. I love you, I love our family. Can you tell me what’s going on with you right now?
“For example, when I ask what you’ve been doing, you shut me out. I feel like I don’t know you anymore. When I have days off, you don’t want to spent them with me. And when we’re home together, you’re absorbed in your phone rather than us.
“If we can’t talk about it, I need to know if we’ve got a future.”