Basically all of that.
The background is that we are all hands on deck with work, we are very quickly going bankrupt and I am desperate for help.
Instead of helping me, she left town without telling me where she was going or who she was going to be spending her time with.
She also left me with her geriatric 16-year-old dog that requires constant attention. I have to take her with me when I travel all over the state, keep her in a van with the air conditioning going 24/7, it is ridiculous I cannot believe this woman abandoned her own 16-year-old dog to go and fool around with whoever, doing God knows what.
Keep in mind, she has multiple photos of this dog posted right here on Reddit, going on and on about how much she loves her rescue dogs.
The previous dog died from lymphoma while we were split up, while she was living in Newcastle with some other friends, supposedly not sleeping around but signing up on dating apps.
The dog slowly died from lymphoma and I got to go through all that by myself. Not even my dog.
Now the older dog is still alive, barely, and she just abandoned her at the drop of a hat to go see these imaginary friends that I’ve never heard of before and have never been mentioned before in a region of Ohio that she has never been to before.
Somehow, she just magically has friends there.
On her way out of town, she turned the GPS location sharing off so that I couldn’t see where she was. When I confronted her about it later, she said that her friends that she was going to visit, who I have never heard of, not aware of her having any friends in this region at all, were afraid of me, as if I was going to hunt them down and kill them or something.
Since I don’t know them and they don’t know me, I assume that she has been telling them that I’m a rampaging killer or something. Why else would they think this?
She literally told me that her friends said that she had to turn GPS location sharing off so that I could not see where she was. Because they didn’t feel safe.
If your friends encouraged you to do something like that, wouldn’t you be suspicious of those friends?
“Turn your location sharing off so your husband can’t see where you are, that won’t be suspicious at all!”
I don’t think anything like that ever happened, I think she turned the location sharing off so she could go and fool around with somebody that she met off of a dating app. That’s what I think.
Is there anybody that thinks this is normal? If I had done this, if the situation had been reversed and I had done this to her, don’t you think she would leave me just as quickly as I have left her?
If I just disappeared for a week and turned off my location sharing and didn’t tell my wife where I was going, what do you think would have happened?
Anyway, after that experience, after all of that, she still is going to turn around and drive to Texas, same deal, someone I don’t know, or whatever reason I don’t know. Go see a friend for 2 weeks or something. Real vague on the details.
I have never heard of any of these friends, suddenly she has to see this old friend from way back when that she has never, ever mentioned before. This is after she disappeared for a week here in Ohio with supposedly friends, no idea where she was, no idea where she is now. Not a clue where she is or what she’s doing or who she is doing it with.
Generally speaking, she always bails when there’s hard work to be done. The last time we split up, I found her on a dating site, trying to hook up with random people in Youngstown. She denied that, right up until I showed her her profile on the website.
Turning off her GPS location sharing was basically an unforgivable thing for me, after what happened before. Sorry, whatever trust I had in her before, it’s been gone for a while now.
We’re broke but she has the money to rent a car and drive from Ohio to Texas and back to see a friend and hang out there for a few weeks. A friend that I don’t know, that she has literally never mentioned before, that supposedly is not a romantic love interest.
Just like the friends she supposedly went to see here in Ohio, friends that have never had before, that she never mentioned before and that I’m not allowed to know about for some reason.
Yeah, not looking for relationship advice here, just wondering if anybody else would put up with this bullshit.
Because I ain’t.
Obviously, the relationship is torched, but she has also lost a lot of physical assets, we ran a business together, you can rest assured that I’m keeping all the assets and she will fall flat on her ass.
Everything is in my name and it’s going to stay that way. The vehicles, the house, everything. We don’t have a prenup, I never felt like we needed one, because I never thought anything like this would ever happen.
But I’m keeping everything and she’s getting nothing. That’s a pretty tough way to go, but I’m going to be really honest here, she hurt me pretty bad.
That thing with the location sharing, that was just too much. I never would have done that to her and I can’t believe that she did it to me. She knew exactly what she was doing, she knew exactly how I would react.
So, that one’s a done deal. I’ll probably edit this some more later on when I think of more stupid crap that she’s done. It’s a pretty long list.
TLDR;
Fiance threw away everything for a weekend fling.
Bitch, I hope it was worth it.
EDIT: OKAY, I missed a few things. She is my fiance, not my wife. She literally runs away from any kind of hard work. That’s really what this is about, when I need her to work, when I need her to be responsible, she always runs away. The amount of ridiculously brutal labor has been just absolutely unconscionable, considering that most of it was unnecessary. I have loaded and unloaded the same truck a dozen times, not exaggerated, the same vehicle, loaded and unloaded, again and again and again. Because of her stupid shit.
No legal entanglements at all, we can just go our separate ways.
Yes, we fight all the time. We have been fighting almost since the day we met, mostly over how lazy she is.
Every time I need her to pull her weight, she drops the ball, she always leaves me hanging, leaves me to twist in the wind, I can’t possibly detail all the times that she has just hung me out to dry to the point that I just couldn’t function for several days afterwards because I had to do so much labor, usually with some kind of ridiculous deadline, cleaning out a storage unit or something like that. She just will not lift a finger because she is extraordinarily lazy.
Yes I do have some concerns about her potential infidelity, who wouldn’t after all that, but what started all this is her laziness. Just pure lazy sack of crap. That’s really what this is about. She left town The last time around because I insisted that she assume some responsibility. Hard work and sacrifice are not her thing.
More edit:
Right, so here’s an important detail that I should have started with. Before she left town to go and visit her friends here in Ohio, these friends that I’ve never heard of before that insisted she turn off her location sharing so they could be safe and I wouldn’t know where they were, she put all her stuff into storage. Which I thought was strange, because we just got everything out of storage because I didn’t want to pay the monthly bill. We worked really hard to clean out those storage units so we didn’t have a monthly bill, she turned right around and filled up a storage unit with her stuff, a storage unit somewhere I don’t know about, some secret location, with all of her stuff. Then she left town, after she was done securing her stuff in a storage unit. Does that seems suspicious to you?
Now that I think about it, I feel like an idiot. She packed all of her stuff right in front of me, I stood there and watched her do it. She put it into a storage unit, left town, stopped sharing her location with me and I just went along with that for like the first day or two.
And here I am sitting here wondering if she’s sleeping around on me.
Jesus Christ, I’m an idiot.
——-————————————–
This is a post from a while back, I forgot all about this. This is from when she was fooling around on dating apps, insisting that she wasn’t sleeping around.
https://reddit.com/r/Infidelity/comments/1jgebah/wife_unfaithful/
Wife Unfaithful
Safe to say that she will see this post eventually. Things weren’t great, especially in the bedroom. Yeah, that’s on me.
She had moved out and was staying at a friend’s house, I was already suspicious when one night she doesn’t text me back all day. 7:45 a.m. she texted me and then didn’t respond all day all night, I was freaking out thinking she had been in an accident or something. Obviously, not her normal behavior.
So while I was freaking out trying to contact her, wondering if I should drive 3 hours to where she’s staying to find out if she’s okay, she finally answers the phone and gives me some bullshit excuse about making invitations. She ghosted me for like 3 days straight. During the three days, I did some cyber sleuthing and found exactly what I thought I was going to find.
So, I got screenshots of everything. I don’t really want to confront her with anything, I just want to leave. I feel so empty and so hollowed out and… lacking words to accurately describe how I feel.
Of course, she denies everything, tells me that I’m crazy, all that good stuff.
What’s really strange is that somehow I feel guilty about all this? I feel terrible that I wasn’t getting it done in the bedroom and I know that was important to her. But on day one, the first day we met I was very clear about no open relationships, no playing the field, no dating apps.
I went on to say if the time comes that you feel like you need to step out of the relationship, if you’re not satisfied, that we need to talk about that like adults and move on. Seems like that time is now, and that conversation should have already happened but did not.
Safe to say she’s breaking those rules and I had to find out in the worst possible way.
Now I’m thinking that she moved out so she could have like some kind of love nest up north and her friends were in on it the whole time, covering for her.
The gas lighting continues, she’s telling me I’m crazy and imagining things, I just want her to be honest with me. I haven’t sprung any screenshots on her yet, I don’t feel the need to hurt her, I just want to make a swift exit and put this all behind me.
I guess that’s all I got to say about that.
Source link:
https://reddit.com/r/Infidelity/comments/1jgebah/wife_unfaithful/
Comments
If you don’t want to be married to her then get a divorce.
Bro, if I pulled that stunt, I’d come home to my stuff on the lawn and a court date. Disappearing act during a financial crisis? Nah, that ain’t love — that’s Houdini with WiFi.
You’re right to feel upset Disappearing without explanation during a crisis isn’t okay Trust and respect go both ways no one should have to tolerate this
NTA. This is not normal. Letting this pass means giving up your self-respect.
I wouldn’t put up with it either.
“Not sleeping around, though”
Hmmmmm ok, sure.
NTA
You can’t spell team with her
Just the “e” so maybe 25% of it
Only a fool would stay in that situation. Kick her out, pack her shit and cut all contact. Only way to maintain some self respect. That behavior is disrespectful and totally suspicious as hell.
Have you contemplated cancelling the card she had to have used to rent the car? A little petty but certainly a good way you get her attention. Cancel any cards she is on. If the phone is in your name suspend it. Sounds like you have money issues, any savings accounts clear them out. Divorce here seems imminent,why not get ahead of it?
when she returned, everything she owned would be outside, door locks changed, removed from everything… If i was you
you said you are currently struggling and she just leaves? not even worth explaing to
A partner who disappears without a word, turns off their GPS, and then takes off again while the family is going bankrupt is not a partner, they are a liability. NTA
NTA
Not normal, not ok. It’s sus as hell. Don’t trust she’s not fucking around. She’s def checked out of the marriage.
[ Removed by Reddit ]
She would no longer be my wife. There is no way in hell I would put up with that. You don’t control her and she doesn’t control you, it works both ways. I’d leave her.
Yeah she’s been over here sucking this d-ck
Divorce.
She’s looking for an opportunity when things crash and burn with you… I would end it.
It’s not normal, it’s not healthy in any serious committed relationship.
I mean, is your wife a secret thug that is actually about to save y’all from bankruptcy? That’s what it sounds like to me. 🤷♀️
I feel like this is a very one sided story with lots of missing info. Did you have a flight? Did she say she needed space etc. I find it hard to believe someone just went somewhere one day and said nothing.
Leaves when it gets hard, has money stashed so she can RUN instead of help.
Literally HIDES from you.
Dude. She probably got railed by 3 other dudes by now.
There are a lot of puzzle pieces missing here. How did y’all get to this point? What exactly is she meant ti be doing about your financial situation? Do y’all have a business together?
It appears you actually do know where she is … in a rental car driving to Texas to see some random friend.
If you want to end your marriage you can do that for any reason you choose. You don’t need approval or validation.
It’s not the least bit normal or a spouse to disappear for three weeks, without some clear explanation as to what is going on.
She maybe sleeping around or she could simply be looking for other places to live (without you).
Whether or not she is with someone else, it seems likely she is going to bail without warning. Do you have a clear view of the finances? Is it possible she has been draining joint/business funds, in preparation for her departure?
You should get yourself organised ASAP, in preparation for a split.
NTA
you need a lawyer, and tell her you are taking the dog to the shelter the next time she leaves without it.
UpdateMe!
She has 0 respect for you. She knows she can walk all over you.
YOU DESERVE BETTER
If you stay in this relationship, and “give her another chance,” yes you’ll be TA.
NTA but Wife or fiancé? You said both in your post.
If this is all accurate and happened to me, I’d be done. With our assets, I’d hire a PI to see if it’s infidelity and I’d document all of it. If it is infidelity, use it in the divorce and walk away.
NTA.
INFO what aren’t you telling us?
Is this out of character for her or is it a common occurrence? If she literally just blindsided you by bailing then of course NTA but I feel like there’s a TON of missing background here.
Your wife has abandoned you twice now in the middle of a financial crisis. It’s over. See a divorce attorney right away & protect yourself.
Pls check all your accounts to see if she’s withdrawn any money. I would put passwords on them if possible.
Walk away. Put the dog down. Build a new life.
No idea why you’re even still with her.
Its also odd that you start off by telling us she’s just left town, then later in your story it turns to padt tense. All rather odd, and I’m not sure if this is just poorly written fiction.
Also, it doesn’t actually matter whose name assets are in if you’re married.
Its over mate: change the locks anf send her stuff to storage. Then hire a lawyer.
She with her bf
Yikes. Sounds like she wants to burn the relationship and bridge and everything. Yeah this is doneszo.
Are you sure she fled for a fling?
It sounds like she’s fleeing a bad relationship
She’s likely not coming back.
Fiancé or wife?…
Fiance threw away everything for a weekend fling …….. Title says she your Wife .. next to last sentence says Fiance
Which is it ? If she is just a > Cheating girlfriend = Pack up everything that’s hers > put in a one month storage unit .. Cancel any credit cards / phones YOU are paying for … Change the locks > she’s on her own
If the car she is in is yours .. soon as you see her again get the keys … don’t think you can report a car stolen – even if it is in your name > If she always had it as ‘her car’ / permission to drive as ‘hers’ > legalities
If she is Your Wife > get a lawyer … Still do all of the above because > she left the home – destination unknown to you .. prenup / no prenup .. Lawyer up … YOU can’t just decide she gets nothing from a marriage > legalities
I’d have already gone forward with the divorce, block her number, ghost her aswell, change the locks so she can’t come back whenever she wants and move on with your life
She’s cheating
Even if she’s not literally cheating she’s doing everything but that and you should prepare to separate. Get a divorce attorney on the phone, prepare your finances (make sure she can’t drain what you’ve got), and if necessary or possible plan on contacting her family to pick up the dog and her belongings maybe.
Calm down folks. Fake story.
She had to turn off location sharing and couldn’t bring her dog.Sounds like she’s at a DV shelter. Good news is, she’s not necessarily cheating. Bad news is she’s scared of you.
Intolérable. Don’t be accept an unhealthy relationship, none of that is normal. Pls leave -28 f
Wow. You know what’s she’s doing, and you need to find out when she’s coming home. Make sure to change the locks and put her things in trash bags at the edge of the driveway. Text her that her things are packed and at the edge of the drive.
That easy she has time to pick them up before the neighbors start picking through her stuff. Get to a lawyer asap to protect your business and money. Cut off those credit cards that you both share.
Forget her because she does it without any problem and once again a so-called great friend of animals abandons her dog without any problem…I’m sure that her friends will help her in her new life!!!!
Document everything, and I mean everything. See a divorce lawyer now and serve her with the papers when she comes back before she even gets out of the car in the driveway.
Is she your wife or your fiance? Big difference, and you called her both.
If you’re married – she gets half of all your stuff from the day you got married. Anything from before marriage is yours. If not married, then yeah – she gets nothing. Which is more than she deserves.
And, no, I wouldn’t put up with this.
I’d have all her stuff packed and waiting outside for her. Except the dog, of course.
Hon, this is not a marriage. She clearly wants to be single, so let her. Get a lawyer and file asap.
Just start the divorce paperwork.
When she comes back does she suddenly have money? Might be smuggling something.
So is this your wife or fiancé? If it’s the former you may not get a choice in what you give her. While I agree that she shouldn’t get shit a court may feel differently. Get a really really good lawyer, it sounds like you may need it.
Also no, no one would put up with this. You already have for longer than most people would
Pretty much an “open and closed” case. Her actions clearly show where her emotions lie. And they are not centered on you.
Just divorce her!
Time to break off with her but do plan properly to ensure you are not at disadvantage position. Good luck and update again.
>I don’t think anything like that ever happened, I think she turned the location sharing off so she could go and fool around with somebody that she met off of a dating app. That’s what I think.
>Is there anybody that thinks this is normal? If I had done this, if the situation had been reversed and I had done this to her, don’t you think she would leave me just as quickly as I have left her?
This sounds like such a ridiculous tale that I can’t believe it’s real, but just in case it is:
Yes dude, she is and has been fucking other people. How the hell did you stay after the 1st time she disappeared?
You should sell the house and everything in it and be relocated when she struts back into town thinking she can mooch off of you for a while. See a lawyer, hire a process server and get the ball rolling, serve her papers in Texas or Ohio or wherever the hell she is. She has abandoned you several times already.
Fiance or wife? Is her name on the lease/property where you live? This changes your options
Go scorched earth on her man.
This is probably fake. The language that is being used and the wife vs fiance angle seems rather strange. Anyway, OP is probably TA
NTA. The level of sus is over 9000. Call a lawyer, post haste.
Updateme!
Change the locks on your place, toss her shit outside, make sure she can’t access your money, and be done
Your marriage is over
Ok yes, visiting friends you’ve never heard of out of state for an extended period of time is a red flag. Turning off location. Also red flag. But the thing that shocked me here, that you barely even seem to be worried about, is that her excuse for turning off location is because her friends are scared of you hurting/killing them?? What the absolute fuck? The way you dismissed this makes me feel like there’s a reason why her friends would be scared of you? This is the biggest issue, on top of all the other issues. This is what should be addressed. THIS is what she felt was true enough to say to you. wtf is that. She said that TO YOU. That her friends said she had to turn off her location because they’re afraid you will hunt them down and kill you. Do you have anger issues you’re not disclosing? Have you tracked your wife down angrily before?
I just can’t wrap my head around this. Why did your wife choose this excuse? If it was all only about cheating, she surely would have said “I don’t know how it turned off! Must be a glitch!”. Not “my friends think you’ll hurt us” and then you just dismiss that and focus only on the location being turned off.
There is SOOOO much you are not disclosing here, likely to make you look more sympathetic. 🤷🏻♀️
Move on, forget her
I’m struggling to believe this story.
Reads like a storyline that was rejected by a B Movie producer
Find yourself a good lawyer just in case. I know you said you’re not married, but I also know in some states there may be laws about residency rights and such. If she’s that big of an AH, I wouldn’t put anything past her. Protect yourself.
Dude.
It’s done. Just throw in the towel.
I don’t see the issue here. Not married everything in your name – so change the locks and kick her to the curb. Of course she’s out getting laid while you are busting your butt. Not worth any more effort or discussion
He’s with a guy. What you have to do is stop caring and cut her off at once. You know she is lying and deceiving. She won’t tell the truth, no matter how much you ask and tell her that her lies don’t make sense. You are choosing to stay and be made a fool of.
Are you going to track her clean and murder her? You sound a little angry.
This has to be fake. Too much detail about being married with no prenup and then say you’re engaged.
Stop putting up with this. Leave this toxic relationship yesterday. You’re only TA for staying as long as you have.
If you marry this woman, more fool you…
Do your self a favour and get rid or you’ll put yourself in an early grave