Will delaying sex deter guys who are only looking to pump and dump?
I want to form serious and meaningful relationships and want to get to know someone well before doing the deed.
I just want them to date me because they enjoy my company and like me for who I am, not because of the sex I can give them.
I could have sex with someone after 6 dates (food, coffee, cinema, wine walking etc) because I would like to see his consistency and investment in time. I always pay for half of these dates because I do not want a guy to think that I am only using him for free meals.
Comments
IMO, any dude peace’n out cuz you ain’t ready to hit the sheets ain’t worth your time, or your tears. You’ve got a damn good game plan here, and frankly, it’s a good reality check for them. If they bounce, their loss. You’re a half of the equation too and your standards matter.
It shouldn’t take you 6 dates to know someone’s motive. I can usually tell in a few minutes. You should probably work on your intuition.
So your saying to wait for at least 6 dates? Thats not that bad, should weed out guys looking for a quick hook up. Id just make sure you let them know your intentions.
Yeppp! delaying sex is a great way to weed out the guys who are just looking for a quickie. If they bail because you’re not putting out fast enough, you dodged a bullet. Six dates sounds reasonable to see if they’re actually interested in you and not just your body. Keep paying your way too shows you’re not playing games
I agree with everything you are saying but I think it’s guy to guy. You could hold that back and then they achieve it and leave. No matter 1st or 9th time. As shittt as it sounds I know some people would leave after they got what they “wanted”
Totally get where you’re coming from OP! In my experience, yes, delaying can deter the pump-n-dump kinda guys… but not all of ’em. It’s not always a black n white thing tho, some dudes are just really good at the long game. Chilling out and taking ur time gives u more of a chance to spot the red flags and losers. Treat it like test driving a car, y’know? Don’t gotta buy the first one you see on the lot. At the end of the day, trust your gut. You’re worth more than a rushed decision, always remember that! 👍🏼👍🏼🔥🔥
How about just doing what you both enjoy without calculations and suspicions?
Sorry, but I think that your approach to guys you date is just as instrumental as the approach you suspect them of.
Try seeing men as human beings, real persons, individuals, instead of walking stereotypes.
Maybe then your intuition will kick in and you’ll understand them better.
No it doesn’t. If a guy wants to play you he will wait half a year for you then fuck you and leave you.
Have you been hurt in the past?
If you plan to delay it until marriage then yes. Otherwise no lol.
IMO sex is part of a relationship.
It will deter everyone that wants to have a sexual relationship with you, including guys that only want you for sex.
But it might also deter people that would love to date you but might assume you don’t have compatible libidos, sexual desires and sex drives.
I’d still delay it though if it’s something that concerns you.
Yes it will! Don’t listen to those that are saying it won’t. The ones that will try for a long period of time are typically narcissistic, so be aware of that! Say you want to wait for marriage to see how the man reacts, that will tell you everything you need to know!
Yeah if you delay having sex eventually the dudes who just wanna have sex with you will just move on from you.
You sound like a woman with high expectations. Share that wisdom with your sisters
Yes and no? You may also deter men who want serious relationships, but don’t want to wait a long time to find out whether you’re sexually compatible. I’m saying this as a woman who wouldn’t wait 6 dates to have sex with a man lol. Sex is an important part of my life, and I would be upset to find out after a good amount of effort and waiting a while that we’re not sexually compatible. Plus I don’t want to go multiple weeks without having sex with anyone. It’s all personal preference. Keep in mind that just because he’s willing to wait to have sex with you doesn’t mean he’s not actively having sex with someone else (or multiple someones) while he’s waiting for you to be ready.
depends on the guy, but if the guy is looking for something serous and he found out you were a hook up girl in the past and now not you say your not that kind of girl any more like you met him a church he will walk, a lot of guys will see it as you using them or not that into them, but were willing to hook up on rando the first date but now will make them wait, major red flag for most guys.
Yep
I wish I could tell you how to figure out who is being genuine when it comes to life.
It’s better to wait for at least two months to have sex imo