I peacefully and silently initiated no contact with my fiancé’s family (mom and sister) due to them continuously displaying what my therapist called ‘covert narcissistic behavior’ and constantly being caught making up lies in an attempt to create drama between us while the 4 of us were living together. My partner is aware of this aside from what my therapist said & has been the one to catch them in the lies a few times / even his sister’s boyfriend had caught her in one and she stormed to her room and slammed the door (which was also the last time she ever spoke to me) so my partner understands and supports my no contact.
My anxiety comes in because when we moved out September of last year no contact was my choice for my own wellbeing and I would never tell him not to see his family, so he has been visiting them basically everyday now that it’s been 9 months and we only live 15 minutes away (it started small with “emergencies” or “errands” or little “gifts” here and there and now that it’s been so long it’s escalated to basically everyday), but his family never owned up to what they did or made any genuine attempt to have a relationship with me in the almost year since we left, so lately I’ve been constantly worried about the future because we are moving to a new city in a month to start our new life and me starting law school, and what happens when the circus starts up again but this time worse because they got used to the idea of possibly regaining “control” over him since he’s always stopping by to do these errands 6 days a week paired with them not having to face me or what they did, and now suddenly we will be over 300 miles away trying to start our own life without any interference or constant“emergencies “ or “health scares” that always turn out to be basic errands or false alarms?
I thought about bringing up my concerns with him since the move is approaching but I’m worried about him getting defensive since he has let his guard back down with them now that it’s been so long and they haven’t done anything as drastic lately (and why would they when they are already back to seeing him 6 days out of the week and therefore finally getting their way again). Would it be better for me to just not say anything and let him deal with it himself for him to truly open his eyes?
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