I (25m) am on month 3 of being with my girlfriend (28f). She has a lot of acne scars and I feel like I’m lying to her by omission if I don’t tell her about my kink very soon. But both the act of telling her or keeping it a secret forever both seem like an AH move.
At first, she wore heavy makeup on her face and she avoided wearing clothes that show her back. Now, there are still some covering when it just the two of us, but she does allow me to see. I truly do love her, I would still love her even if the acne scars disappear. I want her to know who she’s dating. Would I be the asshole ?
WITA if I told my girlfriend I have a kink for acne scars ?
r/AITAH
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I don’t think telling her you have a kink for probably one of her biggest self conscious attributes is going to go well….
Maybe the answer isn’t to tell her they’re your “kink”, but that you think they’re beautiful, and she’s beautiful, and she shouldn’t need to hide them on your account.
bro no ur nta . honestly it’s kinda sweet?? like u actually like smth she’s probly insecure about. Just tell her gently, don’t be weird about it lol. she might feel weird at first but i think she’ll appriciate ur honesty tbh
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I’m sorry but what
If you love her regardless of her scars then it seems there should be no reason to inform her of your “kink”. She might start to believe that you care for her only because of the condition. Instead you could let her know that she should feel no need to cover the scars when you are alone because you don’t find them unattractive at all. You could also try to encourage her to feel more comfortable in social situations.
Yeah way too early for that kind of info. I would preface it more as you loving how she looks without makeup/ in certain types of clothes rather than specifically her scars. At least until yall are REALLY REALLY comfortable with each other. You aren’t lying either, so don’t even entertain that thought.
“I didn’t know how to say this because I don’t want to sound weird, but I think your scars are gorgeous. They emphasize your beauty in a totally unique way and it breaks my heart that you feel the need to hide something that I love about you.”
NTA, just don’t phrase it as a kink.
Its all about how you phrase it. Telling her you have a kink for her scars will not go well. Telling her you think she’s beautiful and that her scars are part of that beauty might go better.
Keep it to yourself. I wish I didn’t know.
Uh
bro tbh thats actually kinda wholesome?? not weird or gross like ppl make kinks sound. she probly super insecure abt them scars so if u tell her u LIKE them?? that might boost her confidence fr. just dont be weird about it lol. not the ah imo
I’d maybe not frame it as a kink. Instead shower her with how beautiful you think she is. If she ever feels self conscious about her scars, reassure her that you think even her blemishes are beautiful… Sexy even! That way you’re expressing your affection to her as a complete person, flaws and all.
My point is that if you frame it as a kink, there’s a good chance that she’s going to think you’re only into her for a single physical trait. That’s going to give her some feel bads.
There are some things that definitely do NOT need to be shared, yes even to your partner. At least not how you seemingly intend to phrase it.
How tf is that a kink?
u just like what u like. if u love her and ur kink aint hurtin nobody, then its not a bad thing. just tell her in a way that dont make her feel like an object. like “ur beautiful and i rly love every part of u, scars and all”. not weird at all bro
This is….strangely wholesome. Don’t phrase it as a kink though.
Just tell her you love “everything” about her, and if she mentions it, you can tell her that her scars are just as beautiful as the rest of her, “I love your face” is also OK.
Kink is a word that can have negative connotations for some people.
I think it’s totally OK to have these feelings, and good job finding someone who ticks your boxes!
Don’t use the word “kink” when you explain it to her and you’ll do fine.
I would like to dive into how does one develop this kink
Telling her it’s a kink will surely make her feel like you’re only with her because of the scars. I don’t honestly even understand how it’s a kink, it sounds just like a preference of something you’re attracted to.
It would be nice to tell her you think she’s beautiful no matter what, with makeup or without. But saying you have “a kink for her acne scars” will definitely backfire and sounds like a backhanded compliment to make her feel bad, or like you don’t like her for who she is as a person but some physical attribute she has.
It depends on how you phrase it and say it. She is already insecure and self conscious of her scars dnt add more to it.
Do tell her in a loving and romantic way and with your actions too rather than telling her its a kink.
Show it and say it in aloving way.
Goodluck!
NTA.. just maybe word it differently from a kink. Like highlight that you love her natural beauty but also understand it’s likely an insecurity so she probably wont stop wearing any make up
So it’s acne scars in general that get you goin’? Or just hers? I only ask because my husband has a little gap in his front teeth, which he hates, but I kinda love it because it’s one of the things that make him my husband. I’ve also never heard of an acne scar kink but, please, don’t let me yuck your yum.
NTA man. Actually kind of sweet tbh. As long as you don’t say it like “yo babe your scars turn me on” out of nowhere lol. Maybe just let her know you find her beautiful including her scars. If you say it gently and respectfully, it might even help her feel more confident
Please do not tell her that, it has to be her biggest insecurity and bringing it to attention isn’t gonna to make her feel at ease or better about it.
How did you like being single before?
Why do you call this a kink?
So…her scars give you a boner? Or you think she’s beautiful regardless? Because there’s a difference…
Just start telling her how beautiful she is, run your fingers over her back and talk about how much you love touching her skin, etc
Like, every day, tell her how beautiful she is. She will eventually start to believe you.
Everybody has their kinks.
Just tell her she is beautiful. You don’t need to mention your kink which points out her scars.
Yes, I would just not use the word kink. It might be lovely for her to hear that anyway, since it sounds as if she is self conscious about them.
“I think everything about you is attractive and I wouldn’t change anything about you.”
Don’t call it a kink.
Ngl if someone told me acne scars were their “kink” as in some kind of sexual thing I would be so grossed out lol.
If it’s just that you think they’re beautiful maybe tell her that lol but telling anyone you’re sexualizing their scars may make them feel weird about it.
i don’t think that’s what a “kink” is. i don’t think every possible variation from the socially-constructed standards of beauty is a “kink.” it’s just something you like, and you can say that.
Saying “I think your face is beautiful, and to be very honest I kind of like the acne scars even” sure sounds better than I have a kink. You can maybe even say “I know this sounds weird to say so I have had a hard time saying it but I need to tell you something. I had a teacher a long time ago who was one of the hottest women i have ever known. She had some scars similar to yours. I kind of have a thing for them to be honest”
Both of those may be weird, but are night and day from just saying you have a kink.
For what little it’s worth it had a huge weird crush on a girl with some acne scars around puberty. I sure couldn’t call it a kink, but I often find them attractive. It’s not as weird of a thing as you may think it is.
I read a post about a dermatologist who had this kink and used it to tell his girlfriend facials helped heal them.
This is not a kink. You need to rethink the definition.
as a woman, for the love of god, do not tell her that you have an acne scar kink.
i have eczema and i wouldn’t find it flattering if a man told me it was his kink. i would actually feel increasingly insecure – i don’t want somebody to be staring at, nevermind turned on by, my skin condition
My boyfriend also has acne scars and for some reason I also find them attractive. I think its weird because I have never been with a man before who has had them. They never grossed me out, and I still think he is very handsome and sexy regardless. He is kind of worried about them, but I love them because I feel like that what makes him, him.
Now, I wouldn’t say you have a kink for them, but I would tell her how much you adore them and think they add to her beauty maybe?
I think if you put it that way she would think you were making fun of her. Look her in the eyes and tell her how beautiful you find her. I don’t think you even need to mention scars. She might, and then you tell her how you feel and how much you love her.
It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.
Don’t make it sound like a bad thing. It’s not a bad thing that you find her beautiful and attractive without makeup. Just tell her that. Otherwise, it’s just going to sound weird or creepy.
How would it make you feel if she felt the same way about one of your biggest insecurities ?
Don’t say shit just act on your love for her and be consistent. If she’s happy you’ll never feel like an asshole.