I’ve had some disgusting experiences in the past few yrs due to my changing appearance asa result of medical issues, while simultaneously living & working in a predominantly white area.
Safe to say, I never experienced racism as constant and clear as this.
It’s affected everything from daily interactions, doctor appointments, social environments, etc.
I’ll never experience any faux feeling of sisterhood with women again, even once my medical issues are addresses & subside, and I look a little more decent again.
I’m wondering how I’m going to navigate this dynamic with women in future, knowing what i know now.
What have other women done? example, when women are being nice to you because of the way you look, but you KNOW, had your hair been a bit frizzier, or you hadn’t lose the weight, etc, they would be treating you entirely differently.
Also, if you care to share, what are some practical, tangible tips you’ve integrated into your life, in terms of self-advocacy, and having to trust your intuition, etc.
Comments
I haven’t had many enduring, meaningful relationships with white women. Conversely, I am still best friends with other women of color from as early as middle school through my undergraduate studies. From my friendships and working relationships with white women, they are white before women, making true sisterhood a challenge because there’s a certain amount of privilege that comes with that aspect of their identity. This privilege lends itself to entitlement, which has also been a problem in my relationships with them. It’s all good until they perceive you as doing better or having more than them. I saw this come out when I got engaged, bought the house, got married, had a kid first, etc.. A co-worker that didn’t like working with me confided in another that I was intimidating because my life seemed so perfect. Like girl, maybe if you put that hater energy into bettering yourself then you’d have what I have too. 🙄