Women of Reddit, what’s a moment when you felt unexpectedly powerful — even if it was small?
Women of Reddit, what’s a moment when you felt unexpectedly powerful — even if it was small?
r/AskWomen
Women of Reddit, what’s a moment when you felt unexpectedly powerful — even if it was small?
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I was crossing a street and there was a family on bikes about to cross the other way. Their little toddler on a tricycle raced ahead towards the street, but there was a car coming who clearly only saw me because of the bushes on the family’s side and wanted to cross ahead of me (which is dumb and dangerous anyway, even if there was no toddler). I took two huge fast steps forward and waved at the car to STOP because it was going to hit the kid. Car slowed down and stopped, probably only then noticed the little kid who then entered the street, and I kept on walking my dog. Whole evolution was like a second and a half.
When I realized that my anti-depressant helped me become the woman & mom I had always dreamed I would be.
I was 17 years old. I was afraid to have sex, but my boyfriend at the time was pressuring me constantly. He’d tell me it was okay when I’d suddenly ask to stop. I found out he was going to work and telling his friends and coworkers that I’d be the perfect girlfriend if I would put out. I definitely remember as a young girl, feeling like I should just do it to get it over with. Especially because he wanted to do it so badly. But thankfully, I didn’t. I actually confronted him and when he admitted it (thinking he did nothing wrong), I told him to find someone else who’s willing to sleep with him, since he wasn’t willing to wait until I was ready. I’ll be 26 this year, and I’m still very proud of that moment. I definitely felt extremely powerful.
When I left my abusive ex and he posted a video the same day like an hour later destroying all the stuff I’d left behind and slating me. I literally smiled as I watched my stuff burn and realised that I had finally one upped him and he knew he couldn’t control me anymore and there wasn’t a single fucking thing he could do about it. I think about that moment a lot.
For the first time ever in my relationships – an avoidant man broke up with me. I didn’t chase, crumble, or cry. I had grace and self-respect knowing it was never about me. This is the most recent one I can think of.
Choosing the finish line at first half marathon
Watching my exes hand shake as he poured himself water in the courtroom. It was his choice to drag out the divorce, I knew I had good evidence, watching him squirm in the courtroom because of his own actions felt pretty good to me. The judge sided with me as well.
Honestly, when I finally lost most of the weight through diet alone (less sugar, less carbs). I felt so much more healthy and able to walk longer, not get winded at all, and just felt more nimble. I looked people in the eyes more. Smiled more. Just felt like a powerhouse. And this was after a very difficult pregnancy and one loss before that. I felt like I could do anything!!
Secondly, mastering breastfeeding with my second after failing miserably with my first.
When, after a decade of eating disorders and obsessing over the scale/fad dieting/hating myself as a result, I realized I’d gone a few years without thinking about my weight and was genuinely happy with my body. What helped was getting in touch with my physical self (at the time this was through a yoga teacher training), learning I’m so much more than my body (yoga philosophy also helped with this) and addressing other challenges in my life that were ultimately the reason I started controlling my eating in the first place (therapy and meeting supportive friends helped here). It’s definitely been the hardest thing I’ve had to go through so far – I remember feeling like I was trapped in cellophane and couldn’t escape my skin – but today I’m so content and comfortable and cannot believe I was ever that person. It feels amazing to be able to say that.
Just visited Seattle for the first time. I got up early and walked to a dispensary on my own. Smoked a joint while walking around the city. I felt so adult and alive.
In high school, I was in an AP class and it was the final week of senior year. The teacher walked in and said that she had totally forgotten to teach a topic that was required by the end of the year. She took about 15 minutes to lecture and then asked that we write an essay about it. I was livid and feeling pretty ballsy, so I wrote an essay about how it’s ridiculous to ask a student to write a graded paper on a topic they’ve just been introduced to and have not had the chance to study. On the day she handed the essays back, my friends got theirs first. One got a B and one got a C. I got mine back. The teacher had written on it, “Point taken. A+”. I will always feel proud when I retell that story, even though it kind of pissed my friends off 🤣
When I could finally break up with the boyfriend to whom I gave too many chances.
When I won the physical fitness award at police academy. Only awarded to one student per class.
Hadn’t welded stick for six months, mig for about a year, and last time I did tig was literally FIVE YEARS ago.
Wasn’t told our licensing test was coming up, so I found out the same day.
Mildly pissed off, went on the floor, grabbed my mask, and aced all three on the first try.
Of course, I AM a licensed welder, so I shouldn’t be surprised – but given the time of no practice, it felt pretty bloody powerful.
Every single time I jump on the motorbike, I feel even more powerful when I get compliments of said bike.
When I told a creepy man to leave a young schoolgirl alone at a bus stop.
I quelled him with a look and asked her to sit with me.
This is certainly less profound than most on here, but still important and empowering to me. We bought a popup camper a few years ago. My husband has still never towed it. I got to the point with the last one that I could go to the campground, back the camper in, set the whole thing up, work from camp for a few days until my husband joined me on the weekend. Backing that sucker up, and setting it up all by my self was so empowering for me. 10 years ago I would NEVER have even attempted it. We’ve since upgraded to a nicer popup, but it’s too big for me to do alone. And I’m a little bummed!
Mine aren’t as good. I threw a piece of rubbish from my spot on the couch, over the coffee table, and into an obscured paper bag.
Or when I’ve made a great catch.
Basically any feat of athleticism related to throwing or catching, which is not something I’m known for.
Every time I lift heavier in the gym. Hit some very impressive pr’s (for me)
I moved out of my apartment and went travel nursing with my boyfriend to a whole other state. We broke up three months after I moved, and I had to make my way back to my moms one bedroom apartment. I was sad, like REAL SAD.
However, my net worth at the time was $180,000. I moped for a bit, but I had the beautiful luxury of getting a new apartment within a week (which ended up being my old apartment that my landlord never occupied) and I felt like the universe was giving me a second chance at living there before I was never meant to leave.
I had money to get me out of a tough situation. I hired multiple therapists to get me through the month and I didn’t even work because I was miserable and sad.
Even though I felt powerless at the time, I was indeed powerful because I had worked so hard to give myself the means to take care of myself for this exact moment (an emergency that was my emotional crisis).
This is why I’m so adamant that my friends get their degrees, save their money, don’t depend on a man. So many women are in shitty situations because they blindly follow a man and don’t set themselves up for whatever emergency they may encounter.
everytime i lift in the gym
When I burned the bridges to toxic “family” and ILs. Stopped talking to them and moved to an island. Living our best lives with them firmly on the outside, where they belong, is magic.
My new chosen family threw me a surprise party recently. I felt SO POWERFUL knowing the people who think I don’t deserve love were wrong. It is easy to love me. Posting a photo of the big group that assembled to celebrate me…that felt so good.
I am loved NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE ELSE THINKS! 💪🏾
When I make my own projects!!! I’m writing a second book and making an app and making a movie. I just hit 60k words on my book. I just coded (i have never coded anything in my life!!) the home page. I reached out to a handful of producers on Friday so hopefully one will get back to me at least. It feels amazing!!!
Sailing a keelboat with a crew of n00bs. I taught them what to do, they did it, it went well and we all had a great time.
I calmly confronted my now-ex-husband and now-ex-best friend on their affair. You see, they thought I didn’t know. Ex-bestie starts the waterworks and the “I’m so sorrys,” to which I responded with simply, “I’m just sorry that I spent so long thinking you both were better than you actually are.” And I left.
It was one of my finer moments.
Whenever people ask about an obscure movie/show/actor and I immediately know the answer lol
I’ve been training Krav Maga for many years, but even though I’m in great shape I look like the almost 40 yo I am lol. A few years ago I was out in the city, when I saw my young coworker (20 yo) in the bar, surrounded by big adult dudes and she was looking very scared. I walked over and completely took control of the situation. Greeted her and asked her to our table, ignoring the dudes and guiding her past them in a firm, but calm manner.
One of the dudes grabbed me by my arm to stop us, and I just looked up at him and said completely calm “Is that your way of asking me to take this outside or are you gonna let me the eff go” and I held eye-contact while patiently awaiting his response. He let go, and we walked to the table where my friends were at. I was sober, so later I drove her home with no incident.
I felt in control, powerful and I really wanted to beat the ever-loving out of that guy, but without him instigating I would risk losing my job.
I might have had to endure that micro-assault stuff when I was younger, but on the rare occasion I go out I’m not taking any of that anymore. Not choosing the bear or the man, am choosing violence and they get to choose to engage me or not, eff that.
(The rest of my life is pretty boring, so this is my one moment and nothing this exciting will ever happen again lol)
I and a few other women reported a man who had repeatedly crossed (several) boundaries with us and who knows how many women at work. He was a misogynistic creep, who sexually harassed whichever – preferably young and new – employee he could and who used his seniority and power to shut people up. It had been going on for years and the people who had been there for years jokingly warned the new women about him. He was absolutely horrible and no one ever held him accountable.
HR didn’t care, protected his reputation but did end let him go under the excuse of him wanting to seek new adventures – most probably just to protect the company’s reputation. Basically, only our reputations were stained. At that point I felt pretty powerless.
That “new adventure” soon turned out to be a job offer as head of HR for a major company – a company so big that the media made a big fancy fluff piece out of it, resulting in us and apparently a LOT of other women finding out about the new job he was about to have. So we all called the company and told on him.
He was fired before he even started. Then, I felt pretty powerful.
I was on the subway with my partner, and we were both watching as this curmudgeon of a crone was accosting a young First Nations woman with her young child – completely unprovoked. It was completely abhorrent.
I stood up and stood in between them (the ghoul was sitting, the young lady was standing) and just chatted with her while I had my ass to the woman’s face. I gave her some comfort and support, and stood with her until it was her stop.
I was just *so* mad at that senior. It was that young lady’s first time using the subway in the city too. I can only hope that I was able to temper the memory a bit for her.
When I convinced myself to cut my nails short after a situationship ended. I called it my version of Britney shaving her head. 😀
When I took a management and leadership course which involved a series of team projects so everyone had a chance to work with everyone else. On the last day of the course the instructor handed everyone a ballot and asked us to vote for a fellow student who we thought was deserving of the leadership award. Who we would gladly drop everything for to follow into battle.
I won the award. Then later I had a good cry alone in my car.
Everytime I watch videos of guys trying period pain simulators.
It was a really hot day, and I was driving until I saw on the other lane a groggy bird trying to fly but loses his balance. There was a bus approaching it but thankfully it was far away and I waved at it to stop. I put the poor unconscious bird in my car and was driving to the nearest animal shelter. The bird woke up while I was on the way and freaked out, I let him out of the window and saw him fly away.
This was over 20 years ago, and I was in a relationship with an older man (I 18f, he was 31). While he had never physically hurt me, there had been 2 instances where we argued and he said “I’m going to kick your ass”. I mostly felt as if these were empty threats as we were almost the same height (though I was a little bit taller) and while I was a bit on the slim side, I was also strong. Finally we had another argument where he made that same threat- and I came un-glued. I had been in the bathroom getting ready for work and something about that third threat of violence- I snapped. He was laying on one of those hide-a-bed couches that was very heavy, watching TV. The way our apartment was set up was that the back of said couch was facing you at an angle as you came into the living room from the bathroom. Well, I went sprinting out of the bathroom headed straight for the couch, and kicked the bottom of the back of the couch so hard it slid forward an inch or two on carpet and tipped forward and nearly over- with him on it. Once the couch settled and stopped moving, I leaned over the back of the couch, put my face inches from his and hissed at him through snarling, gritted teeth “If you EVER say that to me AGAIN- YOU BETTER DO IT, OR I’M KICKING YOURS!!!” You should have seen the look on his face. It wasn’t just one of surprise. He genuinely looked scared, and knew I was not to be threatened. Ever. The relationship obviously didn’t last long after that. But he never said that to me again while we were together. I was young and stupid, at the time. But it was an empowering feeling knowing that I definitely had and still have it in me to do everything I can to not be a victim anymore. I know that part is not always in our control, and I don’t mean any disrespect to those who have been victims of any type of abuse. But I know for me and who I am, I will fight to my death if necessary.
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When I left my controlling husband. Losing his grip, he threatened suicide, I just said I’d call the police. Best decision I ever made.
Broke up with my boyfriend of three years at 18. He pursued me relentlessly to get back together despite my telling him I didn’t want that at all. When I informed him I was moving out of town to go to uni he said “but what about me?”
“What about you?”
Felt great.
The one time I used my junior-lifeguard training to actually save some guy’s life back when I was twelve. I was kind of amazed I remembered what to do. Grab the side of the pool, offer a leg. (And then get pulled under really hard unexpectedly and get half the pool up my nose, but…it worked out).
I have a couple:
-I was 12 when I had my first “relationship” (I admitted my feelings over Facebook messenger to a local neighborhood kid, we met in the woods, we kissed) it was the summer before 8th grade for me and 9th for him. In the days following our woods rendezvous he started texting me asking for a picture. I texted him a selfie (this was 2009) and he replied asking for one with my shirt off. I knew it was wrong and I didn’t want to do it but he kept pushing for pictures of my boobs until finally I told him it was over because I was uncomfortable that he kept asking. I look back and I’m so proud of little baby 12 year old me for putting my foot down and not letting a boy pressure me into it and share those pics with god knows who.
-I briefly dated my best friend in our local hobby community this time last year. He got drunk at a party one night and did something to me of an aggressive sexual nature WITH our friends in the same room, something I had already told him to never do to me again. He immediately realized he fucked up but after a couple days of shock and mourning I ended the relationship and told him to stay away. He promptly left the hobby and the friend group and will never return. I guess I felt powerful because I made sure he faced the consequences of his actions and didn’t let him get away with it.
-every time I get to be blunt, firm, and/or scary with a man that has done me wrong in some way or another. Exes that try to come back and me shutting them down. Good stuff lol.
A friend of my ex recently came into my place of work and gave me such a warm welcome. He was genuinely happy to see me and to see that I look much better than I did when he last saw me. He was no longer friends with that person once he found out what he did to me, and he dropped the best bit of info I could have never asked for.
My ex is terribly afraid of me. Good. He needs to know what it’s like to be afraid all the time.
I was on jury duty must be 30 years ago, for a woman who was arrested for harassing a woman going into planned parenthood. I think she had hurt the woman in some way. The rest of the jury wanted to let her off, but abortion was legal at the time, and planned parenthood offered a lot of other services. The other jurors thought the defendant was ‘just standing up for her beliefs’, but I wouldn’t back down. One of the guys said, “boy, you’re a little pit bull, aren’t you?”
I’ve been proud of that for a lot of years, but these days, I would probably be the one arrested.
in the Tek Box I was half naked and I was at the front of the stage, the lights projected on me, truly incredible to experience
When I went NC or LC with a lot of my family members.
I realized I’m a married adult who owns her own car, I pay all my own bills, and I don’t rely on them for shit anymore. I didn’t have to put up with their bs anymore.
I felt free, and so powerful
When my life got a zillion times better having walked away from certain people. They absolutely thought I’d crash & burn … no doubt they sure hoped I would. I didn’t, but they did. Their lives are still shit and they’re still miserable toxic people.
At the age of 23, I decided that I felt held back in life and couldn’t evolve into the woman I so desperately wanted and needed to be because I convinced myself that the man I was with was “it” and we were bound to be “soul mates”/forever “high-school sweethearts”.
Once I told him I wanted a divorce, of course he begged me to stay, threw out all the cards, “I’ll be better!”, “I promise I’ll do X,Y,Z!” and the one I had begged to do with him for years, “we can do couples counseling” – at that, I finally had it. I yelled at him, “I DO NOT CARE. I DON’T care! It’s too late!”. His true colors showed after that with verbal abuse and physical threats.
There was something so.. invigorating and freeing in that moment. For 8 years I had begged for the most minute and/or basic contributions to our relationship, and he wasn’t even will to compromise. It felt good that even though it was just a blip in the divorce, he got to see for a moment how fed up I was with everything.
Last year, I Moved out of my marital home after being mistreated for two years. I couldn’t shake feeling like i had failed miserably after what I thought was such a happy marriage, fell apart. Shortly after, my birthday rolled around and it would be my first that my husband didn’t celebrate with me. On my birthday, I didn’t tell anyone and drove two states away and decided to spend the day climbing a mountain solo. I raced up the entire thing and did it unbelievable record time (for me) despite not being in the best shape-physically or emotionally. It was one of the most healing experience I’ve ever had. The gift I needed in that moment was to remind myself that I am strong.
When I saw my ex husband at his grandmothers funeral. He had left me suddenly (cheated and left me for her)…. His family was so happy to see me after so long. I looked great and was doing well in my life, while he looked haggard af and his gf hid in the corner from me.
I rode a guy for the first time, and I could see his brain malfunction. He acted completely different from the other times we had been intimate.
I got scammed at a car dealership. I bought an electric vehicle that was supposed to have about twice the range the one i purchased had. I took it back like “this isn’t what i paid for” and the guy was basically like “no take-backs!”
My ex and his whole family show up to “support me”. They’re making a scene and talking about calling the news and the cops and blahblah. The guy is just amused by it all and genuinely enjoting how mad theae people are that he screwed over a 22 year old woman.
I went outside to calm down and look into the specifications of the vehicle and the language around the battery life. I went back inside, sat down, and calmly expressed the fact that the vehicle is being advertised as having x battery life for however many years. If this vehicle had only had y battery life after only a year, he is going to have MUCH bigger problems than just me.
They bought the used car back at full price and sent me home with a heavily discounted brand new car. And my ex’s family became respectfully terrified of me because my “calmly informing you of the consequences of your behavior” voice is apparently utterly chilling.
I was 17 and witnessed a school bus run off the a country road & roll over in a ditch. The engine was smoking & it was lying on the side with the door. This was the late 80’s & pre cell phone so I kicked in the windshield, went inside & helped injured kids out. Kicking that windshield in made me feel like a super hero. I put the more seriously injured kids in my car & when EMS arrived, I went on to work.
A man threatened ! to hit me in a real estate negotiation. His daughter, wife, and the dog ran off. I didn’t blink. I thought if he hits me I win. He sat down. I sold the house. He told me he was sorry. That I was being an asshole. I sold the house. I had kids in college. I sold the house.
Getting a full range pull up. It’s extraordinarily difficult and something that must be worked toward. It feels absolutely amazing when it happens. It’s estimated that about 5% of women can currently do one.
One time a boy was chasing my older sister around the playground. She hid behind me and told me that she wanted him to stop. He came up to me and I looked him in the eye and growled at him. He didn’t bother her again.
Stay weird, friends.
It was when a former roommate (horrible woman), yelled, “Fuck you!” at me when she was renting a room in the house that my husband and I own. (Literally our master bedroom so we were displaced into the living room bc we got her out of an abusive relationship)
I whirled around, straightened my entire posture and told her, “Fuck me? NO. You do NOT get to tell me fuck you in my own house. I let you live here for $300/month, My name is on the MORTGAGE, I OWN this house.”
She already had a 2 month eviction notice before this and didn’t speak a word to me over a whisper for the remaining month. She knew she couldn’t say or do anything to me
When I gave birth! It was a totally wild mind/body experience for me that I’d never had before (and never will again, as I’m one and done).
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I was 17 and had been dating my bf for a few months. It was graduation weekend and for the past 2-3 months I had just been staying with my bf while my mom was out of town for work. My moms (now ex) husband had been molesting me since I was in the fourth grade and with my sister now states away in college it would just be me him and my little brother at home. I couldn’t stand being there any longer but was too scared of my mother’s reaction if I did fully decide to move out. She was home this weekend to watch me graduate but after the whole ceremony and watching my bf walk across stage (he was failing when we started dating at the beginning of senior year but he worked really hard so he could graduate with me, I’m still immensely proud of him) I decided to finally “move in” with my bf. I’m autistic and terrible at verbal communication,especially with my mom. After the ceremony when everybody was going home, a mix of my family and my bfs were gathered around talking but it was time to leave. I had to choose whether I’d go “home” with my mom or go home with my bf. I started saying goodbye to my family, waiting to hug my mom last so I could tell her directly “I’m going home now” and leaving with my bf.
The next few weeks she flipped out a bit about me not staying with them and after that her relationship with her husband started to shift. I think I caused her to finally snap out of her denial of our whole situation and realize how much her husband had hurt all of us. They started fighting more and it was clear that divorce was inevitable. My mom divorced him a year later and started dating their recently divorced neighbor. Mom got her dream house in the country that’s still only a 10-15min drive from me and is paying for my therapy just like she said she would all throughout my childhood lol. I’ve been with my bf for almost 4 years now and have only recently started healing enough to realize I get to actually LIVE now and not just “survive”.
Getting my iud
Every now and then I have this personal revelation of the power that I have. I think of the times that I decided I wanted something to happen and it happened. Sometimes because I made it happen specifically, but often because I made myself open to the possibility and leaned into the experiences that would help to create it. It might not always end up exactly like I expected, but it ends up the way it should be.
Every time I had PR when lifting weights. My best was a 265# deadlift. Lifting and exercise in general makes me feel powerful but lifting PRs in particular are special because it’s a culmination of training, eating, and rest. Included/adjacent to this is when I did a “real” push up and a full pull up.
I was at a friend’s apartment and I heard yelling outside from another neighbor/friend. I looked out the back door and saw she was being assaulted by her boyfriend. I just grabbed a broom and charged out there like Braveheart or something. I didn’t think, just reacted. He fled and she was super grateful. After all that I noticed she was only in a bra and a skirt.
She lived on the 3rd floor, and I was on the 1st, so he beat her down 2 flights of stairs like that. They thankfully broke up after that.
I changed the oil in MY truck.
When I take walks at night in my safe neighborhood it’s really a power trip every time
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I was rolling extra hard and it was in between sets at day 2 of Okeechobee festival 2017, Flume had just finished and I was super turnt up. My squad had stopped by the picnic tables in front of the NOW stage to regroup. I was still dancing and feeling myself mightily. All of a sudden I hear a round of applause and everyone was laughing and cheering….apparently the line of police left the area since I was too “distracting” and they got to bring out their party favors. I remain just as, if not more, turnt up today because I realized twerking truly does changes things. I dare you to bust one, right now, and see how you feel afterwards. But don’t force it, jeezuz.
I took a toy from a baby. I got in line at a grocery store and in front of me was a teething toddler chewing on a plastic grocery bag. I did not confront the parents who were in front of the cart. I took the plastic bag and pretended it was a game. Smiled and made funny faces at the baby. It didn’t cry, it seemed slightly shocked. The parents looked back and gave me a dirty look like, why did you take that from my child? But they didn’t confront me. We all went on with our day.
I feel like I did the right thing, that baby could have choked on the plastic bag. I did not need to berate the parents, but I hope someday they understood why I did it.
It was three years ago; I was subjected to harassment from a group of men who were jealous of me. They tried to make me look bad; I stood up to them and reversed the cards on them showing that they are were wrong. When I reported the harassment to a member of management who was a women, she told me that some times, we just have to take it. I said the f I do.. and started applying for new jobs.
I found an executive role as a competitor that paid me more money and also had a much better work culture.
I had 5 weeks of vacation; which I took and gave notice the day I returned from that very long vacation.
When my ex (who lived together with me) of 4 years faked a work trip and broke up with me via text the day he was supposed to come back. I was devastated but I rebuilt my life and myself after 2 months and felt surprisingly okay after that.
When I left my husband, I was a stay at home mom with an 8 year old and 5 year old. We had to move back in with my parents. My ex had become an addict and I left to raise my kids with no money at all.
I worked my ass off with very little to show for it. My kids would see their friends go on vacations things like that and it broke my heart that I couldn’t do it. They wanted to see the beach and it became my goal to take them.
The 25th of this month was my 40 birthday and I spent it in Florida at the beach with them. I have never been happier. I did it.
I was a poker tournament staff member, and we were having a big all-casino employee party. There was a free poker tournament with $200 cash for first place. Everyone was eliminated except for me and this guy Joel from Marketing. I generously offered to split it with him, since I was a much better and more experienced player. He said he thought he could beat a girl. My teammates laughed at him. So we continued playing and I absolutely wiped the floor with him in just a few hands. I got the full $200 and Joel got zero.
I went into my therapy appointment this last week, and I told my therapist I was worried I use too much of each appointment to complain to her. I was starting to feel whiny. She told me, no, that I was the strongest woman she’s ever met.
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walking away from something that no longer served me, quietly and without explaining myself
Gave birth.
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