also, is dating more difficult as you get older?
how do younger women put themselves out there more ????
women over 30 that are still single, do you regret not putting yourself out there more when you were in your 20s? why? why not?
r/AskWomen
also, is dating more difficult as you get older?
how do younger women put themselves out there more ????
Comments
I absolutely do not regret it. Not centering men and relationships got me every thing I’ve ever wanted. My long term relationships were fine, but marked by my sacrificing my dreams for theirs. My relationship from age 28-32, we spoke a lot about marriage. But he hated that I was going to school and working in a demanding field (he was unemployed so he enjoyed my money but wanted me to somehow pay for rent AND be around him all the time). After years of not wanting children he decided he wanted them, wanted to move from our city to the tiny town his parent lived in and have the exact life we’d agreed we’d never want. After that I stopped dating to build my career and travel. I am now 36, live in a small but cool city, and there are plenty of men that want to date. But my standard is: add to my life don’t take from it. And I’m finding they have a hard time with that. So yes dating is difficult BUT it’s only because my life is so good it’s difficult to improve upon.
The sad thing is I did, and still did not end up where I thought I would be but I guess that’s just life in general
yes and yes.
as for the why, because I’m still single, I want to be a mother, but can’t even have a date. and it reached the point that I’m planning to be a single mother with artificial insemination
100%. I wish I’d been brave enough to walk away from the relationship that wasn’t serving me in any way and totally enjoyed being young, carefree and had way way wayyyy more fun.
Dating is hella difficult now because my kids are my priority and I have a difficult domestic situation (because of the aforementioned relationship)
I regret this a lot. I come from a culture where parents choose the girl’s whole life. From what she will wear to what she will eat to who she will sleep with for the rest of her life. Somehow it never occurred to me that life changes in flip of a second. I started dating in my 30s and everything people learn in their 20s about themselves through relationships, im learning now. So yes, im way too behind and relationships are challenging for me because i haven’t been in too many like i should have. Big regret. I encourage young girls to date to get to know themselves and their needs and wants better because you can work on yourself in isolation for years and yet there are certain things you will only find out about yourself in a romantic intimate relationship. Start early.
Yes
Nope. If I did, I probably have children now and more likely a single mom. I was young and naive, so thank God for growth and maturity.
I still had fun. Dated cute and hot guys who I thought exist only in movies 🤣
I haven’t been single a second since I first started dating so I can’t answer the first question. But for the second one, oh, that I know.
No. Its not more difficult to date as we get older.
There’s plenty of interesting and interested people to meet.
What is going to get more difficult with time is developing social skills you don’t possess. So go fora theatre class or participate in your workplace toastmasters. – or even better – do stand up comedy and learn to be laughed at. It makes everything in life easier
Lots of women put themselves out there in their 20s but didn’t end up with the right person. No one can predict when they will meet the person meant for them. It’s just luck. That’s it. Let stop with the narrative that all women who are single in the 30s or later did something wrong…. missed an opportunity, or are to blame.
I’m about to turn 30.
It’s funny because I don’t want what a lot of my contemporaries have- very boring, mediocre,sexist marriages. So in that way I feel very lucky.
But I wish I could have found someone I liked/loved.
I love my independence and peace.
I do feel a little behind on the relationship front. I feel very inexperienced. Ideally I would have dated (a little) mostly just to understand myself, what I want in a relationship and what I can give someone in return.
I come from a South Asian -Muslim background where arranged marriages are common. I defo don’t want that. Since become irreligious, I would need to find someone who fits a very narrow criteria.
So yea. I wish I could find someone for myself earlier. But I also don’t have a “one that got away” either.
Yes, wish I had more time to understand relationships better. Now I am way behind in relationships but then again, I know a lot of people who have been in a lot of relationships and they are all single. So I would probably be in the same place I am now
Why are you assuming women that are “still single” didn’t put themselves out there?
I wish I could have a bit. A lot of my 20s was spent during Covid and due to my disability, I have to stay sheltered for longer amounts of time.’my bigger regret though is not moving to an lgbt friendly place. I could have spent my 20s happier and free instead of afraid and in the closet.
I’m not able to move at the moment due to family obligations, but I’m looking forward to the day I can finally be free even if it is in my 30s.
I’m still single and I did put myself out there. Too many bad relationships I’ve been single for 4.5 years now.
(About to be 30 in a handful of months)
Absolutely not. The very little I did put myself out there, I got traumatised. It’s honestly not worth it.
The only thing that gives me FOMO is death and the end of the world. Like “did I do enough before everyone gets blown to pieces by AI nukes in WWIII”
In terms of actual life, 20s vs my impending 30s, no. I don’t subscribe to the belief I had to do everything in my 20s. I have no plans on having kids, no plans on getting married, and I really right now prioritise my mental/physical health.
I’m not sacrificing the important stuff – building myself – for a relationship. I certainly did a lot of that twice over in my 20s and I deeply regret that.
Self comes first, because you’re the only body and brain you’re gonna get. Might as well try to treat it well 🙂
I dated in my teens and 20s, which is now why I choose to stay single. Its not worth the stress, aggravation, and disappointment. I tried dating a year and a half ago and it quickly reminded me why I prefer being single. I like being single so much
No, I actually wish I had de-centered men from my life sooner and focused more on other things. I’m happier now and more at peace in my 30s, having now been single and celibate for 2+ years. I’m open to meeting the right person but I don’t feel the need to actively pursue dating, I’m just living my life and I feel like I’ll naturally meet the right person through luck and timing at some point, but I’m not in a rush because my life is fulfilling as is. I will say I am fortunate I don’t want kids because this also means I have no biological clock ticking or need to meet anyone by a certain age or time.
I met and dated 2 men in my twenties who I thought I might marry. They both dated me while seeing other women for over a year.The second time was worse than the first; I was the “side chick”.
I’ve had one loving relationship afterwards. That’s a great accomplishment.
Who’s to say they didn’t put themselves out there? Dating is often so much more than that
As a woman in her 20s: it doesn’t matter how much I “put myself out there” or try. No one wants me.
I’m early 30s – I wish I walked away from bad relationships sooner when I was younger instead of trying to fix things or making them better. So yes, I want to be married with kids now but can’t fathom even talking to men atm 🥹
Yes. I wish I didn’t listen to the “men are hunters” cause the anthropological truth is that 50% of women back in the day were hunters too. Absolutely nothing wrong with shooting your shot and aproaching guys too. Tons of videos online on how to do this with randos you see on the street or at a bar. Aproach anyone you find attractive
I think my biggest regret is not putting myself out there to date women. I am 35 this year and back when I was younger it was still pretty taboo to be queer. It seems less so now for the younger generations, at least where I live, in a large city on the west coast of Canada. I have always been interested in dating women, but never really gave it a good go. Just gave in to compulsory heterosexuality.
Bcz of my childhood trauma I was a serial monogamist all through my twenties, jumping from one long term relationship right into a new one because I was scared to be alone. And it is much easier to find men to date than it is to find women, plus all the cultural scripts we have around heterosexual relationships make it really easy.
Anyways, spent the last 10 years in a monogamous relationship with a man only to fall in love hard and very unexpectedly with a woman. I didn’t realize how much I had been missing by putting up with men who can’t name their emotions let alone support me emotionally when I need it. Then the woman died unexpectedly and my whole life fell apart so that’s been a fun ride.
I can’t say whether or not dating is more difficult because I haven’t given it a go yet, but I know I have zero interest in the apps. They seem like a lot more work than they’re worth, and looking through a human catalogue feels so artificial. I would prefer to meet people organically than try to force a connection, so that’s where I’m at.
I was in a long term relationship for most of my twenties that was not the healthiest but I experienced a lot of personal growth that I wouldn’t have, had I stayed home with my parents with differing values. I had some fun dating for a few years and then found myself in another relationship in my early 30’s. While that relationship was freeing in a lot of ways, I still found that I was putting others before myself in a very unhealthy way. Mid 30s now, I’m in no rush to find anyone while I learn to value myself like I do others. I don’t think dating gets more difficult, in fact it seems easier now. We know we want/need with a little more certainty. With that said, I will be more particular when I do decide to date again. I don’t want to wait for my partner to become the person they want to be (again). I want them to meet me where I’m at and I want us both to add value to each other’s lives and encourage growth together.
I dated A TON in my 20’s and still ended up single in my 30’s. It’s not always about not putting yourself out there enough lol. Life just doesn’t always happen the way you want it to.