I’m low contact and moved away from them, but no contact with my husband’s family. It’s been amazing. I’ve never been happier in my life. I feel so free. We’re child-free, despite them pressuring us for kids, we’re financially stable and independent, we have an awesome apartment, a dog and a cat, and we are living the dream. And best part? My husband is my best friend and I love his presence so much. We crave each other like crazy, even after being together for so long. And a lot of that is because we stopped letting our families dictate how we feel and what we do.
There are days that are lonely but the loneliness is not as painful as enduring constant verbal and psychological abuse. I now living in peace and am not hyper vigilant whenever I hear a small noise or run into stress, it took five years to calm my nervous system like that though and a lot of therapy
I moved out on my 20th birthday and ever since then, my mom continuously finds ways to contact me via friends or people who happen to know me. I went to the hospital recently and got a bunch of random calls. They were all from students I used to teach and my mom used their phones to call and text me. Then, when she had my number, she had her friends text me to tell me that I was the worst person on the planet for doing this to her. The next day, I found out that she lied about how I ended up in the hospital and said that my husband hit me so hard that I had a seizure. So….somehow she always finds a way but I’m starting to not let it bother me I guess.
its been a little more than 5 years since i went no contact with my mom after she threw me out of her house on mothers day (which is coincidentally also the day after my birthday) because the $80 flowers i got her werent “special enough”
i still get flashbacks sometimes, but theyre happening less often lately.
after doing a lot of therapy one thing that has helped a lot is i try to do one thing for myself everyday (like reading or taking a bath) even tho i feel like its wasting time sometimes…chiseling out time for self-care was hard to do but i am more productive and happier in day to day life if i do take that time.
So much better that I mentally have a separation of those two periods of my life – before nc and after nc, and after nc is nicknamed “life 2.0”. Its like a rebirth, as dramatic as that sounds. I discovered who I actually am, realized so much of my unhappiness came from not knowing how to meet my own needs and worked on that, and only include good kind people in my life now. I get to build a life doing whatever I want, pursue every dream I have, and am overall a much much happier person that people from my old life might not even recognize me anymore.
I mean I’m out of the frying pan I suppose. But I’m still sad and alone. I guess it’s better than being constantly burned. It’s difficult to learn normal relating to yourself and others when you grew up in dysfunction. Life isn’t fair and other people had way way better lives than me. But this is mine so I try to embrace it to the best of my ability even if things aren’t ideal.
I travel the world, drive a nice car, live in a nice home, I have a good support group and amazing husband. I’d say I’m doing better than they are. Sister is a homeless drug addict, father is a homeless drug addict too, mom is an unhappy alcoholic and hates her marriage, brother is stuck in an abusive relationship and unhappy (he basically married our mother). Meanwhile I take international trips yearly, sometimes with my older sister. We are both very close. She’s the only family I keep in contact with and we both agree the family is nuts.
I went low contact 2011. Then after unnecessary shit and avoidable heartbreak, I went completely no contact 2022. I should’ve gone no contact 2011. Moving states definitely helped. I have a job I really enjoy and have been married almost 5yrs to my sweetest and greatest love. Life is definitely more peaceful.
Still mourn them as if they were dead, happy and better off being no contact though. I have residual trauma from it all, of course, so that’s fun. Deal with that as best I can. The most annoying part is probably fielding questions from people who don’t understand how my parent is alive yet I don’t have a relationship with them. That really perplexes some judgmental people who’ve never experienced abuse, and I find that particularly frustrating.
I escaped a foster family and their Mormon church who were emotionally and financially abusive, plus one incident of borderline sexual abuse. I escaped and went no contact just as soon as I could.
I ended up going head down for my education, got my Masters degree, landed my dream job, got promoted, got a phenomenonal SO who I’m marrying next month. I’m doing great!
I got out five years ago and the entire first year I had recurrent nightmares of being trapped back in the house I grew up in with my toxic father.
The first few years were very hard emotionally. I went no contact with my father and the following year my mother and grandmother passed (my two biggest rocks in my life). I spent the entire first year after their passing extremely depressed and traumatized. Right around the first anniversary of my mother’s passing I sought extensive psychotherapy alongside ketamine infusions and it dramatically transformed my life and mental wellbeing.
The last two years I have truly embraced myself in a way I never thought possible. I have healed from a lot of the trauma and have taken back my life. I am no longer what happened to me. I have the power to create the life that I want and I am actively building it.
There are times when the weight of what I don’t have is really heavy. I let myself feel it, move through it. Each time I find it hurts less and I move on faster.
I’m on year 5 of therapy and year 3 of no contact. I’ll be in therapy for a long time still. I am not okay. But I’m doing miles better than I was when they were still in my life
I’ve been free from my family and no contact for exactly a year and 3 months. I have found myself saying “I didn’t know life was actually enjoyable outside of the movies” and “now I get why people actually want to live” over and over again. I have had chronic illness my entire adult life and almost died from it multiple times and for the first time in my life I’m getting healthy. I know it’s because I’m finally free from them. I miss what I always hoped family to be. I grieve that they haven’t tried to find me or reach out, but I also see it as a blessing. They don’t know where I moved to and I know it’s for my best. For the first time in my life I have a hope of a life well lived, a life no longer bed ridden or in constant pain, and a life filled with people I love who I know in the deepest places of my soul love me and want me in their lives completely as I am.Freedom is such a beautiful thing.
Overall, pretty good. No contact for 3+ years with my mother and about 10 years with my father.
There are sad days when I need to remind myself that I’m longing for a parental relationship that never existed. It’s usually hardest for me when I, for example, attend a friend’s wedding and I see their whole family and everyone loves each other and there are sooo many family members and it’s just such a beautiful time. I’ll never have that, but that’s just a reality that I’ve learned to accept. Some people won’t understand, they’ll make judgmental, stupid comments, like “they’re your parents” duh! My life is blissfully drama-free now, and although it’s an adjustment, I’m learning to be comfortable with being safe. I have a wonderful family and extended family on my spouse’s side that I’m forever grateful for, and I will not subject those people to my parents’ toxic, abusive insanity.
Holidays are just regular days now. I abhor anything to do with my friends family. I just opt out. I’ve heard countless friends say you’re lucky you don’t have a family. While 98% of the time it’s true, but I have no safety net. I’ve been NC since 1989. The school of hard knocks affected me until I was in my 30s, but I know what’s going on now. Overall it was probably the best thing that happened to me. My little brothers are still in that whirlwind and probably suffering from it. I was lucky and when I got abandoned I got lucky.
Went low contact and enjoying my I should say mental freedom! I still struggle with guilt though – I’m the eldest and a female so am expected to be the caregiver.
But the peace of mind is worth the guilt!
I wouldn’t say it’s like a switch flipped. It wasn’t instant. It was hard work. It took time and repetitive actions. Reassuring myself with affirmations.
Life is best lived without the life sucking people I’ve cut off.
It’s good. Moving halfway across the country helps too.
Every now and then if I get a text in the middle of the night, I wake up in a panic, positive that it’s going to be my mom cussing me out for being a terrible person who doesn’t care about family. But the vast majority of the time, I’m just going about my life and not thinking about them, which just feels so…normal? Like, I spent so much of my life trying to please two un-pleasable, abusive people that realizing I’ve just been going about my day trying to remember to go to the post office or trying to think of what to make for dinner is just a beautiful relief.
I went no contact with my mother and father, however my sisters they wanna heal and grow just like me so I have them still. Not having parents feels lonely and infuriating. My husband is so close with his family and they still have their cons and pros but they love him and show it . They’re also not toxic at all. I spent a lot of years wishing and wanting my mom to grow with me and respect my boundaries and love me in a way that made me feel loved. I realized I will never get that from her and I will not let her keep hurting me, stressing me. But I’m a peace now FINALLY
Mod note: please refrain from using mental health related terms or diagnostic labels casually.
Do not speculate, armchair diagnose, or label other people’s mental health situations; or use terms for mental health issues as judgments, slurs, or synonyms for toxic/abusive behaviour even when talking about yourself. More information about this rule can be found here.
If you’re referring to someone (yourself or others) who has been formally diagnosed by a medical professional, please make sure your comment reflects that.
No contact and it’s awesome. I’m disinherited, but not too broken up over it. No amount of money would be worth entertaining their toxic presence.
It was hard at first, if I’m honest, I drank a ton. But you can’t go forward with healing if you don’t pull the knife out of the wound. So it was with my family. It was heartbreaking knowing they only wanted me around if I let their abusive, homophobic asses treat me like a dog.
I’m over 5 years sober today with an awesome found family. My in laws are wonderful. I work in transitional housing and get to be there for younger women moving out from or going no-contact with their abusers. It brings me a lot of joy to write a happy ending to a sad story.
I went no contact the first time when I was 17. I went no contact for the last, permanent, time when I was 30.
I’m in my 60s now. The only thing I regret are the years between 17 and 30 when I kept trying and trying to find a way to peacefully coexist.
It’s rough the first 5 years, when you are struggling to fill the hole where family used to be, especially on holidays. But once you get through that, life is SO much better.
It’s going fine. I have a roof over myself head, money is tight, but I’m thankful. I grieve the family I never had. It’s still hard to think about my past. I’m not healed. The pain they put me through shaped me and set me back very far.
Luckily I have a very understanding and supportive partner. I have amazing friends and am part of some great communities. If I wasn’t so mentally ill I’d probably say things are going pretty good.
I never could have made the progress I have if I didn’t leave them. I’ve learned so much about myself.
I’ve been more me in the 3 years since than the 33 years before. So much so that I was weaned all my mental health meds, and my therapist said that we need to talk about the discharge process because I’m finally stable and can handle life without regular therapy.
It’s been amazing. I should have cut off all of them years ago. If I’m not communicating with them I don’t have to hear about how I’m an asshole because I won’t “loan” (give) people money or let them live in my house.
NC almost four years and never going back. Mourned them long ago. Quite certain will feel only relief when they shuffle off this mortal coil. VERY happily married to a truly good man. Life is peaceful and good.
Great. I’m over 60. Abusive parents. Went no contact at 25. Didn’t look back. I surround myself with people who are nice. Life is too short to spend it with people who don’t value you and treat you well.
I’ve been no contact for 6 years and it’s been a wild ride. Had to get an order of protection to stop my mom’s stalking me and abusing and ruining multiple housing situations I. I was homeless twice. But then I got my GED and attended Community College and then I got my associ. And now I’m at a fairly prestigious 4-year. I want to teach. When I was newly out of the situation I was deeply traumatized and angry and it drove me.
But anger can’t be your motivator forever. Eventually you have to do things because you want to do things. Want your life to matter. People get stuck in their bitterness but once you are in a position where your peace is protected you have to go about making the life you want for yourself. I understand why it’s scary because for so long you weren’t allowed to want. And you always have that devil on your shoulder that sounds like the people that harmed you saying you think you’re good enough for that? To which you say f yeah and f you.
I still miss both my parents a lot and would love to be able to have them in my life. It’s one of the very few things that make me really sad but well, it is what it is.
I cut contact with my abusive mother at 23. Spent 2 years in the same small town, not crossing her path. I made the decision to move to the other side of the world. 2 weeks before I left, her husband died. I heard down the grapevine and the day before I left I turned up at her house to offer my condolences, he was a good man. I told her I was leaving and that I forgave her and that this was goodbye. I never looked back.
I’ve built own family since I left. I’ve experienced things I never would have experienced under the conditions I was in previously. A world that felt terrifying can be beautiful. People are good.
I’ve used my experience to help others. I’m grateful because I wouldn’t be who I am if the things didn’t happen.
Yesterday, I literally just found an email screenshot from over 6 years ago where she “cut me off.” Mind you, I had been no contact for at least six months before that. 🤣
I went to therapy for three years and spent the last few years just focusing on what hobbies give me joy. I was done living inside myself and my trauma. It’s been really nice. The guys I used to be attracted to—emotional unavailable in EVERY sense of the word—are no longer attractive to me. I’m ready to put myself out there. No regrets.
Havent heard from that family member in years. Hope i never have to. Luckily the rest of the family respects our differences and does not force us to interact
Well, my extended family on both sides are extremely abusive. My direct family and I cut them all out of our lives when I was a teenager. We moved thousands of miles away, for good reason. I am very happy and doing well. But even 10 years later, they still try to contact me through any way possible 😕. We had restraining orders on them for a while.
It’s great. I’m genuinely happy, and I have no drama or actual stress in my life.
Once in a blue moon, I faintly wish that my family could not be crazy, and that we could be close and loving. But I know realistically it’ll never happen, and going no contact was the right decision for my mental wellbeing.
I went full NC with my biological father when I (41) was around my mid 20’s and I haven’t seen him since. Didn’t visit him when his alcoholic ass got himself the kind of cancer you get from decades of drinking, and didn’t go to his funeral either. I have no idea where he’s buried.
Going full NC was one of the best things I’ve ever done.
I left home at 15, ended up in foster care for a year, then got my own apartment at 16 and dropped out of school and worked 2 jobs to maintain my life. I have a phone relationship with my mother and my father died years ago. My husbands family became my family when I got married at 19 and they’re basically my only anchor. I’m 48 now. My family is my two grown kids and their partners, my mother in law and my husband of course. I have no regrets.
It’s weird. I don’t miss my family. But I still desperately miss the family I wish I’d had. The love, the support, the camaraderie, the village. I see it in so many people around me and feel such a deep longing.
I massively resent the person they turned me into. The insecurities they left me with. The feelings of being utter loveless and worthless. That I can’t seem to shake off no matter how hard i try.
I moved away at age 19. Im almost 30. The bulk of the tension is with my Mother, she was a bully and a very overbearing woman. Childhood was like living in solitary confinement. No tv, no friends, no art, no activities, just yelling, chores, an scriptures.
I was a good kid, honor student, no detentions, no suspensions, no sneaking out. But she was just a paranoid woman that went terrible when i hit puberty. I was molded as a trophy for her friends. The experience made me quite a hermit and a late bloomer.
I visited them less and less over the years. I dont call or text my Mother. My siblings do check on me but some remain under her thumb. I live a different life a happy life. I dont tell my family anything except that im okay. Im very private. They can only reach me by text/call. They dont know where i live, work, none of my ex boyfriends over the past decade, nothing about my social life, etc. Ive done therapy and have all of the books……they havent. So i keep my distance. Mother acts like she doesnt know why im this way toward her. The times ive tried to talk about it she mocked and laughed to get sympathy from others in the room.
It’s going pretty well I won’t lie. Got married, processed everything that happened in therapy, got a great job and learned to drive and did it all by myself.
I don’t really miss him anymore. I sometimes miss the potential of who he could be but he won’t ever be that person.
I’ve learned to really like who I am without him in my life.
It‘s very peaceful. No contact with my mother, low contact with the rest of the family. I found a new, very welcoming family in my husbands parents and his relatives.
Went no contact few months ago with emotionally manipulative family. There was a lot of drama, and I spent two months crying every week for no reason really. But I’ve been doing great every since. They were a major source of stress for me, and they cut me off since I moved countries as it was my fault to have a life. Finally realized that they’ll never change. I’ve never been this peaceful in life.
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I’m low contact and moved away from them, but no contact with my husband’s family. It’s been amazing. I’ve never been happier in my life. I feel so free. We’re child-free, despite them pressuring us for kids, we’re financially stable and independent, we have an awesome apartment, a dog and a cat, and we are living the dream. And best part? My husband is my best friend and I love his presence so much. We crave each other like crazy, even after being together for so long. And a lot of that is because we stopped letting our families dictate how we feel and what we do.
There are days that are lonely but the loneliness is not as painful as enduring constant verbal and psychological abuse. I now living in peace and am not hyper vigilant whenever I hear a small noise or run into stress, it took five years to calm my nervous system like that though and a lot of therapy
Went no contact with my emotionally abusive family. Life is a lot less stressful but it’s lonely too. It takes time to build a new found family.
I moved out on my 20th birthday and ever since then, my mom continuously finds ways to contact me via friends or people who happen to know me. I went to the hospital recently and got a bunch of random calls. They were all from students I used to teach and my mom used their phones to call and text me. Then, when she had my number, she had her friends text me to tell me that I was the worst person on the planet for doing this to her. The next day, I found out that she lied about how I ended up in the hospital and said that my husband hit me so hard that I had a seizure. So….somehow she always finds a way but I’m starting to not let it bother me I guess.
I joined to military to escape them. It was awful, but it was better than my childhood.
I went through years of therapy and learned a lot about CPTSD. I still get flashbacks but I manage them way better post-therapy.
its been a little more than 5 years since i went no contact with my mom after she threw me out of her house on mothers day (which is coincidentally also the day after my birthday) because the $80 flowers i got her werent “special enough”
i still get flashbacks sometimes, but theyre happening less often lately.
after doing a lot of therapy one thing that has helped a lot is i try to do one thing for myself everyday (like reading or taking a bath) even tho i feel like its wasting time sometimes…chiseling out time for self-care was hard to do but i am more productive and happier in day to day life if i do take that time.
Went no contact with my dad when I was 16. I’m 53 now. He died a few years ago and honestly, I felt nothing. No regrets.
So much better that I mentally have a separation of those two periods of my life – before nc and after nc, and after nc is nicknamed “life 2.0”. Its like a rebirth, as dramatic as that sounds. I discovered who I actually am, realized so much of my unhappiness came from not knowing how to meet my own needs and worked on that, and only include good kind people in my life now. I get to build a life doing whatever I want, pursue every dream I have, and am overall a much much happier person that people from my old life might not even recognize me anymore.
Its a dream.
I mean I’m out of the frying pan I suppose. But I’m still sad and alone. I guess it’s better than being constantly burned. It’s difficult to learn normal relating to yourself and others when you grew up in dysfunction. Life isn’t fair and other people had way way better lives than me. But this is mine so I try to embrace it to the best of my ability even if things aren’t ideal.
I travel the world, drive a nice car, live in a nice home, I have a good support group and amazing husband. I’d say I’m doing better than they are. Sister is a homeless drug addict, father is a homeless drug addict too, mom is an unhappy alcoholic and hates her marriage, brother is stuck in an abusive relationship and unhappy (he basically married our mother). Meanwhile I take international trips yearly, sometimes with my older sister. We are both very close. She’s the only family I keep in contact with and we both agree the family is nuts.
I went low contact 2011. Then after unnecessary shit and avoidable heartbreak, I went completely no contact 2022. I should’ve gone no contact 2011. Moving states definitely helped. I have a job I really enjoy and have been married almost 5yrs to my sweetest and greatest love. Life is definitely more peaceful.
Still mourn them as if they were dead, happy and better off being no contact though. I have residual trauma from it all, of course, so that’s fun. Deal with that as best I can. The most annoying part is probably fielding questions from people who don’t understand how my parent is alive yet I don’t have a relationship with them. That really perplexes some judgmental people who’ve never experienced abuse, and I find that particularly frustrating.
Moved out at 18, left the country at 25 and lost contact during covid. I can’t be in their and maintain my mental health. They are bad people
I escaped a foster family and their Mormon church who were emotionally and financially abusive, plus one incident of borderline sexual abuse. I escaped and went no contact just as soon as I could.
I ended up going head down for my education, got my Masters degree, landed my dream job, got promoted, got a phenomenonal SO who I’m marrying next month. I’m doing great!
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I got out five years ago and the entire first year I had recurrent nightmares of being trapped back in the house I grew up in with my toxic father.
The first few years were very hard emotionally. I went no contact with my father and the following year my mother and grandmother passed (my two biggest rocks in my life). I spent the entire first year after their passing extremely depressed and traumatized. Right around the first anniversary of my mother’s passing I sought extensive psychotherapy alongside ketamine infusions and it dramatically transformed my life and mental wellbeing.
The last two years I have truly embraced myself in a way I never thought possible. I have healed from a lot of the trauma and have taken back my life. I am no longer what happened to me. I have the power to create the life that I want and I am actively building it.
There are times when the weight of what I don’t have is really heavy. I let myself feel it, move through it. Each time I find it hurts less and I move on faster.
I’m ok, I mean I’m a mess, but I’m a better mess than I was when I was around my family.
I’m about to have to plan my life around trauma therapy.
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It’s going well until I see a movie with supportive parents. But the majority of the time, I’m fine.
I’m on year 5 of therapy and year 3 of no contact. I’ll be in therapy for a long time still. I am not okay. But I’m doing miles better than I was when they were still in my life
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I’ve been free from my family and no contact for exactly a year and 3 months. I have found myself saying “I didn’t know life was actually enjoyable outside of the movies” and “now I get why people actually want to live” over and over again. I have had chronic illness my entire adult life and almost died from it multiple times and for the first time in my life I’m getting healthy. I know it’s because I’m finally free from them. I miss what I always hoped family to be. I grieve that they haven’t tried to find me or reach out, but I also see it as a blessing. They don’t know where I moved to and I know it’s for my best. For the first time in my life I have a hope of a life well lived, a life no longer bed ridden or in constant pain, and a life filled with people I love who I know in the deepest places of my soul love me and want me in their lives completely as I am.Freedom is such a beautiful thing.
My life is significantly more peaceful. Good riddance ✌️
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Overall, pretty good. No contact for 3+ years with my mother and about 10 years with my father.
There are sad days when I need to remind myself that I’m longing for a parental relationship that never existed. It’s usually hardest for me when I, for example, attend a friend’s wedding and I see their whole family and everyone loves each other and there are sooo many family members and it’s just such a beautiful time. I’ll never have that, but that’s just a reality that I’ve learned to accept. Some people won’t understand, they’ll make judgmental, stupid comments, like “they’re your parents” duh! My life is blissfully drama-free now, and although it’s an adjustment, I’m learning to be comfortable with being safe. I have a wonderful family and extended family on my spouse’s side that I’m forever grateful for, and I will not subject those people to my parents’ toxic, abusive insanity.
Holidays are just regular days now. I abhor anything to do with my friends family. I just opt out. I’ve heard countless friends say you’re lucky you don’t have a family. While 98% of the time it’s true, but I have no safety net. I’ve been NC since 1989. The school of hard knocks affected me until I was in my 30s, but I know what’s going on now. Overall it was probably the best thing that happened to me. My little brothers are still in that whirlwind and probably suffering from it. I was lucky and when I got abandoned I got lucky.
Great other than the lingering health issues.
I’m low contact now instead of no contact but I have to maintain very strict both boundaries to keep it that way. it’s working right now.
I feel mixed. I want a father in my life but not an abusive one
Went low contact and enjoying my I should say mental freedom! I still struggle with guilt though – I’m the eldest and a female so am expected to be the caregiver.
But the peace of mind is worth the guilt!
At this point in my recovery, I’m comfortable.
I don’t miss people or what they’ve done.
I wouldn’t say it’s like a switch flipped. It wasn’t instant. It was hard work. It took time and repetitive actions. Reassuring myself with affirmations.
Life is best lived without the life sucking people I’ve cut off.
It’s good. Moving halfway across the country helps too.
Every now and then if I get a text in the middle of the night, I wake up in a panic, positive that it’s going to be my mom cussing me out for being a terrible person who doesn’t care about family. But the vast majority of the time, I’m just going about my life and not thinking about them, which just feels so…normal? Like, I spent so much of my life trying to please two un-pleasable, abusive people that realizing I’ve just been going about my day trying to remember to go to the post office or trying to think of what to make for dinner is just a beautiful relief.
I went no contact with my mother and father, however my sisters they wanna heal and grow just like me so I have them still. Not having parents feels lonely and infuriating. My husband is so close with his family and they still have their cons and pros but they love him and show it . They’re also not toxic at all. I spent a lot of years wishing and wanting my mom to grow with me and respect my boundaries and love me in a way that made me feel loved. I realized I will never get that from her and I will not let her keep hurting me, stressing me. But I’m a peace now FINALLY
Mod note: please refrain from using mental health related terms or diagnostic labels casually.
Do not speculate, armchair diagnose, or label other people’s mental health situations; or use terms for mental health issues as judgments, slurs, or synonyms for toxic/abusive behaviour even when talking about yourself. More information about this rule can be found here.
If you’re referring to someone (yourself or others) who has been formally diagnosed by a medical professional, please make sure your comment reflects that.
No contact and it’s awesome. I’m disinherited, but not too broken up over it. No amount of money would be worth entertaining their toxic presence.
It was hard at first, if I’m honest, I drank a ton. But you can’t go forward with healing if you don’t pull the knife out of the wound. So it was with my family. It was heartbreaking knowing they only wanted me around if I let their abusive, homophobic asses treat me like a dog.
I’m over 5 years sober today with an awesome found family. My in laws are wonderful. I work in transitional housing and get to be there for younger women moving out from or going no-contact with their abusers. It brings me a lot of joy to write a happy ending to a sad story.
I went no contact the first time when I was 17. I went no contact for the last, permanent, time when I was 30.
I’m in my 60s now. The only thing I regret are the years between 17 and 30 when I kept trying and trying to find a way to peacefully coexist.
It’s rough the first 5 years, when you are struggling to fill the hole where family used to be, especially on holidays. But once you get through that, life is SO much better.
It’s going fine. I have a roof over myself head, money is tight, but I’m thankful. I grieve the family I never had. It’s still hard to think about my past. I’m not healed. The pain they put me through shaped me and set me back very far.
Luckily I have a very understanding and supportive partner. I have amazing friends and am part of some great communities. If I wasn’t so mentally ill I’d probably say things are going pretty good.
I never could have made the progress I have if I didn’t leave them. I’ve learned so much about myself.
Hard. They still try to contact me.
Pretty good. Could be better, of course, but it’s certainly better than the alternatives. 💜
I’ve been more me in the 3 years since than the 33 years before. So much so that I was weaned all my mental health meds, and my therapist said that we need to talk about the discharge process because I’m finally stable and can handle life without regular therapy.
Fucken marvellous. I have peace, and serenity, and get to watch them crumble from the outside.
It’s been amazing. I should have cut off all of them years ago. If I’m not communicating with them I don’t have to hear about how I’m an asshole because I won’t “loan” (give) people money or let them live in my house.
Amazing and I wouldn’t want it any other way 🥹 I feel FREEEEE
No contact for about 6 years. I wish I had done it sooner. I feel no regret.
NC almost four years and never going back. Mourned them long ago. Quite certain will feel only relief when they shuffle off this mortal coil. VERY happily married to a truly good man. Life is peaceful and good.
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Great. I’m over 60. Abusive parents. Went no contact at 25. Didn’t look back. I surround myself with people who are nice. Life is too short to spend it with people who don’t value you and treat you well.
I’ve been no contact for 6 years and it’s been a wild ride. Had to get an order of protection to stop my mom’s stalking me and abusing and ruining multiple housing situations I. I was homeless twice. But then I got my GED and attended Community College and then I got my associ. And now I’m at a fairly prestigious 4-year. I want to teach. When I was newly out of the situation I was deeply traumatized and angry and it drove me.
But anger can’t be your motivator forever. Eventually you have to do things because you want to do things. Want your life to matter. People get stuck in their bitterness but once you are in a position where your peace is protected you have to go about making the life you want for yourself. I understand why it’s scary because for so long you weren’t allowed to want. And you always have that devil on your shoulder that sounds like the people that harmed you saying you think you’re good enough for that? To which you say f yeah and f you.
Sometimes finding your own family is better than blood related family. Fill your life up with friends, mentors, neighbours and other communities
I still miss both my parents a lot and would love to be able to have them in my life. It’s one of the very few things that make me really sad but well, it is what it is.
I cut contact with my abusive mother at 23. Spent 2 years in the same small town, not crossing her path. I made the decision to move to the other side of the world. 2 weeks before I left, her husband died. I heard down the grapevine and the day before I left I turned up at her house to offer my condolences, he was a good man. I told her I was leaving and that I forgave her and that this was goodbye. I never looked back.
I’ve built own family since I left. I’ve experienced things I never would have experienced under the conditions I was in previously. A world that felt terrifying can be beautiful. People are good.
I’ve used my experience to help others. I’m grateful because I wouldn’t be who I am if the things didn’t happen.
Yesterday, I literally just found an email screenshot from over 6 years ago where she “cut me off.” Mind you, I had been no contact for at least six months before that. 🤣
I went to therapy for three years and spent the last few years just focusing on what hobbies give me joy. I was done living inside myself and my trauma. It’s been really nice. The guys I used to be attracted to—emotional unavailable in EVERY sense of the word—are no longer attractive to me. I’m ready to put myself out there. No regrets.
Havent heard from that family member in years. Hope i never have to. Luckily the rest of the family respects our differences and does not force us to interact
Well, my extended family on both sides are extremely abusive. My direct family and I cut them all out of our lives when I was a teenager. We moved thousands of miles away, for good reason. I am very happy and doing well. But even 10 years later, they still try to contact me through any way possible 😕. We had restraining orders on them for a while.
It’s great. I’m genuinely happy, and I have no drama or actual stress in my life.
Once in a blue moon, I faintly wish that my family could not be crazy, and that we could be close and loving. But I know realistically it’ll never happen, and going no contact was the right decision for my mental wellbeing.
I’ve been no contact for ~11 years now.
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Pretty good. I moved out when I was 17 and have been so much happier since.
I went full NC with my biological father when I (41) was around my mid 20’s and I haven’t seen him since. Didn’t visit him when his alcoholic ass got himself the kind of cancer you get from decades of drinking, and didn’t go to his funeral either. I have no idea where he’s buried.
Going full NC was one of the best things I’ve ever done.
I left home at 15, ended up in foster care for a year, then got my own apartment at 16 and dropped out of school and worked 2 jobs to maintain my life. I have a phone relationship with my mother and my father died years ago. My husbands family became my family when I got married at 19 and they’re basically my only anchor. I’m 48 now. My family is my two grown kids and their partners, my mother in law and my husband of course. I have no regrets.
I feel free, but sometimes it’s hard to deal with not being supported or understood.
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It’s weird. I don’t miss my family. But I still desperately miss the family I wish I’d had. The love, the support, the camaraderie, the village. I see it in so many people around me and feel such a deep longing.
I massively resent the person they turned me into. The insecurities they left me with. The feelings of being utter loveless and worthless. That I can’t seem to shake off no matter how hard i try.
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I moved away at age 19. Im almost 30. The bulk of the tension is with my Mother, she was a bully and a very overbearing woman. Childhood was like living in solitary confinement. No tv, no friends, no art, no activities, just yelling, chores, an scriptures.
I was a good kid, honor student, no detentions, no suspensions, no sneaking out. But she was just a paranoid woman that went terrible when i hit puberty. I was molded as a trophy for her friends. The experience made me quite a hermit and a late bloomer.
I visited them less and less over the years. I dont call or text my Mother. My siblings do check on me but some remain under her thumb. I live a different life a happy life. I dont tell my family anything except that im okay. Im very private. They can only reach me by text/call. They dont know where i live, work, none of my ex boyfriends over the past decade, nothing about my social life, etc. Ive done therapy and have all of the books……they havent. So i keep my distance. Mother acts like she doesnt know why im this way toward her. The times ive tried to talk about it she mocked and laughed to get sympathy from others in the room.
Better
Haven’t spoken to my dad in like almost 10 years.
It’s going pretty well I won’t lie. Got married, processed everything that happened in therapy, got a great job and learned to drive and did it all by myself.
I don’t really miss him anymore. I sometimes miss the potential of who he could be but he won’t ever be that person.
I’ve learned to really like who I am without him in my life.
It‘s very peaceful. No contact with my mother, low contact with the rest of the family. I found a new, very welcoming family in my husbands parents and his relatives.
Went no contact few months ago with emotionally manipulative family. There was a lot of drama, and I spent two months crying every week for no reason really. But I’ve been doing great every since. They were a major source of stress for me, and they cut me off since I moved countries as it was my fault to have a life. Finally realized that they’ll never change. I’ve never been this peaceful in life.