Especially when it’s in a situation where you don’t owe anyone anything, but they abuse your kindness (like an entitled flatmate or abusive coworker)?
Women who previously let people walk over them, how did you grow to be more assertive?
r/AskWomen
Especially when it’s in a situation where you don’t owe anyone anything, but they abuse your kindness (like an entitled flatmate or abusive coworker)?
Comments
As a very non-confrontational person I’ve always avoided fighting back. Because I know I can’t win against someone who just doesn’t respect others. So I learned to turn around and walk away or just stay silent and stop indulging them. And if necessary I take conservative measures (like locking things away). That’s all I can do without jeopardizing my mental health.
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Trauma therapy was a must for me. Had to do a bunch of work to heal my scared inner child before I’d be able to stand up to people.
Honestly, it took me a long time and it wasn’t until I dated someone who really pushed me to my breaking point. After the breakup, I was so angry that I let someone walk all over me yet again that I basically refused to ever be treated that way by anyone ever again. I feel like I am now fueled by anger lol.
I dont use anger when standing up for myself but I just very matter-of-fact call people out for how they treat me.
I dont feel the need to change my core personality/values for anyone. I just change the people. Or I ignore them. You don’t need to like or get along with everyone you work with. I can be assertive and direct, but that isn’t fun and mentally stimulating for me.