I just haven’t ever seen the reasoning behind it. Wouldn’t everyone there just see it as an ego thing or something like that?
Women who wore white to a wedding, why?
r/AskWomen
I just haven’t ever seen the reasoning behind it. Wouldn’t everyone there just see it as an ego thing or something like that?
Comments
Because I was the bride, love.
Dear, the whole point of a wedding ceremony is ego. Also I was the bride.
The bride wasn’t wearing white, and white is a great color on me.
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I almost wore white when I was 12 because I didn’t know, thank goodness my mom taught me the etiquette. I’m sure it would have been fine, I was 12, but I’m glad I found out then, and not when I was 21 or 22 and just thought I had found a cute dress for it or something
There was an emergency. I look really good in white.
Because I was in my 20s and knew 0% about wedding culture. To be fair, the dress was white with blue flowers.
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I was 17 and had never been to a wedding before. No one cared at all. This was over ten years ago
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Been to over 30 weddings and in several of those. In 0 of them did the bride give a fuck about what color people wore.
When I was 18 I wore a white patterned dress to my cousin’s wedding. It wasn’t a wedding style dress at all but I’m still so embarrassed when I think about it.
It was the first wedding I had ever been to and I had never heard the rule before, it truly never crossed my mind. My parents had recently divorced and it was a cousin on my dad’s side of the family. When I asked my dad what to wear, he said “a nice dress” and the only nice dress I had was whiteish, so that’s what I brought. I flew in straight from college so I wasn’t getting ready with anyone.
Not sure if no one at the wedding noticed/cared, or if I was just completely oblivious to their reaction. Certainly no one has ever mentioned it to me. I only realized it years later, and decided at that point it would be weirder to call up my cousin to apologize than to just let it go.
Ugh…pressure. My only regret is wearing white. I want3d to wear black.
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Went to a wedding where the bride doesn’t wear white as per her culture. So it wasn’t odd if I and some other ladies wore white.
Well it was my wedding
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Because in my culture, the colour white doesn’t really matter or hold a prestige for the bride only. As a matter of fact there’s no oh don’t steal the spotlight from the bride
Actually though, I semi did. I was in a hot, rural place far from home. I had extremely limited options. I wore to the ceremony this horrible corset-esq situation (not white). It was not breathable, I was so uncomfortable, sweating, and had to do family photos. There was a 1 hour break in between the meal and the after party. I went back to the hotel room. All I had was this off-white, tan comfortable dress. My husband and multiple family members told me it didn’t look white at all and it was okay to go to the after-party like that. Sigh of relief until I got there. It most obviously was not okay. No one said anything to me but it just felt awful. I stayed for their first dance and got out of there so quickly.
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it was an indian wedding and you’ll literally never outshine the bride <3
I refurbished and modernized my mother’s wedding dress with the help of a friend.
Her dress was white, but had a giant red wine stain down the front when we pulled it out of the box. She “didn’t remember that happening”. Turns out, Oxyclean really does work and it was even whiter after we soaked it in the tub for 24 hours.
EDIT: I’m realizing the question is referring to wearing white to another wedding, not your own. But I’m leaving my comment.
I have never worn white to another person’s wedding. It’s actually my least favourite colour to wear in general.
It isn’t looked down upon in my culture because there’s nothing you could wear or do to ever outshine the bride, our weddings are huge and everything is bride and groom centred and it’s virtually impossible for a second white outfit to distract from that.
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I wore a cream colored skirt suit that had a rose chintz print all over it. Not white but a cream colored with a pattern. This was around 1988 and it was considered perfectly appropriate for a wedding. I was 18. No one spilled red wine on me or sneered at me.
Something feminine and springlike was normal wedding wear.
I was explicitly told to wear white as a guest because of the bride’s request. I still felt like I was doing something wrong. She wanted all guests to wear white for the cohesiveness in pictures.
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This was me, but I wasn’t trying to be a monster. I was probably 14-15 when my mom got me a white cocktail dress with blue flowers and a big blue stripe for some dance at school, and I wore it to my cousin’s wedding later that year (or the next). It was my first wedding where I wasn’t in diapers, and I honestly had no clue I should avoid white. I didn’t notice until a few years ago where I saw the group family picture from the wedding, and I saw myself in white. I am still embarrassed, but feel like it would be weird to say anything.
No one mentioned anything that night, and my family saw me at home before we left so I guess it at least met their approval. But on the opposite side, my mom can be a little oblivious so who knows what was said that night.
To be clear, I have never worn white to a wedding since, and I adore my cousin and didn’t mean to offend her in anyway.
I wore a white dress with hot pink flowers.
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It was an all-white wedding
My MIL and one of my grandmas wore black and white dresses, but they actually both showed me the dresses beforehand cause they were worried about the white underlays and accents, which I told them they did not have to do but I appreciated the thought. Then I told them how fabulous they looked in them and how if those dresses make them feel beautiful and confident, they BETTER wear them to the wedding, and they BETTER rock them! They did indeed both look fabulous.
When I was 9 I wore a dress that had lots of purple flowers on it with a purple sweater, it literally just had a white base.
Bride marrying my uncle still flipped out. They are now divorced.
I was young, didn’t know any better, and it was my nicest outfit. At least I buttoned a cardigan over it.
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I didn’t wear white but one of my close friends got married. A couple who her dad is friends with came (who he lived with at the time) came & the woman wore a white pantsuit with a flowy white shawl thing.
She was an older woman so I asked the brides sister “aw is that one of the grandparents?” She glared and said “nope” lmao. I thought the bride had coordinated it maybe. I believe it also had sequins. She also brought her yorkie dog. We all almost stepped on it multiple times on the dance floor. And she tried to get the mic from the DJ to make a speech. It was wild to experience lol.
I was 12 and everyone had received an invite to go to a “garden engagement party” celebration for my uncle and his new fiancée that no one knew about.
It was a cream top with a cream and flowered dress over… turns out the bride was really pregnant so, the “engagement party” turned into a wedding and all my cousins and I are in varying forms of cream or white with flowered dresses in pictures as it was supposed to be a garden theme party.
I did see a step MIL wear an ivory gown to my bf’s sister’s wedding.
It was… interesting and not just because of the dress.
I was the bride
I’ve been married for 34 years. Honestly never noticed what anyone wore to our wedding. Just had a fabulous time with family and friends. Recently looking at old wedding photos and realized that my sister’s partner (now wife) wore a white dress to my wedding. She was in all the family photos and would not have been mistaken for the bride (me) since it wasn’t even remotely “bridal” other than being white. It never occurred to me before reading all these Reddit posts that it was a major faux pas for her to have worn that dress. 😂 I can see not wearing something that truly looks bridal, or that appears to upstage the bride but some posts about not having ANY white or cream in a dress at all is kind of ridiculous imo.
I’m getting married in two weeks and I told my guest that no colours are off limits. Even white. As long as they feel comfortable and me and my fiance are enjoying our day, I don’t give a fuck what they have on.
Racism
I accidentally did. It was a short sleeveless button down white dress with colorful bjrds all over it. I really liked the cut and wore it to multiple events and just thought to wear it to a friends wedding. Afterwards I was like… oops I forgot the base was white. No one said anything.
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I have never done it but—a lot of people don’t necessarily go to a lot of weddings and aren’t really well versed in traditional North American wedding etiquette. It’s not hard to realize that people just don’t know unless you live in a bubble.
The dress code was “outshine the bride” (two grooms).
It was my wedding.
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I did! I was the bride though
I was the flower girl.
I’ve only been to one wedding where someone else wore white and it was a trans woman that didn’t know the social norms not to wear white. She called someone that could ask the bride on the way to the venue since someone mentioned it. The only time I could ever imagine it being okay and they still got appropriate consent from the bride.
I didn’t but two people wore white to my first wedding.
One was a cousin who sent me an email before asking if it would be okay. She was breastfeeding her newborn and the only blouse she had that wouldn’t draw attention to her nursing bra was white. She was very concerned and said she’d be wearing black pants. I told her I really didn’t care that much and I’m sure she would look lovely.
The second was my ex mother in law.
I kinda wore white to my big sisters wedding, I was like 12 or 13 and had no clue about the unspoken no white rule. It was a short flowy dress with a white base and pink flowers all over it. So not WHITE white, but a lil bit.
My SIL (the one getting married) picked the dress for my two year old
It was my wedding and I wanted the white dress
I only wore White to 2 time wedding one time. One time was because that was the dress code. The bride want every guest to wear guest, the 2nd time was because I was a bridesmaid at a friend wedding and that was the color she wanted all of us to wear.
My mom did but she didn’t know and her mom encouraged it and kinda sabotaged her on purpose when my mom found out it was honestly sad and that is also when I learned of that rule
Because I was a bridesmaid and the bride chose a white dress for us.
It was a wedding with two grooms and they wore matching blue suits.
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Because it was an Alice in Wonderland themed wedding and I was assigned the role of the White Queen by the bride, who wore and Alice themed blue wedding dress.
It was my own wedding 💍
Ughhhh because I was 19 and had no fucking clue.
It was white, probably too short but it did have black design all over it so not all white.
I still think about this sometimes and I’m well into my 30s.
Ughhhhh
I wore a dress with a white background. It was about 60% black. I also had a black wrap and black accessories. No one cared. I looked nothing like a bride.
White is not a bridal colour in many other cultures. I’ve always loved white outfits and would wear it a lot more often if I wasn’t such a stain risk.
I always thought it was a completely stupid rule though. The reasoning I always hear is you’ll be mistaken for the bride or upstage her. Obviously don’t wear something that’s white AND bridal, but otherwise I don’t see an issue an all. How often are people mixing up the bride for a guest?? And what colour a guest is wearing is irrelevant to whether or not you look “better” than the bride.
Im had a couple of guests wear white or off white to my wedding and I had zero issues with it. It was a beach wedding in Mexico and it was scorching hot. I think they all looked lovely and even looking at pics, anyone can tell who the bride was. It’s not as if they wore a wedding dress
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I was the bride…
Tradition
I did when I was 15, had no idea it was wrong. I still cringe from time to time lol
Summer, hot, these rules are stupid, unenforced, and imaginary
I was 18 and had no idea. To be fair it was a cream colored dress that I had from high school graduation. And I wore a red cardigan over it. I had never been to a wedding. I knew nothing about wedding etiquette. My entire family just went to courthouse for marriage and are backwoods hillbillies. I cringe thinking about it almost 20 years later.
Mum was getting married and I was her “maid of honour”. I didn’t have any duties or anything it was just the title.
She insisted I had to match the bride. I really really didn’t want to. I had a lovely blue dress that would have been amazing and comfortable but she forced me into a light cream dress that didn’t fit properly and showed my bra the whole day.
I looked like I was trying to steal the attention and I hate looking back at those pictures.