Working women, how do you go about splitting finances with your spouse/SO?

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Working women, how do you go about splitting finances with your spouse/SO?

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  1. LyricalLinds Avatar

    Split rent proportionately to our income and groceries we just kind of switch off without tracking.

  2. Basic-Remote-1053 Avatar

    Both of us came into the relationship with significant finances already – in both cases, inheritances from our respective parents who died before we met each other. We keep those investment accounts separate, and we reluctantly agreed to a prenup to allow us to walk away with that money in the (extremely unlikely) event our relationship ends.

    Aside from that, we have a joint account where we both deposit our paychecks, and we budget our household finances from there. Anything else (travel money, big projects) we negotiate on a case-by-case basis whether it comes from our joint savings, or one (or both) of our investment accounts.

  3. Pondering_Giraffe Avatar

    We calculated howmuch our household costs (house, insurance, rough estimate groceries, kids needs etc) and split that proportionately to both our incomes. We both have our own account, and a joint account for household expenses.

  4. Pretend-Confidence53 Avatar

    We split more or less 50/50. I wouldn’t want it any other way. If one of us is struggling for whatever reason (an unexpected car expense for example), the other chips in.

  5. WendyWestaburger Avatar

    We have one joint account and each of us has a debit card attached to it. All our income drops there and all bills are paid out of it.

  6. queenie_sabrina Avatar

    We split costs 50/50 and kept our own accounts while renting and living together. Several months after marriage we bought a house and combined finances into joint accounts. We are now retired and our individual lifetime earnings and retirement savings are about the same, so overall I’d say it continued to be 50/50 although there were times when one or the other of us was unemployed or underemployed. We consider everything we have as joint assets. That said, we started out with no significant savings or assets and we built what we have together. I would caution everyone to be mindful of protecting their own financial security and if that means separate accounts or a prenup then do that. Our way works for us, but only because we’re on the same page regarding savings and spending and we’ve built a lifetime of trust in each other.

  7. itssailorcoon Avatar

    Both I and my partner were raised very traditional (same cultures and beliefs). He takes care of the bills and expenses and I happily cook and clean for the both of us. I did splitting with my ex and I lost attraction.

  8. EternalRecurrence Avatar

    We pay for shared expenses proportionately based on our after tax salaries. We both pay the max 401k and HSA contributions which is a far bigger percentage of my salary than his, so I pay a pretty small percentage of everything. It gives me peace of mind that I’ll be ok no matter what happens later in life and anything else would feel like subsidizing a lifestyle I wouldn’t personally choose on my own.

    I also never pay for dates (meals out, concerts, shows, movies, etc.) because 1) that’s just not my culture and 2) he benefits from me looking amazing and that takes effort, time and money.

    He also fully funds 529 accounts for any children we may have such that their college education is assured (and depending on how many, their grad school too.) This felt fair when we discussed it because my contribution is literally making them and (likely) experiencing insane pain.

  9. deskbeetle Avatar

    We have one checking account, one savings account, and share credit cards. All our money goes into that checkings account. I take care of all the bills, credit card payments, moving funds from checkings to savings, etc. I regularly show him the status if the checking and savings accounts and let him know when we spend more than normal. 

    We’ve been doing it this way for 4 years. Since we both have incredibly similar spending habits (we are both big savers), this has never been an issue. We give each other a heads up if we plan to spend more than a hundred bucks or so but we’ve yet to need to say no to one another on anything. 

  10. still_on_a_whisper Avatar

    Everything is basically 50/50 even tho my SO makes $10 more per hour than I do.

  11. tinfoilhattie Avatar

    We have fully shared finances. Both of our names are on all accounts and assets and both of us have full access to everything at all times

    In practice, we each handle the administration necessary for some of the monthly expenses so neither of us is saddled with all of the responsibility, but the money is all shared and all coming from our joint finances.

  12. kurious-katttt Avatar

    Came into the relationship when he had a house. So split vacations pretty evenly and sometimes I buy groceries. He pays for most things. Seeing where we stand after a year to reassess.

  13. insertcaffeine Avatar

    Half of each of our paychecks goes into the joint account for household expenses. The other half goes into our personal accounts, for personal expenses.

  14. ladylemondrop209 Avatar

    Both of us put a proportion of our income into a joint account and we just use that account for our joint/shared expenses.

  15. T-Flexercise Avatar

    It depends on what kind of relationship it is and what our goals are.

    I’m usually the higher earner in whatever relationship I’m in.

    So early in a relationship, when the goal is to see if this works out without anybody suffering great hardship at relationship’s end, the goal is to change as little as possible. So usually that means we both pay our own expenses, and I pay for all the expensive dates, so we can have as much expensive fun as I want to have, but they’re never overextending their budget, and they’re not relying on me for basic life stuff.

    And if it’s intended to be a permanent relationship, the financial split really depends on what we’re imagining our future to be like. If they temporarily have a low income but intend to eventually earn similar to me (like if they’re in education, or working part time to care for a loved one), we’d split proportional to income and I’d pay most expenses until we’re eventually both paying closer to equally. But if they have a low income career that they enjoy and intend to keep, I wouldn’t want to be living with two people in a house only one can afford. I don’t want to live a life where I’m 80% responsible for household finances, but only have 50% ability to make financial decisions. That’s how I end up trapped in a stressful job that I can’t leave because I have a family to support. So instead, I’d want to find a lifestyle where we could split finances closer to 50/50, and I’ll still pay for the majority of entertainment spending. But I would have the ability to sock more money away, so that in the future I could also work a less lucrative job that affords more work-life balance.

  16. Neat3371 Avatar

    More or less 50-50. If one of us needs something extra one month then other one just chips in more.

  17. heavyope Avatar

    We split our mortgage based on income, utilities/groceries/housing expenses 50/50, and have separate “fun” money credit lines.

  18. fitzy798 Avatar

    Before we got married we did proportional to our income in terms of rent etc.

    Now we are married, so we have separate savings and a joint current account. For a while we would put that proportional amount into the current account which bills were paid out of. So it was done by pay check rather than by each bill. Now we earn about the same so we would just put 50 50 in. We have since had a baby so to be sure we have enough while we are in flux (until finances settle month to month) we have been both putting in 100% or our paychecks in for now, and will readjust the savings amount for each of us once we get back to a status quo. Also our savings are starting to be viewed more as communal. We still have them in separate accounts, but whenever we have a large purchase we just talk about the savings as cumulative, if we can split 50/50 we will but if not we don’t, the shift towards our money just came with time.

  19. Witty-Permission8283 Avatar

    All money is “our money.” Everything goes into a joint account. We both have individual accounts but we almost never use them. All bills are paid out of the joint account, most go onto our travel rewards credit card and then we pay that off each month from the joint account. Any savings comes out of the joint account.

    We share most hobbies and have a “reasonability cap” of like $100ish for random purchases you don’t need “permission” to spend. But when I say permission it’s more of like a “hey I want to get this new game. Is there any reason I shouldn’t?” It’s not so much permission, more like an awareness check and we’re both forgetful so if we have a big bill coming up or something and forget it’s a bit of a failsafe.

    We are both also pretty frugal and can be trusted not to completely wipe out the account ever. We both pay attention to the transactions and agree on where our priorities are.

  20. Lov3I5Treacherous Avatar

    We pay living expenses 50/50, even though I make about 20k more than him.

    However, we rent. We plan to own a house by end of the year, and in that time we will split expenses according to income %.

    I have expensive hobbies and a little bit of my student loans to pay off. Therefore, the extra money I have goes toward that.

    He has no debt.

    We bought a car and though he drives it the most, we pay 50/50 on it. My other vehicle is completely paid off.

    When we own a home, we will most likely create one joint account for home expenses. Currently we do not share any bank accounts.

    If we have a kid, we will contribute more into the joint expense account for house and family expenses. We will always have our “own” money and never in a million years would we expect the other to fork over what they made.

    And all of that being said, if I needed cash from him or likewise, we’d hand over our credit or debit cards, no questions asked.

  21. WheresMyMule Avatar

    We sat down and decided what are shared/family expenses and what are personal.

    All money goes into one pot, from which we allocate for shared expenses. What’s leftover gets split 50/50 for us to spend on personal items, with no comment my from b the other spouse

  22. dirtysecretsofmine Avatar

    We don’t. All our money goes into the checking, then moved to retirement and savings accounts. We have our own credit cards. But we don’t have separate bank accounts. I have gotten such shit about having “my own money” and protecting myself, but for me and my marriage, I don’t feel it’s necessary. I already have my own money that i can access when i need, it is just with my husband’s money too.

  23. noonecaresat805 Avatar

    He makes more than me. So when I agreed to move in with him the rule I gave is that we would have to live within my means. So where ever we lived would have to be something I could afford if he wanted extras then it was on him. And I was very open with him and told him things around what I make and this is the max I can afford in rent/bills/ food. So we made a spreadsheet. He wanted a place with an extra room because he needed an office so he pays the difference there. Other than that we pretty much split bills, food and chores.

  24. Atlgal42 Avatar

    We just put into one pot and each have our set amount in “fun accounts” after each paycheck. My biggest problem is that my husband doesn’t understand he’s not supposed to spend more than what’s in that account. But he always carries at least $1K in cc debt from buying stuff. I make nearly 2x what he does, so it’s been the source of fights. I’m helping max his 401k and Roth, which he wouldn’t do on his salary alone. But he’s awful with money and basically stagnated in his career while I’ve continued to move up. I love him but it can be frustrating to have such different perspectives on money.

  25. PeachyPesco Avatar

    We have our own bank accounts and then a shared checking account for bills. When I made more than him, I paid most of the rent, when he made more than me, he paid most of it. We make within a few thousand dollars of each other these days so it’s all 50/50. We transfer an agreed upon amount to the shared account regularly. We split every other shared expense (groceries, gas, insurance, etc.) equally.

    What we do with our own money is our business.

  26. StubbornTaurus26 Avatar

    We don’t split, our finances are combined.

  27. lostslotsofquestions Avatar

    My ex partner and i would just handle all our own stuff. groceries split 50/50 rent and bills split 50/50 and then any type of car payments or anything we covered our own stuff ourselves.

  28. Hippieassbutt Avatar

    I get the mortgage, insurance, and most of the pet stuff. He gets everything else (garbage, internet, groceries, electric/water/gas etc). It ends up being about even since our electric bill about triples in the winter months due to electric heat.

  29. noblestuff Avatar

    We still have separate accounts and split things from there proportionately on income. I get mortage and a few utilities. He gets other utilities and groceries/restaurants, vet bills, larger purchases (like we just got a new bed). We discuss these things and are flexible depending on what the financials are looking like.

    Lol we were told to do a joint account since we’re married now, but it’s honestly more of a pain than just keeping the accounts we already have. Tried it and it just sits there bc we dont feel like transferring money in just to pay it out.

  30. prout78h Avatar

    He bought his flat and we live there together, so I dont pay anytjing (bills, mortgage of course). We just split the groceries ans I save my money to buy something for me 🙂

  31. Tiny_Jumping_Beans Avatar

    We’re married and have a joint account. We stopped splitting finances when we bought our house together, and we share a credit card for spending. We discuss large purchases before buying them. When we were in our apartment, we split rent and utilities proportional to our income. We go over budgets and spending together about twice a month to make sure we’re staying in budget.

  32. SepsisBundle Avatar

    After having been in a “one pot” household with kids and marriage, I cannot fathom meeting someone new and having to figure all this out again. We had several joint accounts but all money was deposited into one checking account and I moved it around from there into separate joint savings accounts for emergencies or fun. No splitting of rent/dates/etc cause it was just OURS, no yours or mine other than individual retirement accounts and credit cards. That being said, I did the stay at home mom thing for a couple years so that set up made the most sense, but we never separated anything when I went back to work either. It’s definitely so much more of a headache if you separate. But that worked for us without a single argument about it for about ten years and I was happy with the set up. That being said, I can’t imagine doing that again under different circumstances.

  33. Falcom-Ace Avatar

    My husband is a SAHD so I pay for everything. We have a shared bank account and he’s an authorized user on all of my credit cards.

  34. Strong_Roll5639 Avatar

    We split the mortgage and bills around 60/40 (he earns a lot more), and then we spend/save what we like. We’re married, and it works for us.

  35. Communal-Lipstick Avatar

    Joint account so ot all goes in one pile.

  36. Evaderofdoom Avatar

    We have a joint account that auto pays all our bills. We did the math of our mortgage and bills, split that 50/50 and money from our private account automatically get moved to the joint account to cover bills. We make about the same but for awhile she was making more than me. We have a couple joint card that we use for groceries and travel. We pay about the same on the cards depending on what we use it for.

  37. Nancy2421 Avatar

    We just pool it collectively in one joint account, we have set rules on spending habits but in general just don’t care 🤷‍♀️

    we budget and run wild

  38. Another_viewpoint Avatar

    Our salaries are comparable –
    Joint investment and savings accounts
    split the household finances 50-50
    Rest goes into our checking accounts
    Seperate credit cards that get paid from checking accounts (we had these before we got married)
    We use a financial tracker app to get a view into transactions, income and debt across all our accounts.

    I assume ours is more straightforward and less complicated than others. (No major inheritances on either side)

  39. lowlysheepherder Avatar

    We don’t. It all goes into one pot.

  40. thelittlebird Avatar

    Since marriage we put out paycheques into one joint account, which we use to pay for everything we share, including rent, bills, food, and so on, plus necessities like seasonal clothes, personal hygiene…

    We have a few joint saving accounts too for things like travel, our baby to be, and a general emergency fund.

    Then we move a small amount into our own personal accounts for personal spending (gifts, treats, nights out with friends, craft supplies, whatever nonsense we want).

    It works for us. There’s limited math involved, but it’s still equitable. We can both see everything that comes in and out of all joint accounts, but we have private personal accounts too.

  41. Curiosity-Sailor Avatar

    There is no splitting. All money is shared and in shared accounts. Money goes in and bills are paid. We have savings auto deducted from our paychecks into different accounts according to our savings goals (emergency, house, travel, HSA, etc.). The only time we would split is if one of us got a bonus or gift care we want to treat ourselves with (say $100 and we both get to spend $50 of it on whatever). Luckily neither of us are terrible with finances, and we always check in for any purchases (personal or otherwise) more than like $20 just cause of issues with credit card fraud/scammers in the past.

  42. DaisyMaisy13 Avatar

    We split bills but keep our banking separate. We do not share any accounts, etc.

  43. PilsbandyDoughboy Avatar

    We split the bills 50/50. I have a spread sheet to track everything. Mortgage comes out of his account and all monthly bills come out of mine and then I send him the difference. Gas and groceries we mostly take turns although he does tend to pick these up more than I do since he makes slightly more and burns most of the gas.

    We have always had separate accounts with our own money and it has never been a problem.

  44. PupperMerlin Avatar

    Before marriage: split joint expenses proportionally.

    After marriage: combined accounts for everything except for personal fun money. We each transfer a set amount every month to our respective personal fun money accounts and can use that money for whatever we want, no questions asked.

    I’m probably old fashioned because I grew up with a SAHM. Maybe I can understand split finances after marriage and before kids, but I don’t understand how things can remain equitable once kids are involved. I’ve witnessed situations (hetero marriages) where one parent (usually mom) is responsible for all expenses related to children, and it always seems like the other parent (usually dad) underestimates how much it costs to raise kids.

  45. fakeaccount572 Avatar

    We just….have an account. All money goes in

  46. Impressive_Prune_478 Avatar

    Split bills 50/50. If there was debt, wants, large purchases etc would be on the person it belongs to.

  47. lalalibraaa Avatar

    We only have a joint account. Everything goes in there and comes out of there. It’s all shared. I make more than he does but it doesn’t matter we share it all 100%.

  48. BxTalk Avatar

    No spouse/ SO & I live alone, so. 100% on me. •⁠ᴗ⁠•

  49. Just_here2020 Avatar

    Pre kids: Pooled everything except a set (same) amount for each of us for fun/whatever fund. He’s 11 years old but was getting advanced degrees for most of it so retirement was small – so he put more in retirement because I had more time. 

    Currently 2 toddlers and I’m pregnant: all money is pooled and we’re broke due to daycare. 

    Edit: salary we make equal amounts but I have rentals that I self manage and am the planner. He’s willing to work hard on household and childcare so I’m not the family workhorse. 

    As long as we’re both putting in a lot of effort, I don’t want to keep track of things closely. But if he ever got the idea that I work at home and work just to have less money at the end of the month than him, he’d get a rude awakening. 

  50. question_girl617 Avatar

    My husband makes significantly more money than me so he pays for the mortgage and most utilities. I pay for groceries, pet expenses usually, doctor’s appointments co-pays, and other miscellaneous things.

  51. ErinCoach Avatar

    I make about half what he does, but our accounts are joint. Been together 30+ years.

    I’ve seen a ton of variety in other people’s relationships, though. Any set-up CAN work, and any set-up CAN fail and create havoc, hurt other family members, waste huge amounts of time, leave lasting resentment or feelings of imbalance, etc.

    Don’t think that just because something is common, it’ll work for you. And don’t think that because it works for you today, it’ll work for you tomorrow.

  52. alex-warner1825 Avatar

    One checking account, one savings account, one retirement account, and one investment portfolio. Both our names are on the houses, cars, and we both have access to each others everything

  53. TheJadeGoddess Avatar

    Dating you pay proportional to income for rent, utilities, etc. Make sure both people are paying for groceries at some point but just kinda happens. Discuss going in together for large purchases you will share.

    Married, into the joint account. Talk about any medium or larger purchases before buying. Keep an eye on small spending to avoid bad habits. Different joint accounts for organization if needed for saving, bills, monthly spending money, etc.

    Only restrict spending like with allowances in drastic situations like chronic bad spending habits that you both agree needs to be addressed and agree this is the best method. Good idea to couple with therapy to address core of why the issue is there for best results.

  54. dontletmeleave-murph Avatar

    My husband takes care of the mortgage, and utilities. I pay for groceries every week, our phone bill and give him around 250$ every month to contribute to the mortgage. We made sure it comes out about even for us. We split anything else that comes up in life lol. We keep all our money separate. So far this has been working!

  55. Alissia_MyF Avatar

    My boyfriend and I split the rent 50/50 and spend the rest of the money on ourselves

  56. shesshellsbells Avatar

    I buy all the groceries, and if I invested in the house that month I pay him nothing. If I didn’t financially contribute to home improvements in some way I give him about 1/3 of the mortgage. I pay no bills beyond that, because he makes more than me and I contribute to running the daily tasks more than he does. I cook every meal and do most dishes, which I’m happy to trade for not financially contributing as much. But beyond that our money is separate and we do as we like with it. We each invest and save separately but have talked about doing a joint savings in the near future for our next home purchase.

  57. pinballrepair Avatar

    We are in the same industry so our pay is equal, we split everything shared equally but he pays for dates and gets me gifts and kitchen items I want a few times a year. (He doesn’t like receiving gifts so I do other things, I also cook all the food and he does all the dishes) we’ve also discussed if/when he switches to a higher paying industry he will cover more expenses and

  58. StealthyThings Avatar

    I make more than my current partner but I’ve made less before as well. Always good money, though.

    We figure out all the joint expenses and we each deposit half of that total to the joint account from our checks. The remaining balance is ours to spend as we see fit.

  59. aerialariel22 Avatar

    We both contribute the same amount per check to our joint account and that covers our mortgage and utilities. We also contribute the same amount to our HSA per check. Whatever is leftover from each of our checks goes to our personal accounts.

    We use a joint credit card for all other purchases. We each have our own credit card that we are responsible for, but things like groceries or nights out go on our joint credit card. Then I pay the joint credit card since my husband is the one handling his student loans (which I have zero of – thanks, Dad!) and car payment.

    Husband feels guilty for not paying more of the joint credit card balance, but he’d be drowning in debt if I forced him to split it with me. I honestly don’t mind spending my money on our weekly costs while he handles his two other debts. It works for us and I don’t know what I’d do with my money otherwise lol

  60. Fun_Platypus_4280 Avatar

    I am the sole financial provider for my husband and kids, and he is the sole daytime care provider for our three kids. I pay him well in beef and bedtime activities. Or does he pay me? Hmm.

    It’s a marriage, all things are shared. Whenever he makes money from occasional art commissions, he uses it to cover expenses, and the rest is in our joint checking…our ONLY checking.

  61. nakoros Avatar

    We have individual checking and money market accounts, as well as a set of joint ones. Paycheck goes into the individual accounts, automatic withdrawal a few days later to the joint account of most of it (we reserve some in our personal accounts for fun money). Joint account pays bills and the remainder funds joint savings/investment accounts. We also both contribute to individual 401k accounts that are taken out before the paycheck hits our individual checking.

    Mortgage, food, medical, childcare, and combined “fun” expenses (i.e. eating or going out together, family vacations) come out of the joint accounts. Indivisible

  62. Fragrant_Click8136 Avatar

    You don’t 🙂 you’re the federal reserve… comprende?

  63. Wild-Opposite-1876 Avatar

    My husband is a househusband, so there’s no splitting, whatever I earn as the breadwinner is ours.

  64. MamaMidgePidge Avatar

    Before we were married, we split everything 50/50. We had similar income and expenses, so it was easy.

    After we got married we became one financial unit. All income to joint accounts, all expenses paid from them. Doesn’t matter who is making more.

  65. Viggos_Broken_Toe Avatar

    We make about the same and we split things about the same. He pays rent, I venmo him. I buy thing for house, he venmos me. He does all the grocery shopping but he has my credit card so he’ll switch between them.

    We keep our accounts separate, but we each have access to each other’s accounts. I guess technically they’re all shared accounts but I don’t use his and he doesn’t use mine.

  66. languagelover17 Avatar

    We both contribute a proportional amount to a joint account every month. Shared purchases go on our joint credit card.

  67. fitnessnewbie00 Avatar

    He does the big stuff like mortgage, I do the small things like groceries. We put a portion of our income into a joint account. Basically my money is his money, his money is my money.

  68. confusedrabbit247 Avatar

    We split rent but I pay a little more since he pays for groceries. He pays for internet and I pay for electric and car insurance. We have our own phone bills.

  69. Send_bird_pics Avatar

    We organise our money so we both have the same spending money per month. All essential bills and luxury bills are covered (luxury bills things like gym membership/audible/spotify – we break it down so we know immediately what to cut if we hit problems). Then we both have the same amount of “spending money” put into each of our separate own accounts.