I (22F) moved out when I was 20 years old, and for the majority of my life, my Dad (51M) and my Mom (48F) have both either gotten undressed in front of or around me. My Dad typically walks around the house in his underwear, unless he’s going out within the next 10 minutes or so. They have been doing this since my older sister (28) was 2 years old.
Now that I’ve moved out and live about a block away from their place, I walk over there frequently, and I babysit my little sister (11) sometimes. As a guest in their home, I would have expected them to be attentive to me, just as they are when other guests come over, such as my brother’s friends and girlfriend. But nope, they haven’t bothered to wear clothes when I come over. It’s also not just me. Whenever my husband comes over, my Dad still walks around in his underwear. As well as with my older sister.
I had wondered in the past if it would be rude of me to ask them to wear clothes whenever I come over, as they are not nudists. Would I be the AH if I were to set this boundary?
P.S. I am a listener.
Comments
Thanks for submitting to the Two Hot Takes Podcast Subreddit! We’d like to remind you that all posts are subject to being featured in an episode of the Two Hot Takes Podcast. If your story is featured you’ll
get a nifty flair change to let you know and we’ll drop a link so you can see our host’s take on your story.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Backup of the post’s body: I (22F) moved out when I was 20 years old, and for the majority of my life, my Dad (51M) and my Mom (48F) have both either gotten undressed in front of or around me. My Dad typically walks around the house in his underwear, unless he’s going out within the next 10 minutes or so. They have been doing this since my older sister (28) was 2 years old.
Now that I’ve moved out and live about a block away from their place, I walk over there frequently, and I babysit my little sister (11) sometimes. As a guest in their home, I would have expected them to be attentive to me, just as they are when other guests come over, such as my brother’s friends and girlfriend. But nope, they haven’t bothered to wear clothes when I come over. It’s also not just me. Whenever my husband comes over, my Dad still walks around in his underwear. As well as with my older sister.
I had wondered in the past if it would be rude of me to ask them to wear clothes whenever I come over, as they are not nudists. Would I be the AH if I were to set this boundary?
P.S. I am a listener.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I don’t think it’s necessarily rude to ask them, it may be rude to expect it idk, I always walk around in undies, or naked when in my old house as I had no neighbors, now I have neighbors with kids can’t be risking the naked walks but if it was close friends or family I’d still be in undies its my house I’m going to be comfortable although if someone asked it defo put some shorts on, honestly just ask and if they can’t accommodate you stop going over ask them to come to yours when it comes up why you don’t come around anymore
I’ve lived long enough to know you cannot control what others do, only your own actions.
The rational thing for you to do would be to drastically reduce the amount of time you spend at your parent’s house. Let them come to you, which hopefully involves clothing for the journey. Babysit your sister at your place.
Of course there will be questions, and you can calmly state that you prefer the clothed version of them. That means you’ll ask them to leave if they start disrobing at your place. Maybe they’ll decide to accommodate, maybe they won’t, but that doesn’t mean you have to contribute to your own discomfort.
If they don’t agree to your younger sister being at your place for childcare, they can make another arrangement. And if you need that money (if they’re paying you), it shouldn’t be too hard to find another babysitting job, or another job altogether.
The person I’m most concerned about is your younger sister. How does she feel about the situation, and I’d imagine it means she can’t have friends over, is she okay with that?