Our son has recently been doing gross stuff to our daughter to get a rise out of her and she really hates it. It started when she gagged when someone passed gas in a small room and he thought it was funny, and now he’s periodically tried to fart in her face, hold the doggie bag up to her nose when walking the dog, and huffed in her face in the morning without brushing his teeth causing her to gag a lot.
He thinks it’s funny but she really hates it and wants him to stop, he knows this and I’ve told him this after the first two incidents but he still did it again. He says “I’m not hurting her, it’s just a smell, it’s funny and she needs to get over it.”
In response, I told him “Next time this happens, I’m going to make you smell something you won’t be able to handle. And you’re not going to get to stop smelling it just because you hate it or it makes you feel queasy.”
He asked “what could you make me smell that’s so bad,” and I said “You don’t want to find out – you don’t give her any warning when you do these things so you aren’t receiving one either.” (I’m a vet tech though and have more than adequate means to follow through on this).
He sort of rolled his eyes and said “whatever,” but it did make him stop for a while. Until yesterday morning when he burped in her face again and laughed about it. I simply told him “Alright, I’ll be carrying out the punishment we’d discussed.”
I let my daughter take a mini-vacation with my husband to get away from him in the meantime (to a local hotel and waterpark) while I prepare to administer his punishment. (Just need a couple more dogs at work who need “expressions”…🤮
After talking with others about it though I just wonder if it’s too harsh a punishment. My husband fully supports it and so do 3 of my coworkers, but two of them say it’s too harsh, and that a smell this bad is way disproportionate to burps and farts. I said that everyone has a different tolerance to these things though, and if he repeatedly violates his sister’s, then he needs to realize what it’s like to be on the flipside of this.
I told my husband I was having second thoughts and wondered if it was too harsh of a punishment, but he said “it’s not undeserved and you have to follow through on your promise.”
WIBW?
Comments
Nope, it serves two purposes.
1) To understand stop doing this to her.
2) If anything, spark curiosity in him, as to what in the world was that. Never know the interest this could lead to in your field.
Not Wrong, he does need to be punished.
..but no teenage boy is gonna fear that lol, right? i feel like i’d just take it as a fear factor challenge, how bad could it be?
Ugh, my older brother did this stuff to me and I would barf!
You absolutely have to follow through on your promise. I’m sure it would mean a lot to your daughter that he gets a dose of his own medicine and understands what she goes through when he torments her.
Just two questions to consider:
Are you sure this stuff is bad enough it’ll really get to him? The worst outcome would be that he gets this punishment and just laughs it off and learns exactly the wrong lesson, so as a non-dog-person, I just want to make sure…
I feel like not going through with the punishment will just teach him there’s no consequences. But he should’ve been punished a lot sooner, letting him get away with forcing his sister to smell the doggie bag? Seriously? He’s a bully and needs to be punished.
But I don’t think this punishment is the best, removing electronics is sometimes more effective. And I wouldn’t want him to have more ideas on how to bother his sister.
He does need to be punished and I’m assuming you are talking about anal gland expressions. I personally would ground him from screen time for a week or two because it’s a longer lasting punishment and will hit him where it really hurts.
I’d say do the opposite — start spraying him with girly, fruity scents. See how he likes that!
Not wrong & please update us!
Discipline the dude.
Him ignoring her autonomy is very bad. He showing that he doesn’t care that she is uncomfortable and unhappy and that he doesn’t have to respect her or her body.
This teaches him that he doesn’t have to care about others/women when they say no and stop.
This teaches her that she has to just take this from others/men and that she won’t be protected.
You stated you were going to do something as a punishment, you need to follow through. You are not wrong
And he’s the one that said smells aren’t that bad.
Why repost?
He needs consequences for his poor behavior. He needs to learn.
He’s bulling her. Once in a while might be a prank. This isn’t pranking anymore. Protect your daughter and teach your son.
Disgusting 🤮 Not wrong
Not wrong.
Your son was being a jerk and inconsiderate on purpose. The punishment didn’t hurt him, but it will teach him a lesson
He’s not going to stop torturing your daughter because you made him smell something bad. I’m very sensitive to bad smells and gagging is not fun. It hurts my throat and upsets my stomach. Someone trying to get that reaction out of me would just be cruel. Would your course of action be the same if he was playfully slapping her face regularly? Maybe an actual, long term consequence should be the answer.
You would not be wrong. I believe that over correction is a great deterrent and this follows along those lines. He gets to smell it until he’s sick and tired of smelling it. And maybe, just maybe, he will think before he does it to his sister again.
"No" and "stop" are complete sentences. He needs to learn that now before he joins the dating pool and becomes someone else’s immature nightmare. Reddit’s full of stories about people like him disregarding others and the consequences (impending or already happened) of those actions.
Yeah, this is absolutely bullying. I wonder if he’s doing that at school too? I’d be much more concerned that your son has no respect for your daughters ‘no’ and also your daughter is learning that her no doesnt mean anything to anyone in the family because there arent any consequences. He laughs at her discomfort and does it to make her upset for kicks. If it were you and your husband would you be so accepting? If it made you upset and your husband laughed at you how would you be with that? I know hes a teen and this is is seen as typical behavior but it shouldnt be. You’re under reacting in my opinion and the punishment should be more meaningful. YNW but maybe you’re not doing enough. GL!
Not wrong. If burps and farts truly make her gag a lot that means she’s sensitive to that stuff… So in reality is realllllly gross to her.
So doing something realllly gross to him is proportionate. And what you’ll be doing is really gross to any human being so I think it fits.
Just be quick about it lol
He needs to understand that people get grossed out by smells and it isn’t a nice feeling…… And this will hit that home.
I think you dont want to miss the forest for the trees. The issue isnt whether or not smelly things are bad, its that she’s clearly telling him to stop and he’s violating that clearly stated boundary anyway. It shouldnt matter if the smell was sunshine and rainbows, if she doesnt want him blasting scents in her face she should have that respected.
Like you dont want his decision making to hinge on whether he thinks something smells too bad to subject people to it like that, it should hinge on if she said to knock it off.
Make him go to a stable and muck the stalls. Or go to a pig farm and roll around in pig dung. I don’t think dog poop is enough. Or a chicken factory….. those things smell for miles!!!!!
He’s at an age of testing boundaries, and he has repeatedly pushed your daughter’s limits. If there’s no consequences, it subtlety tells him it’s OK to ignore women’s requests. And sets a precedent for how he behaves when he’s in contact with women in the future. Maybe that’s s stretch, but violence against women starts somewhere and it’s usually someone pushing back against a ‘no’ they don’t like to hear. You need to carry on with the planned punishment.
The thing is: He IS hurting her! There are more ways to injure someone than physically. That’s the lesson he should learn – kindness.
I’d have him doing her chores, buying her something, going out for ice cream with her (his treat).
And, yes, you should follow through with your promise as well.
When you said you were a vet tech I was like pleaseeeeee let it be anal gland expressions! That is by far the most foul smell I have ever experienced. I had a schnauzer who always needed his done and my mom was a vet tech and showed me how to do it on my own. Just gross. That being said, DO ITTTTT! He needs to understand the consequences of his actions. I’d even do it again after the first time just to show him how it feels when people don’t respect your boundaries.
DOOOO IT! And update us
Im your daughter in this scenario. Im now 49 snd my brother is 56. He tortured me throughout childhood and still tries til this day. I still get comments like You need to get over it or My god you are sensitive. Nothing was ever done to him.
I hate him. I hate him with a passion. I only speak to him because our parents are elderly. Once they are gone…I just might move across the country.
What he is doing is torture. Show your daughter she is worth standing up for.
Not too harsh. He needs to learn boundaries and to leave people alone. The world will treat him much harsher so I say go for it!!!
Your husband’s correct. You have to keep your promise, or else your son will learn there are no consequences to him violating your daughter’s personal space and bodily autonomy. Who cares if it’s a worse smell than a burp or fart, or even dog poop? That’s what it’s going to take to teach him that lesson. You are not physically harming him, beyond maybe inducing vomiting once, and he’s gonna remember it forever — I guarantee it. Stand up for your daughter.
Why are you discussing this with all these people? If you don’t carry out the punishment then what message does that send? That’s the problem with ultimatums. You punish him for the inappropriate behavior, not that he’s grossing her out. His behavior is just unacceptable. That’s why he’s being punished.
This isn’t just about not grossing her out mentally. There’s a huge CONSENT issue He keeps invading her personal space and he knows she doesn’t want him. And it’s an assault on her senses to blow turd air or mouth-bacteria air in her face. This is not how a young man believes to a girl/woman. It’s not how we treat anyone.
Stop giving warnings. Stop trying to debate with him to convince him. From now on every time he does this, he gets a prompt, effective punishment. At his age, he’s probably heavily dependent on his electronics. What if he loses all electronics including the living room TV for 24 hours. The next time he can lose everything for several days. You need to figure out what is most important to this particular boy, and that’s the thing you can use as carrot/stick.
Besides the punishment, there’s probably a need for more guidance. He’s at an age where girls/women cause lots of confusing feelings. Who knows what trash messages he’s getting about girls from internet or his friends. It could be a sign he’d benefit from more time with positive male role models. Take him out on weekends – no girls allowed. Do male bonding. When you are around girls/women together, be sure you’re modeling perfect behavior towards them.
Do it and make him wake up to it. That way he doesn’t have the ability to plug his nose and will get a full whiff initially. Bullying younger siblings like this is unacceptable. It’s not sibling rivalry or kids being kids. He’s closer to an adult than a kid and definitely knows better by this point.
He needs a serious conversation about boundaries and consent bc it’s concerning he isn’t respecting her space.
That is the WORST smell ever! I can’t get it out of a car I own. I’m going to sell that car because I can’t stand the smell.
Not wrong. Not only is this behavior nasty & violates her space, he thinks it’s a joke. He needs to learn better because the next person that he does this to won’t think it’s funny. Typically this type of behavior is mostly done to siblings because of that.
I think this dual punishment will make him grow up & be better.
Gonna need an update
Not wrong, you are being amazing. You need to teach your son to respect woman. Imagine him doing things like that with friends?? And you need to reasurr you daughter that she owns her body, and she needs to be respected. Remember, the way she is raised at home it will what she thinks is normal in a future relation
You either have to go through with your threat or explain that you issued the threat in anger and have had time to think about it. The whole two wrongs don’t make a right thing. Then the most important thing is to find a punishment that he will absolutely feel and follow through with it.
I’ve done the latter before and it serves two purposes. First, it shows we all make mistakes and if we own them we can do better. And second, it shows him you were absolutely serious when you told him to stop and he will know any future issues will result in punishment.
Side note…my brothers and I were about the same distance apart and at 15 they were in full protect mode. They never would have done anything like this to me and if anyone else had they would have defended me. Your son needs to grow up. I hope you find an appropriate punishment.
You should follow through this time because you told him you would BUT, if he continues, my recommendation would be to take away something he cares strongly about instead of trying to one up him in the gross out department. Limit screen time, or make him stay home from an outing he has looked forward to with friends.
YNW-I know what you’re talking about and it won’t hurt him but you really need to get more strict about this. What he is doing is sadistic and cruel.
He is intentionally torturing his sister for fun. After the expressions, let him know that every new infraction will be punished by more traditional methods.
Grounding, no screens, taking electronics, etc. He also needs to apologize to his sister and you need to have another talk with him.
He says he’s not hurting her but he’s wrong. He is causing her anxiety and it’s likely to get worse. She is now living in a house with someone that she knows apparently hates her and wants to cause her harm. He needs to understand the damage he’s doing.
Go ahead with your plan and then go ahead with the talk and more consequences. When he has nothing left to do but sit on his bed and stare at the wall maybe he’ll realize just how awful he’s behaving.
PS-in anticipation of the blowback and insistance that “he doesn’t hate her, he’s just a rude boy”, I didn’t say he hated her. But I can promise you that that is HER perception.
Not wrong. He’s learning and practising how to ignore and overstep women’s boundaries for his own gratification and amusement. The fact that she’s his sister does not mean he’s allowed or entitled to do it. That’s rapist behaviour.
NW
YTA for not stopping it immediately. He is bullying his little sister, and instead of setting real consequences like losing privileges you’re stooping to the level as a child pulling a prank. You’re a parent, not a YouTube jerk; explain that purposefully making people sick or upset is not a joke, it’s harmful and a sign of low character, and dole out real and lasting consequences.
You have to follow through or you’re teaching your children that they can do whatever they want.
when i was a kid with a brother 2 years older than me, i had to put up with all kinds of brotherly love, like him walking into my bedroom and sitting on my pillow, farting, and walking back out, among other lovely things.
the difference is it was part of our dynamic and i would yell like crazy, but i wasn’t actually traumatized, it was just him being gross to get to get me which it did, but not in a manner that i couldn’t accept. acceptance is key.
Not Wrong. I just want updates please.
!UpdateMe
Not too harsh at all. Bullies need a taste of their own medicine before they stop bullying their victim(s).
I just hope it does actually make him gag.
!Updateme
Wow. He’s about to be the worst red flag of a grown man unless you step in. Boundaries, the word NO and respect all seems to be missing. I know siblings can be assholes but he’s acting like a 9 year old and it needs to stop. Do what you need to do.
Nta. It’s not funny if everyone’s not laughing.
Nta. It’s not funny if everyone’s not laughing.
All kids try to test their own autonomy and independence from their parents at different points in their natural process of maturation. It’s important to let them do that as they find their own way. But not giving them boundaries and consequences can teach them lessons that we actually don’t want to teach them. It sounds like you and your husband are not excessively strict with your son; in fact you communicate with him and seem to respect him and his sister. So this punishment doesn’t feel extreme, or likely to cause trauma they he will someday have to unwind with his therapist. You’ve told him that consequences are coming if he persists, and if you don’t follow through (whether with this punishment or another) you will be doing him a disservice
All kids try to test their own autonomy and independence from their parents at different points in their natural process of maturation. It’s important to let them do that as they find their own way. But not giving them boundaries and consequences can teach them lessons that we actually don’t want to teach them. It sounds like you and your husband are not excessively strict with your son; in fact you communicate with him and seem to respect him and his sister. So this punishment doesn’t feel extreme, or likely to cause trauma they he will someday have to unwind with his therapist. You’ve told him that consequences are coming if he persists, and if you don’t follow through (whether with this punishment or another) you will be doing him a disservice
I think this is a fair punishment. Your son is out of control. It’s not funny what he’s doing ans he needs to realize that. He is literally terrorizing your daughter who has done nothing wrong. Teach him this lesson and hopefully he’ll stop for good.
Please don’t be one of those moms who let their son do any and everything. It’s weird and I promise you it will only cause hurt and distance between you and your daughter in the long run. Nip it in the bud RIGHT NOW. He’s punished and that’s final.
Please don’t be one of those moms who let their son do any and everything. It’s weird and I promise you it will only cause hurt and distance between you and your daughter in the long run. Nip it in the bud RIGHT NOW. He’s punished and that’s final.
This is more serious than you realize, and it shouldn’t have gotten to this point.
You, both you and partner, are wrong for letting him do this for as long as he has.
She’s going to get pushed to the point of violence, and even before that this could lead to trauma. Her space is being violated often. And you guys have just said "stop" and then let it happen. Who’s protecting your daughters space? Her sanity? Her well being.
This should have been handled better and sooner.
I don’t have kids but you could just hit him with some smelling salts instead of using dog shit…. Or you could ground him because he needs to understand his actions have consequences and he didn’t listen when he was told to stop, and he needs to understand that there are boundaries and he’s not respecting them with other people and that’s not cool 🤷♂️
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Do it. You can tell him that this one thing is all of his farts, burps, etc…all rolled into one. Hope he learns his lesson. If not, maybe it’s time your daughter starts doing it back. Tell her to fart on his pillow.
You’d be a bad parent if you didn’t punish him!!!
He’s not just being gross, he’s being quite disrespectful to his sister……. hopefully that doesn’t lead to him mistreating the women he dates later in life!!!
First of all, the vote here is 5-2, so the two dissenting co-workers are outvoted. Second, why do you care what they think? The majority of people you talked to about this support you. Those two people who disagree are not the arbiters of parenting.
Most of all, your son is bullying your daughter, and he needs to stop. She has tried telling him to stop; you have tried telling him to stop; and in the way of all bullies and jokesters, he thinks it’s not a big deal and “she needs to get over it.” He is being deliberately cruel to his sister. You need to tell him, after you gross him out, that not only will you continue to retaliate on his sister’s behalf, but you are disappointed that you can’t depend on him to protect his sister from bullies because he is one. And it’s worse because he lives with her and is her brother. It doesn’t sound like your son has much empathy or caring in him, so it might not matter, but maybe if you point out to him that he is treating her worse than bullies at school, it will sink in.
He is using your daughter’s weakness, for lack of a better word, against her to hurt her. He is no better than an abusive husband. That’s what abusive spouses do. If I were his mom, I would tell him how disappointed and disgusted I was, and then I would regularly look at him like I was disappointed in him until he couldn’t take it anymore. Good luck.
Classic "You reaped what you sow". Play Aretha Franklin; Respect!
There’s a couple reasons why you should buy a big one is you need to show him that people’s boundaries and consent are important.
I’m really concerned about the way in which your 15yo son has no respect at all for his sister, especially when it comes to her personal space and autonomy. That’s actually super concerning. How does he treat other girls his age? Does he bother them? Does he continue to invade person spaces when told to stop? Does he not understand the word "no"?
Do what you gotta do. And maybe watch Adolescence on Netflix.
Anyone who says it’s too harsh can host your son for the next three years.
First of all, you absolutely do need to get through to him and teach hm to be more empathetic. Secondly, you must follow through on the stated punishment.
YNW
So what he’s doing can create trauma for your daughter, your son really needs to stop. It’s also indicative to a sadistic personality, and borders on abusive, no matter how innocent it may seem to some. I’d say go for it, because if he doesn’t learn his lesson he may start doing worse things
I think teaching him to stop infringing on her autonomy by infringing on his is a little unhinged tbh. I never agreed with the "eye for an eye" type of punishments.
The problem isnt that he is making her smell stinky smells, its that he isnt listening to her nos by doing things to her she does not like. Its not funny and its not a prank and you going forward with the stinky smells thing as a punishment just pushes that idea (imo).
He does need to be disciplined, but the discipline should revolve around teaching him why what he is doing is not ok and what "men not taking no for an answer" does to women.
Its not like he’s just farting (which is still disgusting) and shes gagging over it… he put a bag full of shit in your daughters face. If some 15 year old boy who wasnt your son did that to your daughter, what do you think putting something even stinkier in his face might do? (Absolutely nothing is the answer.).
He understands its stinky. What he actually needs to understand is that when someone says no, he needs to fuck off.
Do it and give us an update. Some people never learn until they experience the same thing for themselves. NTA
ETA: If your plan doesn’t work, try an old fashioned Mucking
I think you’ve picked the perfect punishment, OP. Go for it!
Update me
He needs to learn that NO means NO. Your son has not learned that lesson.
You should add more concrete consequences for him. Taking away his phone for a while so he can’t post her reaction on the socials. He doesn’t get it back until he decides that he is NEVER going to cross her boundaries again. Smelling something putrid may not affect him like a reasonable person. Personally – I can will my way through pretty much any smell. That isn’t a punishment.
Because if he is willing to cross his sister’s very reasonable boundaries – just wait until he starts dating and crossing older people’s boundaries – around birth control, around which hole to use for sex, etc.
NTA for wanting to punish him for being an AH jerk.
He needs counseling ASAP.
Not wrong. Here is the issue when it comes to family issues. It always looks different to outsiders because they aren’t in the trenches with you. Look at it this way, your husband was with you on this. I mean he’s just a dumb 15 year old that thinks he knows everything and you humbled his bell. I think it was a fitting punishment.
I used to be married to a man who never learned this lesson: annoying other people to entertain yourself is rude and juvenile. If you’re the only one laughing, it’s not funny. Punish the hell out of him his future wife will thank you. Mine even annoyed the BABY to entertain himself you can imagine how that affected our marriage
Body autonomy is real.
If you’re allowing your son To treat his sister that way, heaven help any girlfriend he may eventually get.
While teenage boy may think it’s funny, another person may consider this to be abusive behavior
He deserves it. It’s not going to hurt him. Just give him a taste of his own medicine. Also if you don’t follow through he won’t take your threats for punishment seriously.
Do. It.
You should buy that fart spray/skunk spray etc foul smelling "prank" spray and go ham whenever he misbehaves 🙂 get a spray in his hair or face for a good measure, stops being funny real fast. And because it was made to be used on humans it’s not dangerous or anything.
Nope, I say go ahead completely. My boyfriend acted just like this in the beginning of our relationship around both me and his family. I had to sit down with him and tell him that behaving this way is not acceptable for a grown man and it’s disgusting and I understand that he probably didn’t receive as much attention as a middle child ( he most definitely didn’t ) growing up, but this is not the way to do it. People do not think it’s funny people do not think it’s cute. People are not laughing and you’re just embarrassing yourself. And now he doesn’t do it anymore so I say do what works for you before he grows up doing the same things as an adult.
Two words: Smelling salts
You’re not wrong. I think your solution is genius actually.
OP, I fully support this punishment. I had a sibling who would do similar things to me until he sent me into a full-blown asthma attack and he thought I was going to die (bird poop, ‘nough said). He’ll get the message and hopefully not do it again.
As a person who worked at a vet office. Do it he was being disrespectful to the both of you.He should have stopped when you told him what the consequences were.
Teaching a little shit to be respectful to his sister disliking smelly things by forcing him to sniff anal gland expression matter (briefly ofc) is clever as a vet tech
Establish dominance
Nope. Do it and update me!
What he is doing is violating and disgusting so yeah go for it
DO IT!!!! Its just you giving him a taste of his own medicne. . . I think its good parenting. You gave him fair warning to make the right choice.
UPDATE PLEASE
Imagine the gross stuff he does to people’s tooth brushes in the bathroom.
Now that the threat has been established to not follow through would really put a dent in your credibility. I personally wouldn’t go so far so soon but you are in it now and he fully has it coming. Also please update with the results lol
You are not wrong.
Besides him deserving it, it’s bad not to follow through with consequences.
Express those glands!!!! And wake him up every few hours with that smell in his face.
Too harsh? No, the punishment fits the crime. Put some stink in his face and see how he likes it.
“It’s not hurting you, it’s just a smell. Get over it”
I have 3 brothers. They got the bright idea to hold me down and fart on me one time. In their defense, it was very well deserved (I was a vicious little kid), but my mother happened to walk into the living room and saw it. She made them climb into the outdoor trash cans bare foot and clean them with a drinking cup full of water and their own toothbrush (which was thrown away after but they didn’t know that was the plan at the time). And she sat in a lawn chair drinking a beer and lecturing them on why men don’t use physical force against women. They never touched me again no matter how mean I was to them.
I’m not in the habit of taking parenting advice from my mother. She was pretty awful. But it was certainly effective. You’re welcome to share that story with anybody who thinks your plan is too harsh. They don’t even know the meaning of the word.
You’re not hurting him. It’s just a smell. He needs to get over it.
NTA
You are not wrong. Your son is a f-ing bully! He needs a reality check.
Not wrong. And if the anal gland smell isn’t enough to make him rethink it, start leaving used menstrual products in his room, on His desk, etc. Wrapped in clear Saran Wrap. When he complains say it’s just natural stuff, it’s not hurting him.
Not wrong. He needs to be punished for tormenting his sister.
You said that’s what would happen… follow thru or else you are going to lose later. He won’t believe whatever punishment.. grounding etc will happen later.
Updateme
You would NOT be wrong. You would be wrong not to follow through.
I believe in creative punishments, making them fit the crime, but not abusive. When my son was being a bully to those less fortunate than himself, I made him volunteer every week at the local food bank. When he intentionally scared an old lady, I made him mow her lawn and pull the weeds in her flowerbeds all summer. Creative punishments that fit the "crime" are absolutely genious!!!
Do it!!!
Not wrong but you need to do more than just that before he becomes a future rapist
You’re letting your son be a bully. Why did this get to go on after once?
You HAVE to FOLLOW THROUGH!
Otherwise, your words mean NOTHING!
Your son KNOWS the consequences, YOU told him!
For what it’s worth, if ANYONE burped or farted near my face, I’d beat them bloody! It’s freaking DISGUSTING, DISRESPECTFUL, and UNHYGIENIC!
He needs consequences!
This is 100% bullying. He’s taking joy in her suffering. Whatever you have him smell, it isn’t going to kill him. But it will give him a taste (or scent) of his own medicine. I say full steam ahead. Warp factor 10!
NOT WRONG. You gotta follow up on this. He should learn his lesson.
Hide a smear on his pillow
He may never own a dog again but that will do the trick
I say this as a loving dog mom who’s pup has over active anal glands. She can clear a room…and lap sitting is worse than real Russia roulette.
I’m sleepy, so my petty is coming out… you could put a dab on his pillow. So mean… 😆 don’t do it, but he def deserves some tat for his tit.
Do onto others as you want done onto you. So in otherwords. He wants people to make him smell nasty crap. Put out into the universe what you wish to receive in return.
YWNBTA.
Do it. Teach the kid a lesson in manners he sorely needs.
What he is doing is being a BULLY. He needs to learn to respect personal boundaries.
However, he should be punished appropriately and not with the same bully behavior and tactics.
DO NOT BACK DOWN FROM THIS! Sometimes young men need to learn empathy the hard way. And this will be the hard way.
You have threatened punishment and son has carried on being gross ,you have to follow through now or he will know there are no consequences of his actions, your daughter deserves for this to stop
Have the daughter smash up his game console and when he bleats about it she can tell him it’s funny and he needs to get over it.
I’m a dog bather and am very intimate with the smell, and I say do it. He’s old enough. He’ll be fine.
I was thinking about expressions 💀 as soon as you said vet tech. Absolutely do it
What are you going to do with it? If it’s only just SMELL it then it is absolutely the correct punishment.
You are acting like a child not a parent! Sounds like your family needs some counseling to help with raising kids
I have to say, if I had a student tell me their parent did this, as a mandated reporter I would have to make a call to report it.
Your son needs to learn to respect other people. You might want to take his phone (possibly as a better punishment) and figure out what he is watching/talking about/being influenced by and address that issue as well.
You aren’t wrong but some of the folks in this thread and over the top nuts.
Remember this is a 14 year old not a grown man. Yes! Mom should teach him how to respect others but some of you are acting like he’s one step away from being a r*pist 🙄
As a little sister, I have to know how this ends lol
You’re not hurting him, it’s just a smell,like he said. 15 is way to old to be doing that kind of shit to a little 11 year old. Surprise him with it and leave a sample in his pillowcase. He’ll learn.
I would find a different punishment. You’re making yourself as bad as he is.
You would be wrong, if you didn’t teach him what feeling grossed out feels to others. That’s teaching empathy. Making a child understand and feel what others feel. He keeps abusing, if lacks the feeling of being on the other end. Duh.
Please take a video of this event and post it here!
Just tell your son what he told your daughter…
"I’m not hurting you, it’s just a smell. It’s funny and you needs to get over it"
In this case no. Your son is being a bully.
If unchecked, he will become an asshole of a human being and the next progression is violent behavior towards women.
If he were my kid, he would be given a warning on the first one and explained that his behavior is shameful to himself and his family.
If there was a next time, there would be a smack with a reiteration of the lesson, and explanation that such behavior would result in the same consequence as they just got so they don’t get smacked by societal laws which are much harsher.
Teach your son a lesson on boundaries & consent. Follow thru on your promise to level the field—you cannot brush this off. Boys who start like this regarding consent turn into dangerous men.
IDC if that sounds like an overreaction—I’m old enough to remember these types of young boys & to observe the men they grew into bcuz this type of behavior wasn’t curbed & corrected 🙁
Just do the same to him plus some. Rancid can of sardines under his bed? Better yet, his pillow. Of course there are going to be mixed opinions of this situation but sometimes the best way is the direct and sometimes extreme. (IMO)
Find his fear and exploit it. Mwahahaha!
Nope, not too harsh. He asked for it. What he is doing is bullying his sister, and that needs to be cut off at the knees.
Go for it. He isn’t listening to her when she says stop. This is a big lesson. There needs to be some consequences.
As for your choice of odor… ugh. My daughter’s dog expressed herself on a long distance car ride in my daughter’s lap. It was not a pleasant time.
He is WAY too old to be this far behind on the concept of consent. Not to get too dark here, but him causing harm to women for his own entertainment? If he doesn’t learn his lesson TODAY, I could easily see this slippery sloping to him sexually assaulting someone.