I (16M) recently got my first phone from my parents. They told me that one of the conditions for having it was that I have to share my location with them at all times. This feels like an invasion of my privacy, but they insist that it’s just for my safety. I’m very responsible, I get good grades, I have never sneaked out, this doesn’t feel reasonable to me. I have tried having calm conversations about it, and I have pointed out that I always tell them where I’m going, but they are holding firm. I don’t actually have an issue with them knowing where I am, but the idea of them knowing where I am instantly just through looking up my phone makes me uncomfortable.
I have an idea for how to express how I feel about it, I plan to buy a novelty prisoner costume for the ankle tag, roll up my leg to show the tag, and tell them this is a symbolic representation of how I feel over the location tracking. Luckily I saw the kind of costume I’m looking for in a shop. The ankle tag is plastic, has a blinking red light, and straps around your ankle with velcro. It’s super fake-looking, but perfect for what I want to say.
But I don’t know if this is a good idea. I want to make a point but I’m not sure how they will react. Am I just being disrespectful or could this be a good idea? I just want to hear other’s thoughts.
TL;DR: My parents are making me share my phone location 24/7. I want to protest by wearing a fake ankle tag at breakfast to make a point. Not sure if it’s clever or too much.
Comments
Thank you u/ResearcherTop5062 for posting on r/AskParents. All post titles must be in the form of a question.
Posts that do not conform to the subreddit rules are subject to removal at the discretion of a moderator.
Remember to read the rules and report rule breaking posts.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Kind of humorous but wouldn’t change my mind about anything as a parent.
I am way on the relaxed side with my 17-year-old (I don’t give her curfews, she can pretty much go where she wants), and I have her share her phone location with me. It’s a pretty basic safety thing.
If they’re paying for your phone, they have the right to put conditions on it.
Actually getting a prisoner costume to put on a whole little show about how upset you are at a really minor rule is just going to look immature and not help your case at all.
Have they expressed why they want to know your location? Outside of a general “for your safety” comment. It really could be that, but unfortunately until you either A) pay for your own phone or B) decide to stop using it, I don’t think there’s anyway to avoid it. Are they concerned you’ll be getting into trouble or a just in case type thing?
Depending on your parents, this idea might just not change anything. Maybe offer a compromise of immediately replying to them where you are (or if heading to a situation where you won’t be able to reply like movies etc.) inform them ahead of time and if you don’t after x times then turn on location. But as a parent to a 2 year old, her being a teenager terrifies me. I’d probably have the same rule, at least while I’m paying for the phone and they’re under 18. Is it different from the days of old? Yes. But that doesn’t change my mind really about it.
Tons of kids have location finders on. The large majority of parents never look at them. Honestly, the worlds a shitty place and bad things happen. As long as you aren’t doing anything bad… who cares if they want to know your location. Someday, you may really need them to know where you are. Your response is fairly immature.
As a parent, this is extremely reasonable. People are psycho out there. Too many horrible things have happened to children/teenagers. I don’t think they want to know your location to keep tabs on you because of trust, I think they want it because they want to know you’re safe and where you’re supposed to be, not somewhere in Mexico lol believe me when I say (and I hated hearing this when I was a teen) but you will understand when you’re a parent lol it’s a scary world out there and they want to make sure you’re safe because they love you more than anything.
I’m on your parent’s side. When our daughter starts driving that will be a requirement for her until she becomes an adult. Parents worry about their kids 24/7. What they are demanding is not unreasonable, you’re still a teen.
Their house their rules. Not to mention they are paying for the phone.
Honestly, really immature. Might make them reconsider some privileges you may have.
It’s not a big deal. Think of it this way, if you call your parents because you need help but don’t know where you are, they can still get to you.
It is not a violation of privacy to want your child to be safe. What if, God forbid, something bad happens and your parents need to find you? Even if your phone is taken or or broken they can use the last known location.
Almost everyone I know has to have their shared location on. It seems reasonable to me.
Plus the idea of wearing a fake tag seems very silly to me, very immature
It’s a safety thing. It’s their phone that they pay for that they let you have. The real reason you got it in the first place wasn’t because you’re such a good boy, it’s so that you can call your parents if you end up in a sketchy or dangerous situation. The location tracking is for the same reason.
Basically, from a parent, don’t be a jerk about it, enjoy your new phone, it was a gift, and yeah you have to share your location. Or you could just… go back to not having a phone.
Dude, they understand your point they just don’t agree with it. Your little protest will just make them upset and not make them budge on this.
Your idea is silly and wouldn’t make me budge. Sharing your location with your parents is pretty normal and common. Leave your phone behind if you are sneaking out or going somewhere that you shouldn’t be.
It has nothing to do with needing to know where you are, it is about knowing that you are safe.
It would actually reinforce the idea that you need yo be tracked showing how young you are by doing this. I would just accept it and see how it goes, its likely they will only check it when they dont hear from you. I would find it more mature to accept it but request that they show they trust you as well just as you will trust them to share where you are 24/7 maybe make it an informal agreement that they will only track you when you don’t respond on your phone. Of course they can track you any time, but having an more grown conversation explaining you feel uncomfortable (without crying and starting drama) just that you feel uncomfortable because it makes you feel they dont trust you and that you have been honest with them etc, but from a safety persoective you accept it and would appreciate if they would track you only when they really are unable to reach you or ask where you are.
To me that would prove to be more mature and trust creating than a protest wearing a costume. Good luck!
That would be incredibly immature and would make me double down on the location thing. They’re making a reasonable demand as you are a minor and they’re paying for your phone. The best way to prove your maturity is to accept their decision.
lol. I’d just take the phone back. You sound ungrateful.
You’re a minor – you don’t have any privacy other than what your parents choose to afford you.
As others have said, it’s about safety. My kid has a phone and has no expectation of any kind of privacy on it.
Kids and teens make stupid mistakes. They have always made mistakes, no matter how good grades are, how trustworthy, or whether they had phones with them or not. Parents have a few important jobs, one of which is to keep kids safe and healthy. Location tracking is pretty innocuous, especially for kids who are always where they say they will be. They aren’t called the blunder years for nothing.
Phones are a tool, for better or for worse they have significant plusses and minuses. Your parents put a dangerous tool in your hand that opens you up to risks you would not otherwise be exposed to.
Your ankle monitor idea is hilarious, but won’t prove the point you think it will. Seems like a waste of money for a story you’ll be laughing about in a few years.
My whole family has location sharing through Life360. I can see where my teenagers are, and they can see where I am. It’s just a safety measure. If someone gets lost or isn’t responding, we can see where they’re at. We don’t actually check locations very often, unless someone is running late or something.
Initially I felt weird about my kids and husband being able to see my location. There was no real reason for it to be a problem, it just felt a little invasive. But it was a knee-jerk reaction that wasn’t based on an actual concern, and I got past it pretty quickly.
Dressing up like you’re under house arrest because your parents want information that you’re willing to give them anyway seems immature. They’re just automating the system. I don’t want an hourly check-in text from my kid… I just want to be able to check real quick and make sure she’s okay, if needed.
When you buy your own phone and pay for your own service, this won’t be a problem. Until then, just enjoy your privilege.
Don’t do that. I get how it feels to have someone know where you are. In reality, they already knew because you told them. Nothing has changed at all for you assuming that you’ve always told them the truth about where you’re going.
When you’ve gone out in the past, they asked or you volunteered where you were going. Zero has changed. In the future, if you decide to change locations from where you told them you were going, I suggest sending them a text in advance. Don’t give them a reason to track you. The novelty of using the app will wear off, and they will trust that they know where you are going next because you texted them. They won’t even check the app.
When I a kid in pre cell phone days, my agreement with my parents was that they didn’t much care where I went (I was a good kid too), as long as they knew where I was. If my friends and I decided to change locations, I called home to let them know where I was going next. If I was going to get home later than anticipated, I called home to tell them the updated time to expect me. Trust was never an issue between us.
Sweetie… You’re a teenager. I know that you feel grown-up, and responsible; However, there are billions of other people in this world who aren’t as responsible, and instead are the pure definition of evil. If one day your parents can’t reach you, they could locate you and possibly save you from these evil people.
This will give your parents a sense of peace, and give you even more freedom, not less. Especially, with you being responsible.
This is the perfect example of immaturity and why people need to remember that teenagers are immature and make poor decisions due to that 😫.
But no OP, don’t. Just turn it on. In this day and age, they need to know. There’s been a string of teenage kidnapping/trafficking in my city and my 17yr old daughter is still allowed out but she has tracking on and that Google thing that let’s me turn on her phone and also turn on the ringer from silent.
I totally understand where you’re coming from. When I was growing up, and for MANY lifetimes before then, we didn’t do any of this stuff.
The one side I do see an advantage to is if something comes up and you find yourself unsafe. When I was a kid, I would be all over the map with friends and have no clue where specifically I was other than the town. If you found yourself in a situation, with GPS tracking, there is no painfully stressful conversation of calling your parents and trying to describe where you are to them. They just need to look at the map and BAM there you are. Two more taps and they have the route on their phone, contact police with accurate coordinations, and people can get to you a lot faster. I know there are a lot of adults who were younger and found themselves out of town and in a situation that could get hairy situation that they either managed to avoid or it turned into a crazy story to tell later. Which could have been avoided if a proper lifeline was available.
You keep mentioning “compromise” but your “compromise” is not having your location on, which isn’t a compromise, it’s doing the opposite of what they’re asking. You’re a minor, I’m assuming they pay for your phone, you don’t really have a choice.
If anything, start with your location on. Use it to build even more trust than you already have and then later you can approach the subject but be prepared for them to still say no.
Parents wanting their kids to share their location is madness ! Ask them how their parents knew where they were when they were kids.
If you can’t teach your kids to be honest about where they are going or are then you failed as a parent.
Knowing where they are doesn’t make them safer, what can you control if you are not physically there !!
All it does is teach kids they are not trustworthy and if they want to do something behind your back they will turn the location off.
Trust your kids until they give you a reason not to trust them !!
It’s a bad idea and won’t help you in your fight for your privacy.
I doubt the ankle tag will do anything.
I would ask your parents what they would need to not track your location. For example, currently they have given you a phone with the condition that they can track you with it. This implies that if you are willing to give up your phone, or leave it behind when you go anywhere, they won’t track you. Perhaps they can consider other times when they won’t track you – for example, in two years you’ll be 18. Will they still track you then? What if you save up money and buy your own phone – will they track that?
Come to an understanding of when they will be willing to stop tracking you, and keep that in mind.
In the short-term, it seems as though your options are to either have a phone and accept the tracking, or not have a phone.
I’m not sure you’re mature enough to have a phone…
If my kid did this it would be met with laughter and light teasing
If I bought my kid a phone and they were that much of an ungrateful drama-queen about some basic safety precautions they wouldn’t have the phone any more.