Would you be open to teaching someone with little sexual experience, or do you prefer being with someone who already has a lot of experience? Feel free to share why!
Would you be open to teaching someone with little sexual experience, or do you prefer being with someone who already has a lot of experience? Feel free to share why!
r/AskWomen
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Someone with experience as I’m inexperienced myself. I’d prefer a confident partner who knows their way around a woman’s body.
I’m open to teaching someone what I like, I’d prefer someone with similar experience as myself. I’ve very little patience with younger folk, so I’d rather have someone as weathered as I am.
I don’t care about their experience or lack thereof. I care about their approach to intimacy. If they can take direction and are actively trying this to make the best experience possible for both of us. If they can’t communicate their needs and wants, and listen to mine, then I personally wouldn’t want them as a sexual partner
Just depends. I had a partner who was inexperienced and I tried showing him what I like and there were some things he got good at and some things he just never got good at. It ended up not working out because sex would just always end up disappointing for me (yes I was very patient and encouraging and made sure to completely satisfy him every time, just didn’t get it back). After that I realized it’s just easier to be with someone experienced that only needs to learn what I like and do it, rather than learning HOW to do what I like
My body is not something to be “taught” on, its not a teaching tool.
100% someone who is already experienced and whose comfortable around a woman’s body.
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I would say I don’t care what their experience level is so long as we can communicate effectively. If we can listen to each other and talk openly that’s great! I just want to have fun and a good time and we can accomplish that if we work together.
My partner had no experience prior, and I love it. Doesn’t define how a person will be in bed. I’ve slept with people who had a fair amount of experience, who weren’t all that great. It’s a person to person thing, not about how much experience they have.
I think it comes down to individual chemistry between two people rather than experience. I’ve had partners far more experienced than I am who were awful in bed. I’ve had partners far less experienced who were phenomenal. It’s also worth noting that a persons capacity to intuitively read someone else’s body is not something that can be taught, nor can consideration for another’s pleasure.
Totally depends on what kind of experience they have and how they reflect on it
Experience doesn’t equal expertise. I’ve got no preference on this tbh. I want an enthusiastic, mature partner that’s willing and wanting. The rest can be worked out consensually.
Feel free to share
whyA.I.it depends as long as enthusiasm and willingness to please is there. I value that more than experience itself.
That being said, I am less interested to teach someone from total scratch. Or, the person must really be worth the try, like being a potential lifelong partner.
For me it’s not about how experienced they are, it’s about if they are willing to learn or not.
How many stories have we heard of guys remixing the labia like a frat party DJ and asking her if she came?
These people are “experienced” so as to say but they completely lack the skill set needed to make their ladies go wild.
So I don’t mind doing the deed with a virgin guy (in fact that’s what I would prefer as it helps to prevent STDs) but they MUST be open to learning. I cannot stand shy guys.
I need someone with experience. I don’t have the patience to train/teach someone anymore. In my experience when someone is newer they are more self conscious and unwilling to try new things. Which is fine. Everyone is allowed to go in their own pace. But I want someone at my level who isn’t going to look at me like I have two heads when I tell them what I need.
I dated someone who had only been with one other person. It didn’t last long. Tried but I’d like someone who knows what they’re doing . Selfish yes , just preference.
I prefer experience, but I don’t mind teaching as long as they don’t mind being taught.
Some people are naturally good lovers regardless of experience. They just need the basics. Others have been sexually active for years and are TERRIBLE.
LOL! Could I even imagine a world where I’m the sexually educated one with all the tips and tricks? Me, the girl who’s 24 and has only been with three guys. 🤣🤣🤣
i’m 40. i’m not training another man.
Don’t care as long as the communication is there. Communication and willingness to change (if needed) is the important thing.
I don’t mind guiding people if they’re open to learning and putting in the work. The past two people I’ve been with were less experienced than me. In my experience it’s about how in tune you are with each other. People can’t read your mind and vice versa. Everyone has their own preferences too. It can be awkward if they’re inexperienced, but that doesn’t bother me so much as long as they are eager to do better. I’m 28 though, so maybe that might change with age.
I’m not a teacher in any capacity.
Might be the odd ball but I perfer less experienced as someone who is less experienced. I dont mind teaching either, if I had much to teach to someone in the same boat or I magically had more experience.
I like the reaction we both can share when trying new things together. Its just a different than being with someone who already tried everything or knows everything.
But I’ll admit this applies to not only intimacy but hobbies and events. I rather dive right into something new with someone in the same boat without exceptions. I perfer watching people try new things for the first time rather than someone who’s a pro at it if its just entertainment. The reaction is just much more enjoyable.
I prefer a partner with above average experience. Very little experience tells me that good sex may not be too important for the person, they have some hang-ups about it or they are not curious enough about sex (that may translate to life in general).
I’m old. I want a partner who knows what she likes and can communicate it.
I would absolutely not prefer teaching someone because the last time I did, he became infatuated on an abusive level. I don’t mean this as a compliment. He DOES. NOT. LEAVE. ME. ALONE. GIVES ME NO SPACE. No matter how many times and places I’ve blocked him from. He has become so obsessive, he keeps circling my house and keeps asking me whether he could come even though I’ve made it very explicitly clear that it will NOT happen again.
I was the first girl for two younger guys and it was amazing! I got to teach them, I got to help them with performance anxiety, helpt them relax, it was all super sexy and then they knew what to do with ME. They used me-knowledge on ME and it was so damn good. They knew exactly what to do because I told them to. So good.
Still, the most amazing sex I had in my life was with my current boyfriend. Love is likely a huge part of why it is so good, but so is our experience with each other bodies. He was already good before the love and experience joined us, it just takes time for a grown experienced man to leave some „my ex liked it” habits behind lol.
If I had to have one night stands only and no love ever, I’d probably just go for virgin guys for the fun of it.
A lot of experience does not mean they are good. Selfish lovers are the worst. I worry about you and you worry about me… it doesn’t matter how much experience someone has.
Teaching is fun to anyone who is receptive. It’s those that get offended that make it not fun.
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Doesn’t matter because we need to be able to communicate with each other. I don’t care how “experienced” someone is. Sex isn’t one size fits all
Every partner has different preferences anyway, so the important thing is that someone is willing to listen and take direction on technique without getting defensive/huffy about it.
The only reason experience is preferred is that with experience comes confidence and the skill to communicate well with your partner.
It isn’t about the experience as in “body count”; it’s experience as is “this is a situation I have been in before and I know my body well enough that I can focus my awareness on my partner and their reactions to work towards a mutually pleasurable and fun experience”.
You don’t actually need ”experience” for that though if you have slowly worked up to that level of ease and comfort/ unguarded-ness with your partner. It’s more about trust and respect.
These days, someone with experience. I’ve been there, done that having to teach partners in the past and I’m over it. We can always tweak to my personal preferences but I prefer a partner who knows what he’s doing
I don’t mind either way but once I hooked up w a guy who was a virgin and he didn’t tell me that was his first time until after we did it. If I had known it was his first time I probably would’ve taken the lead a bit more
Very first experience, hell yeah. The look on their face of seeing boobs live for the first time. Priceless.
But second time to …. Let’s say adequate level. Hell no. Hard pass. I was my exes first. Everything was already so exciting for him, that he preferred to do the exact same thing over and over again. It was so incredibly boring and predictable. I could not get him to my level, because there was no drive in him to experiment. The sex itself was already one big experiment to him. It’s like being an amazing chef, and your guest just wants fries and ketchup. Yes you can serve fries and ketchup once for a change. You might even like it for a few times for a change. But if it’s all they want, you feel your skills are just wasted.
Until it normalized for him, it was was so incredibly mediocre at best. And by that time, I lost my passion.
At this big age of 27, no. I need the guy to have some sort of experience. Walking someone step by step through sex sounds exhausting.
Dick is dick
I was with someone who had very little experience(only has had one gf probably short lived, and had one fling that lasted a week). I taught him some things and then every time after that he gave me an orgasm! So there’s that lol. I guess I don’t mind either way though.
Teaching these things is fun if your partner is eager to learn, and accepts guidance well!
But it is like pulling teeth if they are too self conscious to ask what you need, and dont listen to suggestions.
I would much rather explore and learn with a partner with a good attitude than have somebody who was very skilled but didn’t listen to me.
I don’t need someone who is experienced. I need someone who listens and can take constructive criticism and learn from it.
I was with a really young guy who was so open to trying things and wanted tips or to make sure he was doing what I liked. He was open to learning and just gathering information.
I was with a guy closer to my age who, when I said I needed a little more foreplay, got defensive and said, “well, I guess I’m just not good enough for you then” and we broke up. Buddy, the lack of wetness and the need to always use lube is not an issue I’ve had with anyone else. Also, if you refuse to go down on me, it will be all I fantasize about and this will never work.
My current partner has taken any hint, tiktok video, reddit post, or dirty meme I’ve sent him and tried it. If he liked the response, it is part of our sex now. It is the best sex I’ve ever had.
I prefer experienced partners. Naivete is not a turn on to me, and I like someone highly skilled. The idea of teaching someone in the bedroom is actually quite off-putting to me. I like to have a “we are already both damn good at what we do” sort of equal experience. Sure we each might have a few tricks up our sleeves the other hasn’t seen, but all the foundational, intermediate, and advanced knowledge should already be there. That said, don’t feel bad or anything if you’re not experienced. This is just one opinion of someone who is already happily married. There’s plenty of people out there who don’t care about experience, or are virgins, or prefer to fuck for love. There’s someone compatible for everyone.
Had a partner who was a virgin, both sexually and relationship wise. Never again(54 now and going to get married in the autumn, so I think I’m good). The reason …. I’m not an easy person due to sexual and just .. traumas. To have someone who just takes and rarely gives, plus who doesn’t even try to figure things out himself … Nah, not again. Tbh, if would have probably been different if he had shown interest to learn, to take the reins of his sexual education in his own hands, but no. It was the beginning of the internet, of Google, everything was in reach. Nope, I had to chew it all for him. No initiative nor informing himself. In that regard, we were no match. It was draining to carry and regurgitate every information or act for him. I had to step way too far and too often over my boundaries, I felt it was all my fault for not being a good enough girlfriend. The relationship wasn’t 100/100 as it should be.
It’s nice to be with someone with a lot of experience that you have good chemistry with. Someone with little or no experience, but has good chemistry could easily be taught as well. It just comes down to the chemistry and how much I like them.
I prefer experienced. Don’t have time to be teaching a grown adult anything
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If i genuinely like the person and im there for a relationship i dont care, if its just for sex id probably want someone with the same experience
When I was younger I would (and have), but once I hit 21 or so I was too horny & impatient 😂.
It’s less so the teaching & more so that I’m kinky & not super big on more vanilla sex. And people less expirienced are less likely to be ready to explore that yet (if ever).
I was open to do so back when I started dating, gathered experience with some inexperienced people and then luckily met my (inexperienced) husband.
It was always more important to me that a partner wants to actually experience sexuality in a manner that’s great for all participants. This isn’t linked to experience.
I’m not open to “teach” someone anymore because I’m monogamous and married.
I personally do not care as long as there is consent and boundaries i think both at very fun! But I wouldn’t get with a virgin again nothing personal just not interested in emotional attachment if it’s just sex
Either way, as long as a connection and enthusiasm is there.
I’m in my late 40s and dgaf about how much sex or how many partners a man has had. Entirely irrelevant. I do care very much if he’s capable of monogamy. I also understand that many people were…unrestrained in their youth, myself included, and that has zero impact on current ability to be faithful.
A virgin near my age would promt two questions: why is he still a virgin, and will he someday develop confidence and a desire to sow some wild oats after gaining experience with me. That last one is realistically my main concern. Of course if he’s a 40 yr old virgin, there’s a good chance that whatever turned off other women, will also turn me off. This would typically be misogynistic attitudes. Or very poor personal hygiene.
A man who got all his wild oats out of his system decades ago is in no way a disqualifier, even into 4 digit numbers. A former porn star might be iffy, but not bc of “body count”. Huge dongs can be painful and I am fond of piv.
It doesn’t matter. More experience with a partner and you learn how to be better/how to pleasure them! Most importantly, have enthusiasm
Of the 3 men I’ve ever slept with, all of them have been virgins. It would be nice for someone to know what they’re doing off the get go, but after a few months of any relationship they’re bound to figure things out
My husband was a virgin and didn’t have a lot of experience. I don’t have a preference as I would have loved him regardless, but I’m glad I got to be the one he learned with because it meant he wasn’t subjected to some of the trauma I was and he had a safe experience. Our sex life is healthy and he is a great partner.
At some point, you have to teach a new partner about you and what works for you and what you like. So in that sense yes, I’d be willing to teach them. But I prefer someone with more experience. I like someone who is confident and has a good working knowledge
I’m a guy and my wife taught me what it means to be a lover.
New partners always have to teach each other. Experience with other bodies is irrelevant because they aren’t me. Experience is also not correlated to being a good lover.
Good lovers are curious, confident students, regardless of how much experience they’ve had.