I’m in the US and yes, I intend to get a prenup. Every state has a de facto prenuptial agreement about finances. The things that are called “prenups” are just a way for the couple to personalize that financial plan. It seems obvious to me that there should be a plan about finances.
My parents gave us the substantial down payment to our home. I had a lawyer draw up something that said, if we break up, I get the down payment back and we would split the remaining profits from the house.
No regrets. My mom was clear when she gave me the money. She said “this is for YOU. So if you break up, I still want you to have it”
Seems fair to me. My husband didn’t mind signing it.
No, my husband and I were both poor when we married. We don’t believe in divorce for ourselves, unless in the cases of abuse or cheating, something that breaks the relationship apart in that way.
We are confident in each other and have a very close relationship. That doesn’t mean our relationship won’t be strained at all- we’ve had moments in time where we were definitely strained and struggled to meet eye to eye. But we’ve had perseverance, growth, understanding, and patience, and so much more that’s come out of staying true to our marriage vows.
So no, we didn’t do it for our relationship. But I understand that not everyone has a relationship like that, and so prenups are necessary in quite a few marriages.
Yes. Whether marrying someone with money or being a person with money, if there is a financial imbalance a prenup is important protection and created a financial agreement made when the couple is in a more positive and healthy state.
It also dictates how you plan on handling that imbalance in the marriage and creates discussions many people never discuss otherwise.
It isn’t about distrust it’s about healthy and hard conversations.
50% of marriages and up in divorce. Everyone thinks they’re in a great relationship until they’re not. Everyone thinks they’re dating someone reasonable until they’re not.
Sure. I don’t have a lot of assets but I have some and would want to protect them. But this is hypothetical for me since it’s unlikely I’ll get married.
I wouldn’t marry someone if I felt the need to get a prenup. The person I’m married to has shown me how generous they are regarding assets and finances before we even got married.. so I trust my marriage.
Absolutely. I’m all for assets gained together in marriage being split but if one comes into the relationship with far more, it’s fair to leave with them.
Never been married but always said I would because I don’t want to take anything from any one and I don’t want them taking my shit either. I just want friendship and love.
I’ve seen so many relationships that seemed like end game fail. I’ve had a few I thought I’d die with that the feelings just withered away. You never know what will happen 10 years down the line. Better safe than sorry and save all the drama down the line.
I got married 9 years ago and did not get a prenup, and I probably still wouldn’t today. I didn’t really come into the marriage with anything I wasn’t willing to lose. I had a mortgage prior to meeting him, but even if we split, I’d still want to give him half the value of a house sale so he could at least have something to restart his life with. Even if he did something horrible like cheating, I’d still not wish him to be homeless. Revenge does nothing for me.
Yes. we got a prenup. We both came from divorced families. We understand that the unforeseen can happen and it would be in both our best interests to make difficult choices now while we are happy and in love rather than down the road when we could be angry and spiteful (not very characteristic of either of us but again, the unforeseen can’t be seen). Here’s to all the what-ifs being covered!
In addition, to a prenup we got a lot of other legal shit sorted at the same time. Power of attorney and all that jazz.
No because first of all I don’t have that much. Secondly I’m getting married for life. My future husband isn’t divorcing me. I’m going to take his ass to therapy over and over again until we figure it out.
I don’t think a prenup would really be useful for my individual situation, but I generally see them as a practical thing and am open to it if my partner wanted one.
I would not. I would just go with a long engagement. I dated for 5 and was engaged for 2.5 before getting married. He failed to run and it’s been 10 years. We got married so I could cover him with my health insurance.
Yes I would. I would also ensure that both parties have their Last Will & Testament in order. I am speaking from experience because I was once the young idealist/idiot who thought these things did not really matter and it actually kinda ruined this widow’s life. So, take the advice or don’t, but I hate to see people suffer unnecessarily when it is so easy to protect yourself from more suffering.
A prenup is meant to protect BOTH people.
I’ve put a great deal of thought into this and I’d absolutely agree to a prenup or issue one of my own but the draw up would have to be
anything that they own before our engagement/ nuptials.. be it land, accounts, furniture etc would remain theirs if we split up and anything that was mine before would also remain mine.
Any land, money, property or otherwise we may come into post nuptials would be split 50/50 or liquidated and the money from said things would be split 50/50.
Gifts remain gifts, i don’t expect anything I give to be given back. I would ideally expect the same.
if we have children there will be absolutely 0 squabbling over them. The time will be split as close to 50/50 as we can get it given both of us are able to provide a stable environment for the child(ren). Visits will always be encouraged even if they remarry and this is also only if everyone remains stable and new spouse is vetted and has been around the children in group settings beforehand for at least 6mos.
any issues we have shouldn’t be posted on social media. It’s a two person relationship, it doesn’t need the input of 30 nosey strangers. It’s about mutual respect and not putting any mutual loved ones in the middle of our bullshit.
I think people see prenuptial agreements as one person protecting themselves but they are supposed to be structured fairly. I think of it as discussing divorce terms while you like eachother. Also, if you ever do want out you are not walking away and figuring it out you will know what to expect. They also have sunshine laws so you need to update them every now and agian.
We’re getting married next month, and we’re both coming in with significant inheritance money. We were reluctantly convinced to prenup that money for the just in case scenario that we don’t expect.
We plan to pool our paychecks for household and potential children expenses.
My husband had more money than me when we got married so I wasn’t bothered but if I had more money, absolutely 100% mandatory.
People can change over time. Hell someone can hit their head and become a completely different person. A prenup is simply a safety net. It’s like insurance that you only pay for once. If there are no problems in the marriage, then it doesn’t come into play. So no problem.
This is location dependent though, I know prenups don’t work everywhere.
Absolutely. Prenups are protection. It’s not all about what you currently have. It’s about what you build together. I definitely want my part if something happens. And if he cheats or does any number of audacious things I want to be protected against that too. All of that can go in a prenup.
Yeah. Mostly bc the money in my bank accounts needs to stay mine (I have quite a bit more than my SO). And my SO has the house in his name and would want to keep it if we split – which is fair.
Yes. Expect the best and prepare for the worst. If your marriage starts going south it’s nice to know you have some protections in place. So that if they try getting petty you know there is almost so much they can do. It’s nice to know you won’t be completely screwed over if you end up unexpectedly single.
I would never get married without one and would not recommend that anyone does. I am an attorney and people lose their minds when it comes to divorce or estates. What a prenup does is ensures that any difficult decision is made ahead of time. Not getting one is just drastically increasing the chances that you have to waste a huge amount of money paying at attorney if things go wrong. And you cannot predict which marriages will last and which won’t. It’s impossible. You will never know if someone is going to cheat, turn abusive, develop a gambling addiction or a drug habit, whatever. You also cannot predict which people will make a divorce easy and who is going to get upset and decide to make your life hell. People like this are subsidizing divorce attorneys.
It protects everyone. If the other person wants to be unreasonable, it is very easy for them to cause a huge hassle which will require you to spend large amounts of money on legal fees. If you’re fine with a divorce dragging on for years and costing tens of thousands of dollars, then you don’t need a prenup. It sure benefits divorce attorneys for you to not have one. But I think not having one is a pretty irrational decision. It’s like insurance. You may never need it. But having it prevents you from experiencing a complete disaster if something goes wrong. No one says that getting car insurance is planning to wreck the car. It just makes everything way easier if something bad happens and that is what a prenup is for. It’s a ready made plan for if a divorce happens, and if there’s not a plan, things can get nasty and extremely expensive. No thanks. I would never risk it. I am not sure people realize what the consequences to a nasty contested divorce really can look like, and no one expects it to happen to them, but you never really know if it will be you or not. Unless you get a prenup.
I refuse to get married without a prenup. I’m not splitting my money or assets if we’re divorcing and I want to be able to protect the things I earn during the marriage too. I like my money, i worked for everything I have. I don’t believe in “prenup means you’re planning on divorce or prenup means you’re not confident in who you’re marrying”. Shit happens and people’s feeling can change no matter how in love they were. No one PLANS to breakup. Protect yourself
In addition I will be adding an infidelity clause & something in regards to the lottery. I play often and people get really weird in regards to large amounts of money
If I ever get married again, yes. My parents are in their 70s and unwell. I will come into a substantial sum (to me) once they pass, and while inheritance isn’t community property, that applies if you receive it after marriage.
It’s important to my dad that the acreage stays in the family, so it’s in a trust and is safe. I think it’s a moot concern anyway since I haven’t been in a relationship for the last five years; my last ended with serious issues of trust. I don’t see myself marrying ever again.
Absolutely. Zero question. Not that I want to ever get married again, but I wish I’d gotten one for my first marriage. I would have been in a MUCH better situation now. (Parents helped with down payment, etc. We sold the marital home and it was incredibly painful to see my ex get half of the proceeds.)
Yes. Things happen, and especially where one of both of us are likely coming in with not only potentially assets but student debt, I feel like it’s better to be safe than sorry.
Yes. Very pro prenup. My parents were divorced when I was still pretty young and I ended up hearing them complain about finances back and forth after the fact.
I was also incredibly naive and purchased a home with a boyfriend awhile back and failed to secure a written agreement about what would happen to our house if we split. I’ve just about wrapped up a partition lawsuit with him finally. He had no intention of paying me what he owed me.
I felt like I saw first hand what happens when all those lovey dovey feelings are gone and all that’s left is the cold hard practicality of dividing the assets. It’s better to have that agreement written while the love is still there.
I don’t plan to get in a car accident but I have auto insurance, don’t plan to have a flood but I have renters insurance plus after watching my parents collectively divorce 3 times…yeah I asked for a prenup and no my partner was not offended whatsoever
Yes. Men always talk about how they want a prenup but I don’t think they expect us to add to it. And we should! I highly recommend women hire their own attorney to add clauses guaranteeing financial support if she sacrifices her own career for the spouse (this includes childrearing). For example, a stay at home mom should have regular contributions to her own retirement account from the husband.
I have saved a lot (to date) and men I’ve met / dated have been surprising lot open with how they would like to use that money. I would not even move in with a partner now without documenting a separation of assets from the point we move in.
I also have various types of insurance, I joined a union, I have a will and an end of life directive. I always wear a seat belt, take self-defence, drive defensively and always know how to exit and/or hide in a building/room just in case of an active shooter.
You can’t predict the unexpected, but you can prepare for it. That’s how I view pre-nups. I would rather be prepared and not need it, then caught in the worst case scenario and not know what to do.
If the unexpected happens and this person I adore becomes someone I hate or it turns out they aren’t who I thought they were, I will at least have legal and financial protections in place
Absolutely. I don’t have much, so I have to protect every penny. Also, the idea of losing a home that I love is terrifying to me. I don’t own a home, but if I ever do, doing everything in my power to keep it would be extremely important.
Absolutely. Something I read recently that solidified my mind, is that in the event of a divorce, the state is going to determine how everything is divided which may or may not be what you and your spouse want. A prenup guarantees that in the event of a divorce, both parties come out satisfied (or more so than if the government applied blanket rules).
I would. My husband cheated on me with over 20 women while pregnant. I never woulda thought in a million years he would do that after 14 years, so expect the unexpected? Thankfully he’s a high earner so child support is nice. But if he was a bum, I’d be even madder with him taking half
Yes, I would. I’m 40 and my boyfriend is younger. I have more assets at this stage of life. My house (in my name only) was largely purchased with inherited funds as well.
I’ve already been divorced. I was lucky I didn’t lose anything in the divorce and it was amicable. No guarantee a second marriage would end the same.
I’d 100% protect myself. But I don’t really want to get married again.
I’m getting one. My fiancé out earns me by over three times. His first divorce was very lopsided where his ex wife who refused to work tried to take him for everything. He told me we don’t need one, but I offered and insisted.
I don’t plan on ever getting married, but I did work in DV and I will always recommend that women give themselves an exit plan. That secret bank account and a prenup.
If I’m going to spend years of my life with you only for you to cheat, dump me, or do something malicious, you can best guarantee I’m getting a return on my investment and or ensuring my own safety. It’s simply a contract saying if you act stupid, I’m going to treat you like nothing more than an investment.
I have property in the mix when my parents pass one day, and ain’t nobody about to take my childhood home away from me.
We didn’t. We had no significant assets coming into the marriage and had been together for 7 years. I find Reddit’s insistence on them honestly baffling because most couples I know have nothing to protect when they get married. Anything they earn within the marriage won’t apply to the prenup. Plus the oft repeated 50% number doesn’t take into account the fact that that number is inflated by people who marry and divorce quite frequently, and that couples older than 25 who are college educated are the least likely to divorce. It smacks of delusional assumptions about your partner unless you actually have something significant to protect and as I said, most couples I know don’t.
Absolutely. What’s mine is mine, what’s his is his, what’s ours is ours. Keeps things simple. I’d much rather determine what to do with finances now when we are in love than potentially in the future if we’re angry or hurting.
Absolutely I would, and I’m not the one with family money! You never know what can happen, and I wouldn’t blame him one bit for just wanting to protect himself financially if needed.
Depends. My now husband and I entered our marriage on pretty equal grounds and didn’t disagree with the way the state divides things during divorce. Maybe things will change down the road, but it’s certainly situational.
Yes. My future partner could be an angel on Earth but I am still going to protective of my money and my things. I’m open to marriage and if that happens we are 1000% getting a prenup
If somehow I was in a situation to remarry, I would 100% get a prenup to be sure my son gets the bulk of my inheritance. I know you can’t legally disinherit a spouse, so if my son’s inheritance couldn’t be assured, I wouldn’t do it at all.
Yea it wouldnt bother me as long as it was fair. I dont want anything anyone bought without my finances. And I dont care to own a mans business. If we were joint creators/investors in something then itd deserve to be split. Plus men are annoyingly paranoid, if thatd give some peace id sign it in a heartbeat. Ive never had financial issues
with exes in previous relationships.
I think a prenup shows greater faith – it indicates that you are not marrying a person for their assets. If you stay together, it’s not just because you are scared of losing half your property. I would 100% sign and would expect the other person to as well.
I got a prenup. I told my wife let’s do it. She had about 250K saved up when we married. I had about 60K. But in 2030 when I retire from the military no way she’s getting half. She wasn’t with me shooting in the gym lol.
I’m looking at 70K a year for retirement plus I plan to get a job doing exactly what I’m doing everyday. Which can range from 80-110K. I would like all my coins. We do have a son together and we are on the same page when it comes to him. Give him everything he needs to succeed in life and not have to worry about the hustle and bustle of life.
Yes, because I’m not delusional about the realities of the world. And if you can’t decide what happens in a split then the laws of wherever you live is the default ..
Everyone has a prenup. Either one you drafted with your partner and attorney, or the one the state you live in has set forth already in their divorce law (US). Your choice in which one will be more beneficial.
Not up for marrying, but would advise any couple to get one- divorce is so painful and often stupidly expensive.
To take as much of the waste of emotion and waste of money out of the equation is sensible.
My husband and I have been married for 3 years and we did not get a prenup. We talked about it, but ultimately we decided not to. This is not a condemnation of prenups; if we were entering the marriage under different circumstances we would have. However, we both entered the marriage with a fairly equal footing. We had similar level of debt. We both owned a car of roughly equal value and did not own any property other than the house we bought together. We both invested similar amounts of money into our home. We both make similar incomes. Sometimes I make more than him, sometimes he makes more than me, but we’ve always believed that we are 100% partners and that regardless of who made the money it is OUR money. Neither of us have any expensive family heirlooms or anything like that which we are concerned with keeping in our family. We both have good careers and there would be no reason for one person to be dependant on the other if we were to divorce. We also have no children and will not be having children.
So if we were ever to break up everything would be split 50/50 under the law and we were comfortable with that going into the marriage because we both came into the marriage on equal footing and contribute to the marriage equally. We did not feel it was necessary to take the extra step to make a prenup. We understand that many marriages fail and we do not believe that we are exceptional and somehow exempt from future marital troubles (though obviously we do not want our marriage to end or expect it to end- if we did we wouldn’t have gotten married). We also know that under the emotion of divorce people can become unreasonable. Again, we do not think we are exceptional here. That being said, we also know the laws in our province will split everything 50/50, which is what we would want anyway.
Yes. The marriage contract is completely outdated and unsuitable for today’s society. I think everyone should get a prenup, however simple or complex fits their situation and it would solve a LOT of issues later on.
Yes because I’m selfish and I don’t want my possible ex-husband to have any premarital assets. I wouldn’t want his stuff either. I also don’t want to be subjected to possible debt.
If I get divorce, I don’t want it to leave me in financial shambles.
Yes. My first marriage ended with my husbands death, and from that I had life insurance and various other accounts I was beneficiary of. It’s appropriate that all of that would stay with my daughter and not a second husband in the event I remarried.
Nope! Which scrolling through the replies thus far, that’s not a common opinion.
My spouse and I considered one and decided against it. Yes I love and trust my spouse and all that jazz, but that’s not what drove our ultimate decision to not get a prenup.
I live in a community property state. The default rules for how assets split in a divorce for my marriage are that everything pre-marriage stays with the individual and everything post-marriage is split 50/50 between the spouses. These rules are just fine with us and we saw no reason to contract different terms. So, prenup is unnecessary.
Besides, contracts made between parties not at arm’s length are very easy to invalidate.
Source – I am an attorney. I don’t practice family law but I know just enough about the subject to come to these conclusions for my situation. Disclaimer this is my own opinion about my life, my marriage, and my financial/economic position and I am not practicing law in Reddit comments and this is not legal advice and I am not your attorney etc. etc. etc.
My fiancé was cheated on horribly in the past. I think it’s perfectly fair for him to want a prenup stating that if there’s proof one party cheats, the other party gets all assets.
Yes, because the assets I would bring into a relationship are pretty substantial. Going forwards, I have no issue spitting what we build together. Basically what was mine before is still mine, what was yours before is still yours, what we built together is ours and should be split (my view being prenups are plans put in place for worst case scenario while you still love and respect each other very much). I don’t care if you have more than me, I don’t care if you have less than me, these are my assets I’ve worked really hard to build, achieve, buy, and I want to safeguard them
I’m single at the moment, but whenever I get married I definitely will be getting a prenup. I saw both my parents financially struggle tremendously after their divorce, with one of my parents taking years to become financially independent again. Both of my parents also told me on completely separate occasions to never get a joint bank account, so I will also be taking that advice.
In fact, my parents have explicitly said they would never bless my marriage if I didn’t have one. My money and family whatever is MINE. Never his (in the case of divorce)
I think people who get a prenup tend to have more open, intimate, and intentional conversations up front about things other couples typically don’t, or at least don’t until it’s too late, and it creates a level of transparency and expectation setting that often benefits the relationship. Even if it eventually ends in divorce, the divorce itself is much cleaner and helps to preserve some semblance of harmony between the couple, which is especially important when child custody is involved.
Absolutely. I need something in addition to what the state says. I have plans for my money, and I want to be sure it goes where it needs to go, even if there’s a divorce.
Totally! Assuming it was written fairly. Just lays out stupid financial things to make a split easier. I wouldn’t want to assume we’d split but why not have a fair plan in place? Emotions would be raw, it could prevent some scornful moves or just make one less thing to deal with.
Comments
No. I’m confident in who I’m marrying. That’s why I was so picky about it.
Edit: Please don’t comment if all you’re going to do is argue with me or tell me I’m “wrong”. I don’t care about your opinion. Thanks!
I’m in the US and yes, I intend to get a prenup. Every state has a de facto prenuptial agreement about finances. The things that are called “prenups” are just a way for the couple to personalize that financial plan. It seems obvious to me that there should be a plan about finances.
My parents gave us the substantial down payment to our home. I had a lawyer draw up something that said, if we break up, I get the down payment back and we would split the remaining profits from the house.
No regrets. My mom was clear when she gave me the money. She said “this is for YOU. So if you break up, I still want you to have it”
Seems fair to me. My husband didn’t mind signing it.
No, my husband and I were both poor when we married. We don’t believe in divorce for ourselves, unless in the cases of abuse or cheating, something that breaks the relationship apart in that way.
We are confident in each other and have a very close relationship. That doesn’t mean our relationship won’t be strained at all- we’ve had moments in time where we were definitely strained and struggled to meet eye to eye. But we’ve had perseverance, growth, understanding, and patience, and so much more that’s come out of staying true to our marriage vows.
So no, we didn’t do it for our relationship. But I understand that not everyone has a relationship like that, and so prenups are necessary in quite a few marriages.
Yes. Whether marrying someone with money or being a person with money, if there is a financial imbalance a prenup is important protection and created a financial agreement made when the couple is in a more positive and healthy state.
It also dictates how you plan on handling that imbalance in the marriage and creates discussions many people never discuss otherwise.
It isn’t about distrust it’s about healthy and hard conversations.
I’d say yes. Not that either of us have tons of money, but it’s not a bad idea to have one.
Absolutely. I am protective of my assets
Nope, was never interested in prenups. Wouldn’t have married my husband and trusted my life with him if I didn’t equally trust my finances with him.
Yes, I would.
50% of marriages and up in divorce. Everyone thinks they’re in a great relationship until they’re not. Everyone thinks they’re dating someone reasonable until they’re not.
Sure. I don’t have a lot of assets but I have some and would want to protect them. But this is hypothetical for me since it’s unlikely I’ll get married.
No point in getting one here in Ireland, they have no standing in law. The laws in question are statutory.
No, I just don’t care that much about money I guess lol
I wouldn’t marry someone if I felt the need to get a prenup. The person I’m married to has shown me how generous they are regarding assets and finances before we even got married.. so I trust my marriage.
Wrong question. If you have a prenup but not a Last Will & Testament, are you even sure you want to be married?
Absolutely. I’m all for assets gained together in marriage being split but if one comes into the relationship with far more, it’s fair to leave with them.
Never been married but always said I would because I don’t want to take anything from any one and I don’t want them taking my shit either. I just want friendship and love.
I’ve seen so many relationships that seemed like end game fail. I’ve had a few I thought I’d die with that the feelings just withered away. You never know what will happen 10 years down the line. Better safe than sorry and save all the drama down the line.
I got married 9 years ago and did not get a prenup, and I probably still wouldn’t today. I didn’t really come into the marriage with anything I wasn’t willing to lose. I had a mortgage prior to meeting him, but even if we split, I’d still want to give him half the value of a house sale so he could at least have something to restart his life with. Even if he did something horrible like cheating, I’d still not wish him to be homeless. Revenge does nothing for me.
I will not. I think it’s a little pointless given that what I can’t predict the future, and many of the things I might want aren’t legal.
Yes. we got a prenup. We both came from divorced families. We understand that the unforeseen can happen and it would be in both our best interests to make difficult choices now while we are happy and in love rather than down the road when we could be angry and spiteful (not very characteristic of either of us but again, the unforeseen can’t be seen). Here’s to all the what-ifs being covered!
In addition, to a prenup we got a lot of other legal shit sorted at the same time. Power of attorney and all that jazz.
I didn’t have much money 2 years ago when I got married, so we didn’t do one. I have no problem with them, and I would have had one if I had money
No because first of all I don’t have that much. Secondly I’m getting married for life. My future husband isn’t divorcing me. I’m going to take his ass to therapy over and over again until we figure it out.
I don’t think a prenup would really be useful for my individual situation, but I generally see them as a practical thing and am open to it if my partner wanted one.
I would not. I would just go with a long engagement. I dated for 5 and was engaged for 2.5 before getting married. He failed to run and it’s been 10 years. We got married so I could cover him with my health insurance.
Yes I would. I would also ensure that both parties have their Last Will & Testament in order. I am speaking from experience because I was once the young idealist/idiot who thought these things did not really matter and it actually kinda ruined this widow’s life. So, take the advice or don’t, but I hate to see people suffer unnecessarily when it is so easy to protect yourself from more suffering.
Yes. US f24.
A prenup is meant to protect BOTH people.
I’ve put a great deal of thought into this and I’d absolutely agree to a prenup or issue one of my own but the draw up would have to be
anything that they own before our engagement/ nuptials.. be it land, accounts, furniture etc would remain theirs if we split up and anything that was mine before would also remain mine.
Any land, money, property or otherwise we may come into post nuptials would be split 50/50 or liquidated and the money from said things would be split 50/50.
Gifts remain gifts, i don’t expect anything I give to be given back. I would ideally expect the same.
if we have children there will be absolutely 0 squabbling over them. The time will be split as close to 50/50 as we can get it given both of us are able to provide a stable environment for the child(ren). Visits will always be encouraged even if they remarry and this is also only if everyone remains stable and new spouse is vetted and has been around the children in group settings beforehand for at least 6mos.
any issues we have shouldn’t be posted on social media. It’s a two person relationship, it doesn’t need the input of 30 nosey strangers. It’s about mutual respect and not putting any mutual loved ones in the middle of our bullshit.
I think people see prenuptial agreements as one person protecting themselves but they are supposed to be structured fairly. I think of it as discussing divorce terms while you like eachother. Also, if you ever do want out you are not walking away and figuring it out you will know what to expect. They also have sunshine laws so you need to update them every now and agian.
We’re getting married next month, and we’re both coming in with significant inheritance money. We were reluctantly convinced to prenup that money for the just in case scenario that we don’t expect.
We plan to pool our paychecks for household and potential children expenses.
My husband had more money than me when we got married so I wasn’t bothered but if I had more money, absolutely 100% mandatory.
People can change over time. Hell someone can hit their head and become a completely different person. A prenup is simply a safety net. It’s like insurance that you only pay for once. If there are no problems in the marriage, then it doesn’t come into play. So no problem.
This is location dependent though, I know prenups don’t work everywhere.
Absolutely. Prenups are protection. It’s not all about what you currently have. It’s about what you build together. I definitely want my part if something happens. And if he cheats or does any number of audacious things I want to be protected against that too. All of that can go in a prenup.
Yes. I’m older and have assets I definitely want to keep separate.
Yeah. Mostly bc the money in my bank accounts needs to stay mine (I have quite a bit more than my SO). And my SO has the house in his name and would want to keep it if we split – which is fair.
Yes. To ensure we’re both protected
Yes. Expect the best and prepare for the worst. If your marriage starts going south it’s nice to know you have some protections in place. So that if they try getting petty you know there is almost so much they can do. It’s nice to know you won’t be completely screwed over if you end up unexpectedly single.
I would never get married without one and would not recommend that anyone does. I am an attorney and people lose their minds when it comes to divorce or estates. What a prenup does is ensures that any difficult decision is made ahead of time. Not getting one is just drastically increasing the chances that you have to waste a huge amount of money paying at attorney if things go wrong. And you cannot predict which marriages will last and which won’t. It’s impossible. You will never know if someone is going to cheat, turn abusive, develop a gambling addiction or a drug habit, whatever. You also cannot predict which people will make a divorce easy and who is going to get upset and decide to make your life hell. People like this are subsidizing divorce attorneys.
It protects everyone. If the other person wants to be unreasonable, it is very easy for them to cause a huge hassle which will require you to spend large amounts of money on legal fees. If you’re fine with a divorce dragging on for years and costing tens of thousands of dollars, then you don’t need a prenup. It sure benefits divorce attorneys for you to not have one. But I think not having one is a pretty irrational decision. It’s like insurance. You may never need it. But having it prevents you from experiencing a complete disaster if something goes wrong. No one says that getting car insurance is planning to wreck the car. It just makes everything way easier if something bad happens and that is what a prenup is for. It’s a ready made plan for if a divorce happens, and if there’s not a plan, things can get nasty and extremely expensive. No thanks. I would never risk it. I am not sure people realize what the consequences to a nasty contested divorce really can look like, and no one expects it to happen to them, but you never really know if it will be you or not. Unless you get a prenup.
I refuse to get married without a prenup. I’m not splitting my money or assets if we’re divorcing and I want to be able to protect the things I earn during the marriage too. I like my money, i worked for everything I have. I don’t believe in “prenup means you’re planning on divorce or prenup means you’re not confident in who you’re marrying”. Shit happens and people’s feeling can change no matter how in love they were. No one PLANS to breakup. Protect yourself
14 years of no money because of court and abuse, my ex can’t touch me so he has to ruin mine and our child’s life because of it. Get that prenup.
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Yes. I will not be getting married without it.
In addition I will be adding an infidelity clause & something in regards to the lottery. I play often and people get really weird in regards to large amounts of money
I’ll be pushing my children to have one. That way they can blame Mom if their partner is offended by it.
If I ever get married again, yes. My parents are in their 70s and unwell. I will come into a substantial sum (to me) once they pass, and while inheritance isn’t community property, that applies if you receive it after marriage.
It’s important to my dad that the acreage stays in the family, so it’s in a trust and is safe. I think it’s a moot concern anyway since I haven’t been in a relationship for the last five years; my last ended with serious issues of trust. I don’t see myself marrying ever again.
Absolutely. Zero question. Not that I want to ever get married again, but I wish I’d gotten one for my first marriage. I would have been in a MUCH better situation now. (Parents helped with down payment, etc. We sold the marital home and it was incredibly painful to see my ex get half of the proceeds.)
Yes. Things happen, and especially where one of both of us are likely coming in with not only potentially assets but student debt, I feel like it’s better to be safe than sorry.
Yes. Very pro prenup. My parents were divorced when I was still pretty young and I ended up hearing them complain about finances back and forth after the fact.
I was also incredibly naive and purchased a home with a boyfriend awhile back and failed to secure a written agreement about what would happen to our house if we split. I’ve just about wrapped up a partition lawsuit with him finally. He had no intention of paying me what he owed me.
I felt like I saw first hand what happens when all those lovey dovey feelings are gone and all that’s left is the cold hard practicality of dividing the assets. It’s better to have that agreement written while the love is still there.
I don’t plan to get in a car accident but I have auto insurance, don’t plan to have a flood but I have renters insurance plus after watching my parents collectively divorce 3 times…yeah I asked for a prenup and no my partner was not offended whatsoever
Yes. Men always talk about how they want a prenup but I don’t think they expect us to add to it. And we should! I highly recommend women hire their own attorney to add clauses guaranteeing financial support if she sacrifices her own career for the spouse (this includes childrearing). For example, a stay at home mom should have regular contributions to her own retirement account from the husband.
I have saved a lot (to date) and men I’ve met / dated have been surprising lot open with how they would like to use that money. I would not even move in with a partner now without documenting a separation of assets from the point we move in.
I’m also:
-keeping finances separate, forever.
-keeping quiet about how much I actually have.
Of course, why wouldn’t I?
I also have various types of insurance, I joined a union, I have a will and an end of life directive. I always wear a seat belt, take self-defence, drive defensively and always know how to exit and/or hide in a building/room just in case of an active shooter.
You can’t predict the unexpected, but you can prepare for it. That’s how I view pre-nups. I would rather be prepared and not need it, then caught in the worst case scenario and not know what to do.
If the unexpected happens and this person I adore becomes someone I hate or it turns out they aren’t who I thought they were, I will at least have legal and financial protections in place
Absolutely. I don’t have much, so I have to protect every penny. Also, the idea of losing a home that I love is terrifying to me. I don’t own a home, but if I ever do, doing everything in my power to keep it would be extremely important.
Absolutely. Something I read recently that solidified my mind, is that in the event of a divorce, the state is going to determine how everything is divided which may or may not be what you and your spouse want. A prenup guarantees that in the event of a divorce, both parties come out satisfied (or more so than if the government applied blanket rules).
I would. My husband cheated on me with over 20 women while pregnant. I never woulda thought in a million years he would do that after 14 years, so expect the unexpected? Thankfully he’s a high earner so child support is nice. But if he was a bum, I’d be even madder with him taking half
Yes, I would. I’m 40 and my boyfriend is younger. I have more assets at this stage of life. My house (in my name only) was largely purchased with inherited funds as well.
I’ve already been divorced. I was lucky I didn’t lose anything in the divorce and it was amicable. No guarantee a second marriage would end the same.
I’d 100% protect myself. But I don’t really want to get married again.
I’m getting one. My fiancé out earns me by over three times. His first divorce was very lopsided where his ex wife who refused to work tried to take him for everything. He told me we don’t need one, but I offered and insisted.
Nope. Don’t get even, get everything.
I don’t plan on ever getting married, but I did work in DV and I will always recommend that women give themselves an exit plan. That secret bank account and a prenup.
Yes.
We didn’t. We had no significant assets coming into the marriage and had been together for 7 years. I find Reddit’s insistence on them honestly baffling because most couples I know have nothing to protect when they get married. Anything they earn within the marriage won’t apply to the prenup. Plus the oft repeated 50% number doesn’t take into account the fact that that number is inflated by people who marry and divorce quite frequently, and that couples older than 25 who are college educated are the least likely to divorce. It smacks of delusional assumptions about your partner unless you actually have something significant to protect and as I said, most couples I know don’t.
Absolutely. What’s mine is mine, what’s his is his, what’s ours is ours. Keeps things simple. I’d much rather determine what to do with finances now when we are in love than potentially in the future if we’re angry or hurting.
Absolutely I would, and I’m not the one with family money! You never know what can happen, and I wouldn’t blame him one bit for just wanting to protect himself financially if needed.
Depends. My now husband and I entered our marriage on pretty equal grounds and didn’t disagree with the way the state divides things during divorce. Maybe things will change down the road, but it’s certainly situational.
If you have assets you need to make sure everyone understands whose money that is.
Yes. My future partner could be an angel on Earth but I am still going to protective of my money and my things. I’m open to marriage and if that happens we are 1000% getting a prenup
Yes, it’s basically insurance.
I don’t plan on ever getting married but I would absolutely recommend that to anyone getting married.
For second marriages a prenup is a necessity.
We did not. We had essentially no assets going into the marriage lol. Nothing to make sure was fairly divided.
Everything we are making in the marriage now is ours.
If somehow I was in a situation to remarry, I would 100% get a prenup to be sure my son gets the bulk of my inheritance. I know you can’t legally disinherit a spouse, so if my son’s inheritance couldn’t be assured, I wouldn’t do it at all.
Of course. Prenups are not about love.
Yea it wouldnt bother me as long as it was fair. I dont want anything anyone bought without my finances. And I dont care to own a mans business. If we were joint creators/investors in something then itd deserve to be split. Plus men are annoyingly paranoid, if thatd give some peace id sign it in a heartbeat. Ive never had financial issues
with exes in previous relationships.
I did not get a prenup. We married young with minimal assets and a similar earning potential.
I am now pretty high income so I would likely get a prenup if I ever remarried for some reason.
I think a prenup shows greater faith – it indicates that you are not marrying a person for their assets. If you stay together, it’s not just because you are scared of losing half your property. I would 100% sign and would expect the other person to as well.
We didn’t do a prenup but did a postnuptial agreement a year into it…
No, only because my husband and I don’t really have anything. Plus, he can have everything except the cat and my clothes.
I got a prenup. I told my wife let’s do it. She had about 250K saved up when we married. I had about 60K. But in 2030 when I retire from the military no way she’s getting half. She wasn’t with me shooting in the gym lol.
I’m looking at 70K a year for retirement plus I plan to get a job doing exactly what I’m doing everyday. Which can range from 80-110K. I would like all my coins. We do have a son together and we are on the same page when it comes to him. Give him everything he needs to succeed in life and not have to worry about the hustle and bustle of life.
I would and plan to if I ever get married. I want to protect my assets and I’d like to ensure my partner is also protected.
Yes, because I’m not delusional about the realities of the world. And if you can’t decide what happens in a split then the laws of wherever you live is the default ..
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Everyone has a prenup. Either one you drafted with your partner and attorney, or the one the state you live in has set forth already in their divorce law (US). Your choice in which one will be more beneficial.
Not up for marrying, but would advise any couple to get one- divorce is so painful and often stupidly expensive.
To take as much of the waste of emotion and waste of money out of the equation is sensible.
My husband and I have been married for 3 years and we did not get a prenup. We talked about it, but ultimately we decided not to. This is not a condemnation of prenups; if we were entering the marriage under different circumstances we would have. However, we both entered the marriage with a fairly equal footing. We had similar level of debt. We both owned a car of roughly equal value and did not own any property other than the house we bought together. We both invested similar amounts of money into our home. We both make similar incomes. Sometimes I make more than him, sometimes he makes more than me, but we’ve always believed that we are 100% partners and that regardless of who made the money it is OUR money. Neither of us have any expensive family heirlooms or anything like that which we are concerned with keeping in our family. We both have good careers and there would be no reason for one person to be dependant on the other if we were to divorce. We also have no children and will not be having children.
So if we were ever to break up everything would be split 50/50 under the law and we were comfortable with that going into the marriage because we both came into the marriage on equal footing and contribute to the marriage equally. We did not feel it was necessary to take the extra step to make a prenup. We understand that many marriages fail and we do not believe that we are exceptional and somehow exempt from future marital troubles (though obviously we do not want our marriage to end or expect it to end- if we did we wouldn’t have gotten married). We also know that under the emotion of divorce people can become unreasonable. Again, we do not think we are exceptional here. That being said, we also know the laws in our province will split everything 50/50, which is what we would want anyway.
Yes. The marriage contract is completely outdated and unsuitable for today’s society. I think everyone should get a prenup, however simple or complex fits their situation and it would solve a LOT of issues later on.
Yes because I’m selfish and I don’t want my possible ex-husband to have any premarital assets. I wouldn’t want his stuff either. I also don’t want to be subjected to possible debt.
If I get divorce, I don’t want it to leave me in financial shambles.
Yes. My first marriage ended with my husbands death, and from that I had life insurance and various other accounts I was beneficiary of. It’s appropriate that all of that would stay with my daughter and not a second husband in the event I remarried.
Nope! Which scrolling through the replies thus far, that’s not a common opinion.
My spouse and I considered one and decided against it. Yes I love and trust my spouse and all that jazz, but that’s not what drove our ultimate decision to not get a prenup.
I live in a community property state. The default rules for how assets split in a divorce for my marriage are that everything pre-marriage stays with the individual and everything post-marriage is split 50/50 between the spouses. These rules are just fine with us and we saw no reason to contract different terms. So, prenup is unnecessary.
Besides, contracts made between parties not at arm’s length are very easy to invalidate.
Source – I am an attorney. I don’t practice family law but I know just enough about the subject to come to these conclusions for my situation. Disclaimer this is my own opinion about my life, my marriage, and my financial/economic position and I am not practicing law in Reddit comments and this is not legal advice and I am not your attorney etc. etc. etc.
Yes, for everyone protecting
There’s no reason to not get a prenup.
My fiancé was cheated on horribly in the past. I think it’s perfectly fair for him to want a prenup stating that if there’s proof one party cheats, the other party gets all assets.
I was married in 2023, now divorcing in 2025, I thought the prenup was silly. Should I ever remarry, I will not say I do without one.
Yes, because the assets I would bring into a relationship are pretty substantial. Going forwards, I have no issue spitting what we build together. Basically what was mine before is still mine, what was yours before is still yours, what we built together is ours and should be split (my view being prenups are plans put in place for worst case scenario while you still love and respect each other very much). I don’t care if you have more than me, I don’t care if you have less than me, these are my assets I’ve worked really hard to build, achieve, buy, and I want to safeguard them
100% yes
Why if I said you already have a prenup – it’s called the government prenup
You want the government prenup or to explore making one that’s better and not one that’s from the 50s?
My husband and I have been married for 37 years. If I were to ever marry again I’d for sure get a prenup.
I’m single at the moment, but whenever I get married I definitely will be getting a prenup. I saw both my parents financially struggle tremendously after their divorce, with one of my parents taking years to become financially independent again. Both of my parents also told me on completely separate occasions to never get a joint bank account, so I will also be taking that advice.
100%
In fact, my parents have explicitly said they would never bless my marriage if I didn’t have one. My money and family whatever is MINE. Never his (in the case of divorce)
Absolutely! I’m not risking giving my assets to a man tf. Wouldn’t tie the knot without one.
Absolutely, yes.
I think people who get a prenup tend to have more open, intimate, and intentional conversations up front about things other couples typically don’t, or at least don’t until it’s too late, and it creates a level of transparency and expectation setting that often benefits the relationship. Even if it eventually ends in divorce, the divorce itself is much cleaner and helps to preserve some semblance of harmony between the couple, which is especially important when child custody is involved.
Absolutely. I need something in addition to what the state says. I have plans for my money, and I want to be sure it goes where it needs to go, even if there’s a divorce.
Totally! Assuming it was written fairly. Just lays out stupid financial things to make a split easier. I wouldn’t want to assume we’d split but why not have a fair plan in place? Emotions would be raw, it could prevent some scornful moves or just make one less thing to deal with.