Would you go on a date with someone you don’t find very physically attractive, but who has the potential to be the lifetime partner you’re looking for? Why or why not?
Would you go on a date with someone you don’t find very physically attractive, but who has the potential to be the lifetime partner you’re looking for? Why or why not?
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It would be considered a short term relationship
If you’re not finding someone attractive then please don’t waste their time.
I would date them and see if their personality makes them hotter to me. Personality is such a factor for me that it can make you physically attractive to me.
I’d go on the date. What’s the worst that could happen? You make a friend?
‘Someone you don’t find very physically attractive, but who has potentially to be the lifetime partner’ is pretty much an oxymoron.
Throw an ‘initially’ in there, and there is a discussion to be had maybe.
Yeah. It’s easy to look after someone and beautify them, it’s harder to find someone for yourself.
I don’t really care about looks when it comes to sex, so I don’t find someone physically attractive then they must be really ugly, so no.
If there’s connection, good personality, common interests and intentions absolutely. Attraction is much deeper than physical.
If you don’t find them physically attractive, you shouldn’t pursue
I think this question is going to have a male/female divide. For a guy, probably not, for a girl, maybe.
Yes, I’d go. It matters how the person makes me feel more than anything. We all look weird no matter what. Looks don’t mean much in the end.
Mmm ngl, I’m gonna be lowkey doubtful so nope
Sounds like you’re going to start a family with them, but then cheat on them later or have a side piece.
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If he or she ain’t a narcissistic prick. Especially a subtle narcissist, like they don’t know they are a narcissist. (Sorry forgot term)
Sex/finance compatibility, adventurous and a great sense of humor.
Yes, because lasting relationships are built on connection and compatibility.
I would give a try.
I would. Nothing is beyond a potential life partner.
Yes, and I have.
But sadly, any level of attractiveness has not been a barrier for infidelity.. and many can’t stop looking for better.. so with such opportunities, temptation unfortunately has won every time.
Edit… Not sure why I’m getting downvoted here, as I decided to try and date someone more for personality more so than their attractiveness and yet I still got cheated on.
I guess one can never win on here.. 😅
Only if I got to know them and their personality made them attractive to me
I usually lost feelings of attraction after a date because of no spark. On the other hand, my husband and I were friends first and developed attraction after spending a lot of time together. We still have chemistry after 20 years. Sometimes it takes time.
Yes I did. Multiple dates. Had no interest in her until I got to know her. Then I fell in love. It made me realize I’d be judging people based on their looks for too long. Never again
This should be an obvious yes, but it depends on what stage you are in life and what you are focused on.
Yes as long as he had a big d
Depends on your life stage. If you’re 18, I’d skip it. There are other fish in the sea. Or at least make it clear you just want to be friends.
If you’re 33 and have been striking out, then you should probably go on the date.
As a woman, I think attraction can grow from personality entirely. For men, I think a biological attraction is more imperative. That said, looks are only enough to attract somebody. Not enough to keep somebody interested.
I’m right in this dilemma. I’m dating someone I’m not really attracted to. She has a lot of other great qualities, that I want in a partner. Unfortunately it’s the sexlife where the problems play out, so it’s frustrating for both of us
Absolutely yes! A great connection, intimacy and passion are way more important than physical attraction! 100%!
If you think they might be a lifetime partner then yes, you must go.
Of course because the whole point is live with someone that you can tolerate your entire life
I need tk be physically attracted to her in order for her to be my life partner
No; I don’t think not being physically appealing to me is something that makes for a potential lifetime partner. Presumably I’ve already met them and gauged vibes and chemistry rather than just seeing a picture, right?
You’ll get used to the hot person’s looks in a few months, but not to their personality.
Key word I see here is “very”. You don’t have to find someone very physically attractive. They just need to be attractive to you. Period. Personality and their potential as a high quality partner take over after that. Anything more than that is just FOMO taking the wheel.
Yes because it’s not all about looks. People have other attributes too
Can I ask you something personal? I don’t want to judge. I’m sincerely curious. What is it about someone’s physical attractiveness that makes it such a high priority for you to be a willing participant in a relationship with them? How are you prioritizing the value you have in a potential partner?
I did this and they turned out to be a fucking horrible person.
Wouldn’t any person hypothetically have that potential?
I just don’t see how the date happens in the first place. I’m 37 and while women have hinted that they would like me to take them on a date, no one has ever directly asked me for a date.
If she’s not my favorite bag of Doritos and she’s only dropping hints, we’re at a do not past go situation.
Don’t do this unless you want to feel resentment.
Either I just find a lot more people attractive on average or I’ve just run into a lot of pretty good looking people. My partner wasn’t drop dead gorgeous when I first met her but after we started dating and she started growing her hair out a little bit more (its still short but she had really short hair when we first met) damn did she start getting really attractive. Or I’m just heavily biased by brain chemicals because I’m in love with her.
Once you get to the point of having feelings, their looks increase by like 50%. I’m had that before with exes as well where if I just met them for the first time they’d be okay but nothing special and then once we’ve been together a while it’s like “oh that mole she’s got right there? Damn that’s kinda sexy”.
I did with my most recent ex. I eventually fell for their personality and finding them physically attractive did come by soon after.
Did this.
Got into a relationship with her for a month,till she left me for someone else. Made up this whole lie about going to alcoholics AA meeting in a different state..
My ex when I first met her was nothing special. Average looking woman, but the emotional bond that we had made her go from a 6 to an 11 on the physical attractiveness scale. If I see someone as a potential life partner, you can guarantee that automatically increases how attractive they look to me.
If I’m not interested in having a sexual relationship ie physically attracted to someone then it’s only ever going to be a friendship at most.
Personality is 90%. I married a man I thought was very handsome. By the end of that marriage he looked like a monster. Mostly because he had the personality of a wild animal.
honestly, looks are 90% in your head. if youre in love with a guy, he’ll look hot to you no matter what, and vice versa
It depends on what the question means. If there is literally no physical attraction then its a hard no. If it means “someone who is a little less attractive than youd usually go for” then sure, why not
Yes I will because I’m looking for a person who i will spend the rest of my life with so physical attraction will be the least factor I will consider
Absolutely! Looks are secondary, if not tertiary, to me. I’m asexual so I’m not looking at someone the same way an allosexual would.
Absolutely! Looks are secondary, if not tertiary, to me. I’m asexual so I’m not looking at someone the same way an allosexual would.
How rich is she?
Yes, I dated someone for a few years that I didn’t originally find attractive. Once I got to know them I fell in love with their looks. People were often confused and asked why I was with him (including his parents, in front of him). We were together for 5 years but unfortunately as time went on he became really abusive. I would still be willing to date someone who I didn’t initially find attractive, I’m even willing to date men who are on the shorter side. I don’t necessarily have a type, if I like you, then I like you.
Not me. Physical attraction should be a prerequisite. No matter how good the personality is, it won’t make a difference if you can’t get hard to be intimate. Relationships need both physical and emotional attraction. I’ve actually been in this situation before where I turned down one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. Problem was though that the thought of sleeping with them made me feel sick and I couldn’t do them like that.
Anyone who says yes is lying through their teeth.
Ofcourse, looks fade.
Absolutely 💯
No, because I’ve learnt the hard way physical attraction is an important part of being and staying in a relationship. No matter how much I admire and respect them as a person, if I don’t find them physically attractive, it’s not going to last.
H no, they have to be attractive or there’s no potential
I have and it ended up being that I enjoyed their personality so much, they ended up becoming physically attractive to me.
Also, looks change over time. Yeah, physical attraction is important, but what’s more important is if they’d support you in your worst hours.
Sure everyone has plus and minus that add up to the total score if you have low points in looks you can make up the grade with higher points in personality or shared interests and other stats.
“I don’t love you because you are beautiful to me. You are beautiful to me because I love you”
I think the nuance really matters here. “not very physically attractive” is vague… is this someone I’m still attracted to enough that I actively want to sleep with them? because if so, there’s no problem.
if they are so physically unattractive that I don’t want to sleep with them, but I’m not like actively repelled by them, I think I still go on the date because you never know. a lot of stuff related to attraction can be changed also, like maybe if they change their hair and their clothes, lost weight whatever they might be more attractive.
if I am actively repelled by them, it’s gotta be a no. I already have friends, a romantic relationship involves sex, if I’m not sexually attracted at all and there’s no possibility of that then it’s a no.
Yes. Because they’ll become physically attractive to you, with time.
12 day old bot account
Someone I don’t find attractive wouldn’t potentially be a lifetime partner.
Because I know I need to be physically attracted to my partner and that sex is an important component in long lasting relationships. Plus… my long time partner is going to be contributing genes to our kids. If I don’t like a chunk of them, he’s out of the running.
I will give one chance for sure. Sometimes physical attraction grows after few dates.
Yes of course.. It comes down to that I wanna find my lifelong partner, not a quick fling which turns out to be nothing good, or something like that.
Physical attraction is lust..
Whenever someone likes me for lust.. That lust can go away at anytime and we’d have no mental attractions to keep us together.
Also physical attraction is ussaly just for people who wanna have fun, not be in a serious relationship till death parts us.
Definitely. I will only be attracted to someone if they meet my standards. You could be the most attractive man on earth with a less than adequate personality and I won’t even consider you. Luckily I found the most attractive man alive and he’s perfect for me in every way. I wish more people would give the kind guys a chance.
Sexual attraction is part of the criteria for a lifetime partner, if there’s no spark there’s no spark
I had the opposite happen. First date went well because he was hot. Dating, i, along with my friends gaslit me into thinking all of his bizarre antics and ab*sive behaviors were “not that bad” because he was hot. Until one day, i realized. We were making excuses because he was hot. I don’t think of attractive men like this anymore. If you’re good looking, that’s a bonus. But morals and integrity are everything above looks and even personality.
I approached my now girlfriend before seeing her face. I talked about things besides her face. My mom tells me I can do better looks wise.
As long as you pass a certain threshold, looks stop becoming anything more than a plus. It’s the way she carries herself through life alone and with others that make her attractive to me. As for spark, I learned to create sparks on demand, so this is no longer a big issue.
While physical attraction might kindle the spark, it’s a connection between souls that creates lasting love. Looks are temporary, and can change in an instant.
It’s like in the song.
“Will you still love me when I’m no longer young and beautiful? I know you will. I know you will. I know that you will.”
No. I’ve never met someone who eliminated the need for physical attraction.
yeah, of course. lol . if I find them horrendously disgusting looking to me, I probably won’t be able to love them like they want me to, and that may be pretty unfair. I was going to marry a girl I dont find physically attractive. But she was so beautiful that her physicality looked more beautiful to me everyday.
I have a friend that says beautiful people are not always good. But good people are always beautiful. Couldn’t agree more.
Well no. I dont think their great personality will help me find them sexually attractive, so unless they’re okay never having sex again, then I wouldnt waste their time.
Yes I want to grow old together but I also want to be passionate about them and i’d expect them to feel that way about me too. I wouldnt want to be with someone who doesnt want to squeeze me all day, so I’d want to share that sentiment
I have to be attracted – I can’t make love to your jokes.
I would not date anyone until I worked out what I wanted.
Well she would need to have enough charm for me to notice her at least. But if she is then yes.
Theres no logic behind it, attractiveness is subjective
I would go on one singular date to see if the attraction could be there but if it’s not, it doesn’t matter how great they are unfortunately
I have a hard time seeing someone I’m not attracted to at all have the potential to be a lifetime partner
If they were at least hygienic and took care of themselves. I’m more interested in a persons personality for sure so if we got along really well that’s what matters most.
Picking someone with looks in mind as the top priority usually leads to disappointment. Most of us aren’t as hot at 40 as when we were 20. If you want a lifetime partner, you’ll have to make peace with the fact that bodies and faces change. As long as they’ve got at least something that you find physically appealing, I say go for it. A date is basically nothing, why not give it a go?
To be fair though, I’ve never asked someone out by sight alone. I always have to be attracted to personality before I make a move, so that’s just what works for me.
Isn’t your question contradictory? If I saw the potential in someone to be my lifetime partner, the chances of me finding that person attractive is also quite high.
Yes, going on a dates are precisely how I find out more about them. Vice versa, if you were the person being evaluated, would you like that the other person give you a chance?
And the sole purpose of the date is to evaluate whether I would like to go on another date with this person. I don’t go on dates expecting that the person would be my life partner. Of course the long-term goal is to find a suitable partner, and I hope all the dates eventually lead to finding someone with whom I can build a stable life with. But I think sometimes we pile so much expectations on dates in the early stages of dating, it’s like being too focused on the destination that you cannot enjoy the journey.
Personality is the main factor, actually.
Honestly, my attraction to someone immediately increase if I find out they like me
If I don’t find them physically attractive (which is not to say they have to be conventionally attractive) they do not have the potential to be my partner.
Dealbreaker for me. I really have to feel attraction. On the other side… i am not attracted to a special kind of man, but i would not like to wake up every day near someone i does not feel attracted to.
I like sex and it needs to be part of my relationship. If I don’t find you attractive, that’s a no from me.
How does someone I don‘t feel physically attracted to have the potential to be my lifetime partner?
If there’s no physical attraction its a non starter
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Physical attraction is crucial when waking up day after day next to them, seeing them at their worst. Attraction is subjective and personality does go a long way too as others have shared.
If I don’t find them physically attractive then they can’t be my lifetime partner.
I will take anything out that gives me the time of day at this point
Yeah, attraction can grow once you really vibe with someone.
That was my last relationship, she was alright, but when I met her her personality made her 50x prettier. Then later in the relationship, she started being mean to me and stuff, and then it was like she wasn’t attractive to me anymore. It helps you move on because then you’re like what did I lose, a 5/10??? But they have to be somewhat attractive tbh like no matter how nice they are if I’m not somewhat attracted it won’t work.
at this point if she has a pulse and isn’t Gorlock the Destroyer? Yeah
Heck to the yes, easy. Personality can boost like 3 or 4 points from the 1-10 scale. Life partner potential? Let’s give it a shot. Someone moderately attractive can legit become much more attractive due to their personality.
No. I don’t date. I don’t want a partner.
No.
I have a baseline level of attraction that kind of needs to be there – of course it can grow or shrink based on personality but if there’s nothing there to start it’s not going to show up suddenly.
I tried that and hurt her feelings. It’s my burden to carry and will never do it again.
Nope. That statement is contradicting itself. Someone I don’t find attractive would never have the potential to be a lifetime partner or someone i am looking for.
I need to be physically attracted to my lifetime partner.
Uh yeah I married someone for his personality and not his looks. Eventually along the road his personality and looks changed–looks were better, but personality was now crap. We divorced.
Sometimes I find it amazing how different men and women are. For men how she looks is their #1 concern–for women it’s just one item in a huge list.
Depends. They might become attractive to me if I learn more about them. But if there is no attraction, I cant be with them.
I made that mistake (seeking a partner based on physical attractiveness only) and will never do it again.
My last girlfriend was extremely attractive by all standard measures, and also was very much “my type” physically. I constantly ignored red flags as our relationship progressed because of her beauty (and what I thought was great sex). She tore me apart in the end and I was broken.
When I finally fixed my confidence, got over her and I started dating again, I actively avoided dating women based on physical attractiveness. It is so much better to look for a potential partner based on the right traits like kindness, understanding, trust, respect, generosity, positivity, common values and emotional maturity. It’s been great and I’ve found someone amazing now. She is truly a beautiful soul and over time I became very attracted to her because of who she is as a person.
No lmao wtf
Absolutely. For me, I do not find most men physically attractive but the more I like their personality, the more I find them handsome if that makes sense? Both of my exes I didn’t find them attractive initially but once I started to love them I found them super hot. Basically when I’m in love, the person I love becomes the best looking guy in the world so initial attraction is not something I really care about.
When I met my girlfriend I wasn’t extremely attracted to her as she wasn’t my type. She is very attractive and has that basic white girl Starbucks blond look. Gets hit on all the time when we are out but I have always been in more alternative looking girls.
Starting becoming more attracted to her over time physically because she’s incredibly nice and kind to everyone.
Yes. While they’re important, looks aren’t everything.
No. I need physical attraction to be interested.
If anyone wanted to date me I’d accept, problem is there hasn’t been a single person like that in my life
100% no.
I don’t find how someone looks to be what is sexually attractive, more how they move, talk, and think. So I’ve long term dated and even been engaged to people who I know were what most people call ugly. I just don’t give a shit what someone’s flesh sack looks like, it’s more about how you use it.
Yes, I would. Looks fade, but having someone who laughs at my terrible jokes for 50 years? That’s priceless.
No. I have to find them attractive “enough.”
Stating, ‘they’re not very physically attractive” will go nowhere for me.
I think when you’re having fun dating, you should go for whomever makes your undies vibrate, but when you’re looking for forever looks should not be top of the list and if they’re good, then that’s a bonus. In the end, your partner’s looks aren’t going to hold your hand when times are rough, their looks aren’t going to make you laugh (now, now)…it’s everything inside that they bring to the table, that will ultimately make the majority of what will bring success to the relationship.
Nothing about looks equates to what will make a good partner and sometimes everything else is what makes a partner more attractive and appealing to their person.
Personally, I’ve dated all types of people and they all look fundamentally different, each bringing something unique to the relationship.
It depends on what you find physically attractive – and if you can turn them into what you find physically attractive. If you can and they are willing – I don’t see a problem!
I’m kind of..: radical. I’m what I like. And I may not be radical enough for them. Good think is that all it takes is time to become that radical. … its me whose after someone who may need to mild me bit before anything.
A person with whom you are compatible, but towards whom you have no physical attraction, is called a “friend.” Not a potential romantic partner. There has to be romantic potential there, since most people in this day and age aren’t in need of any possible marriage just for survival’s sake. But for me, even if I’m not initially actively attracted to someone, I can usually tell within a relatively short time interacting with them if there is potential that I could be actively attracted to them. (There are plenty of people who are quite conventionally attractive that do nothing whatsoever for me, I have a type and personality does influence it sometimes.) If I could see potential for attraction, I’d go for it, even if there wasn’t active attraction currently. If I could see no potential for attraction, I wouldn’t.
Yeah if they had a cute enough personality. I’ve liked girls in the past who weren’t very physically good looking, were kind of on the big side or one girls family was tree hugging hippies and she kind of stunk because she didn’t shower a lot or use deodorant, was kind of off putting for a lot of people but they’re personalities were incredibly attractive and it made them very cute in my eyes lol. I’d take her home to Mama..
Yes – done it before and would do it again. Personality can make someone hotter to me.
Not really at some point you will miss the physical attraction
I’ve dated men who make George Clooney look like a feral animal. Gorgeous head turners yet lacked the personality that held my attention. Recently, met a man who I normally wouldn’t look twice at but got into a very casual conversation with him. I couldn’t get him out of my mind. Nobody would look at him and say, “Wow”, but he’s become gorgeous to me. I don’t think he even knows I’m alive even though I’m physically attractive and have a pretty decent personality (so I’m told), but I can’t get him out of my mind.
I would give it a chance, yeah. Personality can go a long way toward offsetting looks. One or two dates isn’t a big time or money sink, so why not?
Worst that could happen is them turning out to have a shitty personality.
I’ve been attracted to people that I didn’t find physically attractive. If I went out with them, I would either come to find them physically attractive or not–depending on if I like them.
No. Why be physical with someone you are t physically attracted to? Defeats the entire point. Be something else with that person
When I was single I did, more than once. Usually because they had an aspect of their personality that I found very attractive even if there wasn’t initial physical attraction. A sense of humor was always a major win with me, if you could make me laugh I would almost always agree to go out with you.
Intelligence, confidence (NOT arrogance), kindness (NOT “being nice”), sharp wit…all of these things are attractive to me and usually made me willing to give a chance to someone
Oh, also, hygiene was a must. I didn’t/don’t have to be initially attracted to your particular arrangement of facial features or body structure, but if you stink, have bad breath and gross teeth, jagged nails, greasy hair, dirty clothes…I’m almost certainly turning you down. Basic hygiene maintenance is a must
No, unless i really like other things about them.
Yes. I don’t care about looks and view this as shallow- if the relationship was to be long-term, what would happen upon aging, I wonder? To me it’s personality and ethical values that are the deal-breakers.
Yes of course. Looks will always fade.
No. A long-term partner, for me, implies sex. Sex is important to how I form long-term intimate relationships.
If we are not having sex, we are just pals.
If we are having sex, then I need to be attracted to you in order to want to have sex.