My best friend “Jessica” invited me to her $3k+ per person destination wedding…I had to drop out because I couldn’t afford it (family of 4). She was upset I went on a few cheap family day trips instead of saving for her wedding. Things got heated, she said hurtful things, and we stopped talking after “apologies” and then haven’t talked for months.
Now she’s invited me to her wedding dress shopping day (plus spin class, brunch, and an after-party…🤨) with her other friends. I originally offered to plan this day for her to make up for missing the wedding, but she had someone else do it probably because I’m not a bridesmaid.
If I skip, it’s basically the end of the friendship. If I go, it’ll probably be awkward and fake.she is under the impression that we have left on good terms after we apologized (why I had to apologize is beyond me) but we still haven’t talked. So I honestly surprised she invited me to this. Maybe she truly doesn’t realize she damage she caused between us. I told her I need the summer to myself so maybe she’s just respecting that.
Would you go, or let it go?
I only have 2 friends in this world so these past few months I’ve had a lump in my chest debating on dropping her as a friend and only have 1 left… I was hoping after the wedding her bridezilla brain would go away and we could patch this up properly but then again… should I have more self respect?
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I personally think that you should respect yourself and not go because she clearly revolves around herself – and it’s not your burden to save money to attend an event for her, you’re not married to her 😭
Go if you want to. Don’t go if you don’t feel good about it. Dress shopping is not the decision you’re struggling with.
You haven’t chosen if you want to try to salvage the friendship or end it and put that energy into other (or new) friendships.
Reconnecting is a step forward, but it sounds like there’s a lot more work to be done before you’ll feel good about this friendship.
Hell no! Why would you do this to yourself? So she can possible shame you? Stay away from her.
Fuck no. She dumped you once. Why suffer again?
I would go because who the fuck cares about
some awkwardness if your best friend was upset and said shit you found hurtful. If she invited you after “the incident” then she wants you there. This is her way of trying to bring you back.
You are probably both waiting for the other person to initiate conversations because it’s awkward right now. Be the bigger person and just go, you’d be surprised how a tiny bit of effort makes a huge difference.
Just dont talk about it or just dismiss it if she brings it up. I’d stop listening to your family members that have nothing to lose if you lose your best friend permanently, you do.
You have 4 kids, can 1 have an “emergency”? I know it’s not honest but I wish I would have done this at my besties 3rd wedding. I told her I didn’t approve of her husband and didn’t go. Haven’t spoken to her in 5 years, she was my daughter’s “auntie”. We have a cycle of being friends when she is single and me pulling away when she’s not but we are both in our 40’s now and I just need to accept that is how she is, I can’t travel to see her because I have a child with special needs. When she’s here I have to put up with whatever guy she’s with, she has family here and she’s here for holidays. She loves boating, I do not. I let her go do boat things when she’s here. I’d like to have a meal with her when she’s here, any more and I’d be spending the day with her exhausting husband.
Your friend is stacking these activity filled days because she’s the bride and can do that. Once she’s married you can resume a normal friendship.
Don’t go. Put that nail in the coffin. This doesn’t sound like a great relationship anyway. You can make more friends who are genuine…