I (25F) have a niche hobby of puppet-making. I post my creations on Instagram and TikTok and have had support on both. Because a smaller group of people are into this craft the community is pretty small compared to other art forms. Dave (fake name, 32), who also makes puppets has been following me on Instagram for some time and reached out to me a little bit ago about collaborating on an Instagram reel. I agreed as I figured this would be a one time thing.
Eventually I get on the call and it was fine. We chatted puppets for about an hour then left it at that. Dave put the video up pretty quickly and added me as a collaborator. After that he wanted to keep making videos. I agreed because I didn’t want to be mean although I kind of am someone who keeps to myself. I love the art forms I do, but they’re not my whole life. I like to spend time with my boyfriend and friends and quietly do the things I love. I don’t have much free time so when I do I like to spend it accordingly. Dave’s world seems to revolve around puppets and at this point around making videos with me. He’s made videos with other people, but I seem to be the most frequent one. Every time he posts a video with me he messages me to make sure I’ll accept the collaboration invite right away-if I don’t he asks: is the video ok? Do you like the video? Is something wrong with the video? etc.
On our second call, Dave opens up the convo saying someone had just broken up with him. I said in a friendly way “I’m sorry to hear that!” Though this felt kind of personal and an odd way to start a call with someone you just met. I learned that Dave is poly. I said in response to them being poly that I’m not but I know people who are. During that call I mentioned that I have a boyfriend. Dave seemed almost disappointed and asked if my BF makes puppets with me, I said yes. He almost seemed disappointed by that as well. Over time he began messaging me everyday asking to collaborate on puppet videos, saying “I hope you have a wonderful day”, “I hope we can talk soon”, etc. These aren’t inheritably weird things but they feel overwhelming.
Last month I was really feeling overwhelmed, so I kept pushing back our video calls and explaining I was very busy. This was the truth, but I also felt some relief not feeling pressured to be on a call every day. Eventually we called again. During this call Dave said something about me being conventionally attractive. It wasn’t too weird but I kind of ignored it as I felt uncomfortable. After that I went away on vacation. I told him I would be away from this day to this day and wouldn’t be available. Still, he messaged me everyday wanting to collaborate. He also messaged saying I was the most amazing person he’s ever met. He’s said this a few times throughout calls as well. While the sentiment is nice, it’s a weird feeling to be placed on a pedestal like that especially when I’m over here really not feeling the same.
I got back from my vacation and we called again. This was a few days ago-and man I couldn’t really keep track of the uncomfortable statements made. He opened up the convo again by saying he keeps getting rejected on dates because he makes puppets. “Oh that’s too bad, you’ll find someone. Some people just don’t get it”, I said. Again, trying to sway the convo away from relationships. During the call I showed him some other puppets I made. Next to the puppet display there’s a large foam dog-head I made for an art installation. Dave sees the dog head and asks what it is. All I managed to say was “it’s a dog head” before he said “that’s sexy”. I replied with “oh ok” and uncomfortably laughed. I assume he’s a furry. I’m just an artist.
Dave lives across the country from me, but he mentioned he wanted to come to the city I live in and “take puppet headshots in the woods”. I felt uncomfortable again…why the woods?
Last, but certainly not least, Dave says we should make puppets of each other. He said he’s been thinking of making one of me, BUT he wants to send it to me without clothes on. He wants to send me a naked puppet of myself. He…wants…to…send…me…a…naked…puppet…of…myself.
He said he’s already sketched it out. His reasoning is so I can clothe the puppet myself. Will my naked puppet have real anatomy?…And why is he picturing me naked…
Anyway I don’t really know what to do about this. I had an “internet friend” a few years ago who def had an obsession with me and ended up staying at my apartment. It was so bad I had to kick them out. I have a knack for letting people with no boundaries into my life. I really need to start changing that.
I know what I should do (set boundaries-perhaps block) but what’s the best course of action?
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Backup of the post’s body: I (25F) have a niche hobby of puppet-making. I post my creations on Instagram and TikTok and have had support on both. Because a smaller group of people are into this craft the community is pretty small compared to other art forms. Dave (fake name, 32), who also makes puppets has been following me on Instagram for some time and reached out to me a little bit ago about collaborating on an Instagram reel. I agreed as I figured this would be a one time thing.
Eventually I get on the call and it was fine. We chatted puppets for about an hour then left it at that. Dave put the video up pretty quickly and added me as a collaborator. After that he wanted to keep making videos. I agreed because I didn’t want to be mean although I kind of am someone who keeps to myself. I love the art forms I do, but they’re not my whole life. I like to spend time with my boyfriend and friends and quietly do the things I love. I don’t have much free time so when I do I like to spend it accordingly. Dave’s world seems to revolve around puppets and at this point around making videos with me. He’s made videos with other people, but I seem to be the most frequent one. Every time he posts a video with me he messages me to make sure I’ll accept the collaboration invite right away-if I don’t he asks: is the video ok? Do you like the video? Is something wrong with the video? etc.
On our second call, Dave opens up the convo saying someone had just broken up with him. I said in a friendly way “I’m sorry to hear that!” Though this felt kind of personal and an odd way to start a call with someone you just met. I learned that Dave is poly. I said in response to them being poly that I’m not but I know people who are. During that call I mentioned that I have a boyfriend. Dave seemed almost disappointed and asked if my BF makes puppets with me, I said yes. He almost seemed disappointed by that as well. Over time he began messaging me everyday asking to collaborate on puppet videos, saying “I hope you have a wonderful day”, “I hope we can talk soon”, etc. These aren’t inheritably weird things but they feel overwhelming.
Last month I was really feeling overwhelmed, so I kept pushing back our video calls and explaining I was very busy. This was the truth, but I also felt some relief not feeling pressured to be on a call every day. Eventually we called again. During this call Dave said something about me being conventionally attractive. It wasn’t too weird but I kind of ignored it as I felt uncomfortable. After that I went away on vacation. I told him I would be away from this day to this day and wouldn’t be available. Still, he messaged me everyday wanting to collaborate. He also messaged saying I was the most amazing person he’s ever met. He’s said this a few times throughout calls as well. While the sentiment is nice, it’s a weird feeling to be placed on a pedestal like that especially when I’m over here really not feeling the same.
I got back from my vacation and we called again. This was a few days ago-and man I couldn’t really keep track of the uncomfortable statements made. He opened up the convo again by saying he keeps getting rejected on dates because he makes puppets. “Oh that’s too bad, you’ll find someone. Some people just don’t get it”, I said. Again, trying to sway the convo away from relationships. During the call I showed him some other puppets I made. Next to the puppet display there’s a large foam dog-head I made for an art installation. Dave sees the dog head and asks what it is. All I managed to say was “it’s a dog head” before he said “that’s sexy”. I replied with “oh ok” and uncomfortably laughed. I assume he’s a furry. I’m just an artist.
Dave lives across the country from me, but he mentioned he wanted to come to the city I live in and “take puppet headshots in the woods”. I felt uncomfortable again…why the woods?
Last, but certainly not least, Dave says we should make puppets of each other. He said he’s been thinking of making one of me, BUT he wants to send it to me without clothes on. He wants to send me a naked puppet of myself. He…wants…to…send…me…a…naked…puppet…of…myself.
He said he’s already sketched it out. His reasoning is so I can clothe the puppet myself. Will my naked puppet have real anatomy?…And why is he picturing me naked…
Anyway I don’t really know what to do about this. I had an “internet friend” a few years ago who def had an obsession with me and ended up staying at my apartment. It was so bad I had to kick them out. I have a knack for letting people with no boundaries into my life. I really need to start changing that.
I know what I should do (set boundaries-perhaps block) but what’s the best course of action?
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