Upfront, lumpsum 300m after tax, but you lose any sense for your bowel movements and bladder. In other words, no warning signs for when you are about to defecate or urinate; it just happens when it happens.
The only aid that technology can provide you is a device that will give you 10 seconds beep sound warning before you sh*t/pee your pants, at a cost of 10k per use (can be turned off).
Condition: you must be at most 30 years old to accept this offer.
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Copy of the original post in case of edits: Upfront, lumpsum 300m after tax, but you lose any sense for your bowel movements and bladder. In other words, no warning signs for when you are about to defecate or urinate; it just happens when it happens.
The only aid that technology can provide you is a device that will give you 10 seconds beep sound warning before you sh*t/pee your pants, at a cost of 10k per use (can be turned off).
Condition: you must be at most 30 years old to accept this offer.
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So, like the current head of state for the States?
A shit bag will do just fine. I’ll pay someone plenty to keep it clean and such.
Is there a different offer for the 30+ crowd?
I wear a condom on my dick and put a butt plug in
I learned the hard way to not trust a fart.
Ok maybe I didn’t learn so good.
Either way I’m in.
That’s an easy yes all you’d need is a watch that beeps every hour for 300m USD I’d go check every hour or two for the rest of my life.
No, quality of life is priceless.
I’m 30 and have had this issue my entire life. I need to pee and poo on a regular schedule because i kinda never feel the need to. For reference, if i forget to pee long enough, my kidneys hurt.
Taking this deal, 300m and no change to my life lmao
There is a good device called an anal plug.
So I can just game on a custom toilet LMAO
Ohhhhh! Control… you wrote sense….
300mil.
So I get myself a colostomy bag which isn’t really that big of a deal and if I’m going out I take a conveen catheter (think thick, sticky condom with a tube coming out the end) with me.
For the people stating quality of life. What would improve my QOL immensely is not having to go to work 40 hours a week.
Easy.
So I’m just like Trump but richer?
From the wording I say I would take the deal.
Not having feeling of the need to pee or poo is different from not having actual control of your bowels. To that end if I pee and poo on a set schedule and maybe wear an adult diaper at night the quality of my life wouldnt decrease as much as it would increase from having 300m and never having to work again.
Does it also affect my vision? Pupils are sphincters too, you know.
300mill? I’m suckin it.
Upfront – big money
Outback – shits and giggles
Diaper and buttplug
300m buys a lot of diapers and even a clean up crew. Get your check book.
Sure. Ill just learn not to give a fuck. Being rich as fuck.
Deal. I was gonna say just wear a diaper, but that’s f you money so no diaper. It just is what it is
For 300m I’m pretty sure I’d be able to get over needing to wear an adult nappy.
With powers like this you could be President of the United States in two inexplicable non-consecutive terms!
How much does a colostomy bag cost?
colostomy bags coming in clutch
I’m all set, if I’m ever a millionaire that much I want to enjoy my money and my youth not walking around with fucking shit in my pants
Easy, I’ll take the money & start a Natural Health trend. I put a couple million into telling everybody that “taking a shit or piss immediately whenever you need to no matter where you are is healthy & spiritual & sustainable.
I feel like the only acceptable answer is “Depends” – which is both a wonderfully concrete and ambiguous answer at the same time.
All sphincters or just the bowel and bladder? You have like 70 sphincters in your body
Regardless, no
Even if you can’t feel the sphincter you have voluntary control over it. Your bowel can feel pressure and so does your bladder. As the challenge is written nothing changes with urination (you’ll still be about to tell you need to pee and control it) and the only change you get to passing solid waste is a judge on whether it’s solid, liquid, or gas.
So… This is just free money.
My Dad had a spinal cord injury when we was in the Air Force. The surgeons then botched the surgery leaving shards of his spine that they left in him that continued to damage his spinal cord for several years. In his early 30s, he lost control of his bowels and he has no control of his sphincter muscles as well as no sensation. He is stubborn and never wanted to wear a diaper or have a colostomy bag.
Since the early 90s, he has trained his body to have a bowel movement around a certain time of day. He sits on the toilet and waits for it to happen. He reads the paper and checks his email. Once it is done, he goes about his day as normal. If he can do it, anyone can do it. 300 million dollars is definitely the answer.
My poops are roughly 12hrs a part so I’m good. I’ll just plop a squat between 5-530am and in the afternoon
I wear diapers for fun, soooo okay!
Theres more than one sphincter
My stomach usually warns me before my butt. I’ll take it. Worst case scenario is a colostomy bag and catheter.
I have Spina bifida so I already deal with this sign me up
Does the loss of sphincter only affect bowel movements? Because your mouth is considered a sphincter too…
Yeah this is easy. I’m just losing the sense part and not the control of the sphincter. I usually poop anywhere from 15-30mins after a meal and if I eat fatty foods or eat at all you can eat restaurants I poop multiple times right after. So as long as I remember that, I’m good. And for peeing, I mean just try to pee every 3 hours or so. Set an alarm and you’re good.
No.
OP is going to hit 30 some day and be surprised they don’t shit their pants every day.
I’m over 30 but this seems easily doable with adult diapers
Sure. It would be worth a colostomy for $300M. Not ideal but the trade off would be worth it imho. And if colostomy isn’t an option I’ll just jam in a butt plug and call it a day.
Am I also going to be president of the USA as well?
Daipers
nah I like my sphincters