You SHOULD be friends with your coworkers

r/

In every job/industry subreddit I keep seeing the advice that “your coworkers aren’t your friends”, and honestly I think that’s bs.

You spend eight hours a day, five days a week with those people. By definition you have at least one thing in common you can talk about, and probably more, since occupations tend to attract similar personalities to them. Those factors alone should be enough, but there’s more. You want someone to cover your shift, or help you with a project? Who are you more comfortable asking, someone who you barely even know their name, or someone who’s actually your friend? Similarly, who would you be more willing to help out when asked?

You want to network in your industry and rise through the ranks or grow in your career? For that you need people who can trust you and who you, in turn, can also trust. When the manager considers who should be promoted, do you honestly think they’ll only look at the metrics of your performance? No, they’ll take into account who’s a friendly presence in the office, and who’s the weirdo that never hangs out after work and nobody knows anything about.

At the very least, and if nothing else, would you rather spend half your waking hours around people who are your friends, or around people that you barely know?

Comments

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  2. SuzCoffeeBean Avatar

    Anti social people giving others bad advice and then all we get to hear about is how lonely everyone is.

    If you’re even halfway lucky you get a built in little social network in the workplace. Hell, people used to get married to their workmates.

  3. Intrepid-Ad-9360 Avatar

    Depends on the job. With more serious jobs I think professionalism is really important and that tough with friends.

  4. NoahtheRed Avatar

    Sounds like you should be friendly with your coworkers, but you don’t have to be friends to be friendly.

  5. indywizard08 Avatar

    But what if my co-workers are rude assholes

  6. Marcoyolo69 Avatar

    I teach history, no one besides my co workers wants to crush beers and rank Napoleons marshals with me

  7. wiLd_p0tat0es Avatar

    I don’t disagree with the basic thoughts of this post, but don’t like the word “should.” I don’t think there’s a right way or wrong way to be; also, not every job lends itself well to friendships.

    In my own career, I am 10-15 years younger than most of my positional peers. The folks who are my age? They are in lower-level roles and there’s an uncomfortable power imbalance to try to create friendships there. It wouldn’t be appropriate. Meanwhile, I am not really keen on being Actual Friends with people 15 years or more older than me (I’m 35).

    So while I get along with everyone at work and do consider them “work friends,” there’s really only like… one person from work with whom I socialize at all outside of the workday. And that’s just fine.

  8. DangerousBathroom420 Avatar

    Some of my best friends are from the workplace. Some are even people I managed or they managed me. 

    Be friends with your coworkers. It’s so much more fun.

  9. Training_Swan_308 Avatar

    Seems like you’re describing being friendly vs. actual friends. There is room for real friendship but it does become tricky navigating the personal and professional in a relationship. I would have to be very close to a coworker to be as open with them as I would be with a friend, and even then probably more guarded.

  10. Scary-Try3023 Avatar

    In my profession (software dev) it’s probably the best way I’ve found to meet new people who have hobbies and interests similar to mine.

  11. ay1mao Avatar

    If the coworkers are decent, non-gossiping, non-cutthroat people? Maybe. Otherwise, terrible advice. Take my +1.

  12. Sumo-Subjects Avatar

    Yeah people behave like everyone’s out here to backstab you but then just keep your coworkers at a healthy distance when it comes to work related stuff? The average American changes jobs every 3-4 years so you know your coworkers today might not be tomorrow and you can then be friends without any restrictions but usually you need a baseline for that to happen

    3 of my closest friendships started at the workplace and deepened when we stopped being coworkers but if I had decided to be purely professional with them while we were at the same job we likely wouldn’t have stayed in touch and become friends afterwards.

  13. TeamChaosenjoyer Avatar

    Yeah nah you really don’t have to if your lead or supervisor is worth anything they’ll see your performance instantly mine had to talk to me multiple times about acting dumber than i actually was got promotions out of it just based on performance I just don’t like the spotlight or talking or people in general for that matter but ig I’m lucky.

  14. Icmha Avatar

    I’m incredibly shy when it comes to making new friends but I agree. Over the years I’ve developed good relationships with my coworkers, and even bosses, that have made life much easier and happier. I don’t expect them to be the same as my outside of work friends, and I understand they’re some lines that shouldn’t be crossed between boss and subordinate. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love me a little outside of work gathering and sharing stories.

    People keep talking about a competitive work environment but I’m not jealous of my coworkers achievements and I haven’t noticed any of them jealous of mine yet. If it happens, I’ll cross that bridge when it comes to it.

  15. Imnotawerewolf Avatar

    I think they mean less that you shouldn’t be friends with your coworkers and more that you shouldn’t assume your coworkers are your close loyal friends just by virtue of working together. 

  16. bahumat42 Avatar

    Friendly?

    Yes

    Friends?

    Thats up to the individual.

    Being courteous and open to talking to your colleagues is helpful. Being able to trade secrets and watch infinity war is less so.

    Although you were more referring to the rampant nepotism, and from that aspect of career progression you are correct.

    Still that only matters if you care to progress, some people are happy for a job to be a job.

  17. LoveHurtsDaMost Avatar

    You should try to be friends with everyone you meet. Unfortunately people are entitled and expect you to behave based on their assumptions and it doesn’t work unless you’re willing to disrespect yourself for their ignorant fantasy.

    But work wise yeah, every team works more efficiently if you can communicate properly and get along.

  18. large_crimson_canine Avatar

    Fully agreed. Will increase productivity by a lot. Good to have lots of trust and camaraderie.

  19. Melgel4444 Avatar

    I think the word “friend” and “acquaintance” needs to be better understood.

    We aren’t telling people to dislike their coworkers – we tell them to keep coworkers at an arms length. What does this mean?

    I’ll happily chat about vacations, music, books, nature, pets etc.
    I will not talk about my spouse or family members or reveal anything very personal about my life.
    They are acquaintances I like a lot, they are not my friends.

    I will not call them outside of work hours if I’m in trouble or need to talk, I wont invite them to my home for social events etc, I won’t confide I hate X or y about work. Those are things I do with friends.

    I believe in the separation of work and personal life for many reasons.

  20. defneverconsidered Avatar

    Bro doesn’t understand the phrase

  21. IAMgrampas_diaperAMA Avatar

    I’ve made my best friends in the whole world at my job. I’ve also been royally fucked over in a job from someone I thought was a friend. Idk man. I just keep my head down and go home now.

  22. Sitheral Avatar

    In a perfect world, yes.

    In ours, be very very, I cannot stress it enough, very careful who do you put your trust in.

    And always remember one thing: words are easy. Only when you examine acts do you know something about the person.

    That goes for everyone but coworkers should be treated as a special case simply because they often have something to gain from being nice to you and little reason to not be.

  23. ThisPostToBeDeleted Avatar

    I really have no social life outside of work so I try to be friends with everyone

  24. Sufficient-Berry-827 Avatar

    No. Coworkers are not to be trusted. When it comes to people’s money they will not hesitate to save their own ass. The implicit sense of competition means you cannot trust that person.

    I have no professional need to climb ladders or feel competitive in any work environment, so I have always tried to be helpful and lead with kindness and integrity. And that has ALWAYS fucked me up.

    I am friendly and polite, but I no longer trust anyone in a work environment.

  25. Cloud_N0ne Avatar

    I would be, but most of them are way out of my age range and/or insufferable to talk to

  26. impliedhearer Avatar

    I think of it like this: getting along with your coworkers is a part of your job

    It’s a very specific type of relationship that kind of combines friends and colleagues. If you are too friendly then it’s really awkward if/when things go wrong.

  27. optix_clear Avatar

    When I worked in an office everyone was cutthroat and undermining every one, so no I didn’t trust my coworkers, I had cameras in my cubicle and computers.
    Moved in to private sector, where ppl can work together and depend on others even volunteers. I like that.

  28. Acminvan Avatar

    Yeah as others have said there’s a big difference between friends and friendly.

    I have no desire to hang out with my work colleagues outside of work and they know little about my private life yet I am friendly to everyone and a popular person in the office. It’s two totally different things.

    To answer your last question “would you rather spend half your waking hours around people who are your friends, or around people that you barely know”?

    I would rather spend my working day around people who are polite, competent, friendly and respectful and who get the work done. That still doesn’t mean they are my friends.

  29. neonjewel Avatar

    I’m friendly but I’m not friends with them

  30. kittens_and_jesus Avatar

    My namebadge says “Stern and Unfriendly”. That’s right I come with a warning lable and you can guess what I think of the OP.

  31. klimekam Avatar

    I worked with the same office for 5 years. I thought I was incredibly close friends with them, like true friendship. I let my guard down and was really myself around them.

    After I had to leave my job due to illness, only ONE of them ever reached out to see how I was doing after I left.

    Never again lol

  32. monotoonz Avatar

    I’m fine being cool with my coworkers, but I almost never hang out with them outside of work. Very rare for me to.

    At the end of the day, o. I’m there to do a job, not make friends. If I happen to become cool with people, great. If not, nothing lost.

  33. DeadLetterOfficer Avatar

    I’m anti social, shy and introverted and most jobs I’ve worked in I’ve ended up making friends. It’s sort of hard not to when you’re spending 40+ hrs a week with people. It’s no different than any other environment, most friends you meet through happenstance.

  34. Ashamed_Ladder6161 Avatar

    You can’t guarantee your coworkers are worth a shit, no more than anyone you pass on the street. The time you’re stuck with them isn’t a factor.

    As someone else said; friendly? Yes. Friends? Depends.

    I once worked with a guy who had his hand in the till. Not his own till, but those of his colleagues. Got away with it for years. We all used to get a kicking… Fuck that guy.

    We don’t get to choose our coworkers, I’m sure as hell going to choose my friends.

  35. nothing-_special Avatar

    Really depends on the situation.

  36. Appropriate_Tea9048 Avatar

    I think it’s important to at least try to be friendly with them. But being friends isn’t necessary. Friendship is more than just time together at work and taking at work. You want to make sure you’re 1. Choosing friendships that work for you and 2. Not making things messy at work. This isn’t up to anyone else but each individual person.

  37. filthnfury Avatar

    Agree. Some of my closest friends were made at work. Helps you get through tough days at the office and also helpful for your career once you leave the company.

  38. Infinite-Top-3799 Avatar

    I work in a tiny office in a small town where everyone knows everyone. I moved here from out of state. Nobody but my partner and a few of their friends know me at the office outside of work. I wouldn’t even call those people friends as we have nothing in common besides our jobs and mutual acquaintances. Everyone else that I work with are not the kinds of people I’d want to be friends with. Small town problems I guess, but the gossipy scene where everyone talks shit about everyone whether they know a person well or not…no thanks. I keep to myself as a result and I don’t think that makes me a weirdo, maybe an introvert at the most.

    Not every work environment is full of great people with great intentions. I pick my friends carefully and I don’t care if I see someone everyday, If we don’t get on then we don’t, and I’m not going to force it. I’m plenty friendly and polite, but that’s about as far as its going to go. Everyone’s work place is different and so are the people,

  39. RicardoFrijoles Avatar

    I’m here to make money, not friends. That said if I make a few friends I’m all for it, won’t force it though.

  40. ScuBityBup Avatar

    Are your colleagues your friends by definition because you spend a lot of time with them? No.

    Should you make friends with them? No.

    Must you be their friend? No.

    Can you be friends with them? Yes.

    Must you be kind and respectful? Yes. As should they.

  41. damnit_maybe Avatar

    Fuck that. I work for money. That’s it. Not here for making friends or connecting or networking. I’ll do my job %100 then go home and not say a word to anyone if not necessary.

  42. IssaLeoone Avatar

    I feel like It’s different for me. I work in a pub and most of us are quite friendly with each other, going as far as going out drinking together outside of work. Sure, some people are more friendly or closer to others, but the majority of us get on pretty well. The managers feel like your friend, and someone is sharing their personal problems at least once a week. Some are telling us their life story every shift.

    It’s that thing of dealing with stupid and entitled customers, some demanding special treatment because they spend more than others. You don’t get treated differently because you’re spending £40 a day on booze, if anything you’re just an alcoholic and we’re nice so you spend more. More money = more work hours.

  43. defensiveminded2020 Avatar

    Your work “friends” wont be there for you in unison when you get disrespected by the higher up of some sort. and when you decide to call out the bullshit in the company, Most people don’t have that integrity in the corporate world. The rat race is real and it’s everyone for themselves. And I’m pretty sure people get promoted for their hard work and their ability to finish work on deadlines and not for having daily gossip on Celebrity news.

  44. cinnamon_oatie Avatar

    I agree. I did a job I hated for a company I hated for many years. The first 3/4 of that I refrained from being too friendly, thinking it was unprofessional. The last couple years I became mates with my coworkers and it made the job and my life happier.

  45. Binnie_B Avatar

    Agreed!

    Coworkers are NOT friends.

  46. Brrdock Avatar

    Seems fucking miserable to work over a half of your waking life with people you don’t even consider friends.

    Coworkers are the number one thing for work satisfaction, IMO. Even more important than what you do for a living.

    I’d have a blast shoveling shit 8h a day with my best buds, or some of my coworkers

  47. OscarGrey Avatar

    I’m bi and most of them aren’t cool with that 🤷🏽‍♂️. For a lack of a better description, I’m not a radical activist type even though I’m decently versed in queer history and history of activism and queer studies. I still laugh at a lot of gay/homoerotic jokes on shows like Family Guy. But it does irk me how your take ignores how much very real bigotry and closemindedness still exists in the world.

  48. Xeeven_ Avatar

    One of the best jobs I’ve ever had was being a dishwasher in the kitchen industry. Maybe it was because I was younger, people were more friendly, nobody was out to get each other.

    We would all hang out every Friday, Saturday night and party. That is, until the bartender started giving out free shots and the owner found out. Everybody slowly got replaced, and I was the last one of the original kitchen staff..

    God, I miss those days before all the drama started. One of the best times of my life. We had a neat group.

  49. PsychologicalMurl Avatar

    Some subreddits are so dumb. Where the fuck else were you going to actually make friends? You see these people every day hell in some cases you’re never not in the same room with each other. I don’t get it.

  50. Noumenonana Avatar

    Gotta love that your first instinct is to label someone who doesn’t hang out after work as a “weirdo.”

  51. Ok-Engineering-5475 Avatar

    Being friends with people of the same gender you work with is fine. I’ve seen way too many instances of good, moral, kind people (especially guys) who get misled or mistreated by someone (often times women) they fell hard for and often times it doesn’t work and negative situations develop. 
    A year ago my guy who I think is 31 is one of the nicest, friendliest men I know and the pretty girl at the office, who we referred to as “white widow spider” but he didn’t know about her tendencies due to wanting to keep their friendship private, led him on hardcore and he eventually got fired for harassment. The girl caused issues before but when you mess with a nice guy who is well beloved by everyone, let’s just say it didn’t work out well for her either. The dude was emotionally damaged by her and caused pain to his life. Prior to that situation he told me he was 5’11 180lbs. Saw him 4 months after he unjustifiably got fired and he ballooned up to 240lbs. 60lbs in 4 months is a lot of eating lol Even the good ones can get caught up into negative situations with someone of the opposite gender

  52. crooKkTV Avatar

    I have found there is a big difference between 9-5 Monday to Friday work where everyone is stuck in a cubicle and rotational workers who live together, eat together, workout together and go through all the ups and downs together.

    Have done both and I would run through a wall for some of the rotational crew, but have formed 0 strong connections to office workers, despite them being awesome people.

    I think the reason is because I never get a break from the office (a 2 day weekend kind of sucks), whereas I work 28 days on a rotation but also get a 28 day break from in during my off time.

  53. Impossible_Ad1269 Avatar

    As someone who plays DnD with my coworkers and pebble several of them on a daily basis and has considered asking one out romantically….

    I fucking disagree deeply with this opinion. Updoot

  54. General-Drag-2741 Avatar

    There’s what I tell my friends and what I would tell a coworker… and they don’t overlap much. Being too involved with your coworkers is more of a hinderance… when I got promoted to run my office, part of the reason was that I WAS NOT everyone’s friend. Friendly, yes, but real, actual friends, no.

    If you’re actively good friends with a coworker, you can’t be put in charge of that coworker. You’re a liability to the company right off the bat, because you’re likely to play favorites, and even if you don’t, it won’t keep others from accusing you of it.

    There’s a very capable woman in my office that’s been here for over a decade. Lovely woman. Too close to other coworkers, though. I could never promote her to be over these people, because she is too close to too many people, and she represents too much of a liability due to those connections. She’s too close, they share too much, and I can’t ensure that she wouldn’t talk about management things with nonmanagement… Also, the caliber of people you become good friends with at work reflects on you, and that’s fine if everyone at work does their job well, but if they don’t, someone else’s bad performance can reflect on you simply because you’re too close to them.

    I never hire friends and I never befriend people I work with, because it’s business, and business has to remain business. Once it gets personal, shit gets outta hand.

  55. Theryantshow Avatar

    Nah man I go to work to make money and that’s it. I don’t work in a office sitcom where I pal around with my kooky coworkers. Leave people alone and let them do their jobs.

  56. AnybodySeeMyKeys Avatar

    I think the better term is ‘relationship.’

    Mind you, I have some lifelong friends I’ve made through work, either as colleagues or clients.

    But I try to have a good relationship with everybody I work with, including inviting them to lunch on occasion or chitchatting about one another’s lives in downtime.

    This is so important to do. Because people do business with people. If you get into a jam at work, if you need someone to support you in something, if you want to be included in meetings, etc. etc., those relationships become incredibly valuable.

    And if you move on to another job, you never know when you’ll run into those people again. And if they’re trying to fill a slot, you might be just the person for the position.

  57. Jlt42000 Avatar

    I think you’re confusing the difference between acquaintance and friend. I’m friendly will even will go have a few beers with some co workers after work or have them over to grill out.

    But I’ve only got 3-4 actual friends I’d trust with the keys to my house.

  58. PapasvhillyMonster Avatar

    Not a bad thing but keep it small

  59. 5DsofDodgeball69 Avatar

    I’m friendly with my co-workers.

    Every time I start becoming friends with them, I sleep with them.

  60. thefinestporcelain Avatar

    I say “keep your enemies closer”. We should not trust everyone out there, unless we know somebody that would fight for us no matter what.

    Besides that be respectful, cordial and helpful. And kind.

    Always be careful what we say, unless somebody shares something that is worthy of us saying something.

  61. Confident_Jump_6669 Avatar

    I don’t really understand the people that think you shouldn’t be befriend coworkers. If not at work, where else do these people make friends?

  62. dirtyblackboots Avatar

    Some of the best friends I’ve ever made, I made at work. A few that I don’t doubt will be my friends for a lifetime. One will definitely be in my wedding.

  63. InfiniteQuestion420 Avatar

    “Don’t be friends with your coworkers” needs to also explain what industry they are talking about. More social jobs tend to lead to more friendships versus more jobs were your required to destroy your body tend to lead to being too tired to have a social life and when you do it’s usually something you don’t share with people like drinking or drugs. Sometimes you really don’t need or want to know why your coworker calls in sick all the time or is moody in the morning or hungover or……….

  64. OneAd2988 Avatar

    A soured friendship with a coworker can cost you your job. This has happened to me.

  65. danis-inferno Avatar

    I think people forget that “friends” is a broad term, and that not all friends have to be equal or serve the same purpose. I also think that it’s mostly people in corporate America who push the whole “your coworkers are not your friends” thing (and mostly those on social media too).

    I’m not American, and I live in a country where it’s completely normal to make friends with the people you work with. Nobody says you have to befriend everyone in the office, nor do you have to become super close friends with people, but it’s not this taboo thing that’s frowned upon. And frankly, I think I’d hate my job a lot more than i already do if I didn’t have friends there. They’re not my best friends, but we talk about things that normal friends would discuss, and we hang out outside of the office.

    I agree with your post to an extent, but I think it should be optional. That said, i really wish the sentiment of avoiding friendships with coworkers would die out.

  66. neonkiwi111 Avatar

    I think it depends on the industry. I met a lot of my very close friends and my current long term partner working in restaurants. I’ve moved on from that line of work, and I don’t plan on making bffs with anyone I work with now. But bar friends stick, being in the weeds together bonds you!

  67. sunshineandcats21 Avatar

    I don’t think you should or have to be friends with your coworkers. In my field those relationships tend to build with how we work together. I can definitely see how in some professions that’s not a possibility or would become tricky.

  68. Soren_Camus1905 Avatar

    You gotta remember this is Reddit

  69. G_Art33 Avatar

    I’m friendly with all of my coworkers. Are we friends in the same sense as my regular group that I hang out with? No. Definitely not.

    Would I still show up for them if they needed my help outside of work hours with a project or something? In a heartbeat.

    Would I call them to go to the casino on a Saturday night? Probably not.

    Would I say no if they called me for the same thing? Of course not, I’d go.

    I will invite them to my wedding but I won’t be upset if they say they can’t go.

    I’d say we are friendly. friends yes but close friends? No.

  70. Longjumping-Diet-570 Avatar

    I agree to a certain extent. Until it comes to joking around or saying inappropriate things that you wouldn’t think twice about saying with your regular friends. They WILL NOT have your back and will throw you under bus with no hesitation

  71. readitmoderator Avatar

    you don’t need to be friends with someone to get work done

  72. Rick_Jameson Avatar

    Im a firefighter, so it’s a little bit of a different situation. We basically live with eachother for 24 hour clips. But the fact that I’m friends with my coworkers is one of the coolest parts of my job.

  73. AmettOmega Avatar

    So, I think you should be friendly with your coworkers. But I am very cautious about calling people at work “friends”. I’ve seen and experienced too many situations where coworkers through each other under the bus at the drop of the hat. I mean, there was one job where I thought I was friends with several of my coworkers. Got laid off, and only one person reached out. That hit hard and made me realize that folks at work are rarely your friends.

    Not saying it’s impossible (as I’ve made friends from work), but I think it’s something that needs to be carefully navigated.

  74. Curious-Bottle-7391 Avatar

    You should be friendly with your coworkers , nor necessarily friends

  75. rumog Avatar

    People aren’t saying you can’t or shouldn’t be friends with them- they’re just saying you aren’t friends by default and should’t expect the same behavior you would get from a friend. Until/unless you become actual friends, you’re just co-workers/acquaintances, and that’s the kind of relationship behavior you should expect. You should be nice and civil to your co-workers. Anything beyond that is up to the individuals.

  76. Regular_Primary_6850 Avatar

    Work friends and personal friends are something different.
    They can be the same, but they don’t necessarily need to be.

    Also, lots of people forget that you can be friendly without having to be friends.

  77. Bitchi3atppl Avatar

    We play this game called tagass where you have to get a picture of someone in their room but within the door frame.
    Whoever’s hit has to tag someone else.
    I appreciate these people so much.

  78. Orrickly Avatar

    Look, I’ll wear the mask like some kind of sociopath and act like I’m having a great time chatting it up with you, but I’ll tie a string to a hamster and send it up my ass for cornflakes before I hang out with a coworker in my free time.

  79. kirstensnow Avatar

    not ALL of your co-workers are your friends. I don’t like some of em, and it’s important to get past that idea that someone you work with needs to be your friend. But some are friend material. My mom’s best friend was her co-worker and 20 years later with multiple different companies in the way and different paths they’re still best friends. That’s real friendship, but I bet my mom had a million of other co-workers she called her friends that just stopped talking once she left the company, not out of any anger but just because they were situational friends

  80. Western-Bad-667 Avatar

    Work involves a social contract where most ppl agree that it’s best to get along and be friendly since you’re stuck with each other. Sometimes you can end up buddies outside work but I’ve had several good work friends that were just that. Once we didn’t work together anymore we actually didn’t have a lot in common.

  81. SayitagainCraig Avatar

    Fuck that. Y’all leave me alone and let’s part ways at the end of the day.

  82. oceanwtr Avatar

    You should be FRIENDLY with your coworkers, but you should not be FRIENDS.

  83. northshorehermit Avatar

    What is OP’s age?

  84. Puzzle13579 Avatar

    I’ll pick my friends, not some dickhead at a place of employment.

  85. CityKay Avatar

    I think I know where you are getting at. Yes, you should try and get along with your coworkers, especially if you are expected to work as a team.

    I see this as a reaction to the “do not be friends”, which honestly that saying does rub me the wrong way. Like that implies you will walk over your coworkers to rise in the ranks no matter what. I think we all had “that one manager” in our work experience, who would then get fired a couple months after, for example.

  86. Boomshockalocka007 Avatar

    My first year….I hated we had a work group chat. My 3rd year here….the groupchat is the only thing keeping me staying! Haha

  87. Skittilybop Avatar

    I have friends and family outside of work, that’s enough socializing. I am friendly with co-workers, support them at work, chat about work appropriate things in my personal life, and gripe about work a bit. I never trash talk or throw anyone under the bus either.

    However, one day we might be competing for a promotion, the boss will be choosing which one of us to fire, or our objectives might clash.

    So I avoid getting too involved with them.

  88. rottingineng Avatar

    I don’t know how people survive an in person 9-5 without friends 😭 There are definitely people who can’t be trusted but that’s life

  89. snowycabininthewoods Avatar

    Sure but at least in my experience once you leave the job you never hear from those “friends” again. 

    I still have work friends but I treat them like innies from severance. Once either of us quits we are essentially dead to the other.

  90. PleaseNoDM Avatar

    Be polite and professional, not sure abt being friends

  91. depleteduranian Avatar

    I’ve worked not prestigious jobs before and it’s basically you on a team together versus the customer and management. Yeah, it’s a shitty job but you get like a camaraderie going that’s not there in 9-5’s and definitely not there in skilled, professional careers.

    I never encountered anybody being a snitch or a shit-stirrer or rolling on their coworkers to higher-ups for what are essentially table scraps, when I worked in kitchens or Starbucks and definitely not in construction. I immediately encountered it in the military to the point that it was just the norm for 90% of those people and quite a bit in corporate culture, though by that time I feel like I knew better than to treat with coworkers on any serious, intimate level.

  92. ChrystineDreams Avatar

    I work in a relatively small company in the trades. (20 people in the office). I have zero in common with any of my coworkers outside of our workplace. I don’t share any common interests, hobbies, religion, political leanings, worldview. I wouldn’t even want to be friends with some of these people, many are bigoted, misogynistic and mean spirited in the sense of “I was only joking dude” backhanded remarks.

    In spite of these massive differences, we can all get along at work, be sociable in the lunch room and for company events, and work together, communicate, keep this company successful.

  93. JJP3641 Avatar

    Nice try Elon.

  94. Ok_Problem_6473 Avatar

    Honestly,  the qualities in most of my coworkers that I don’t like,  heavily outweigh the qualities in them I find acceptable.   The only way I enjoy my job is by being away from their “sicknesses”.  I don’t like the things they talk about,  I don’t like the way they live their lives,  I don’t have any shared interests or hobbies with them,  and honestly a lot of things I have been healing in myself they constantly try to put back on me.   Their speech patterns are not ones I want to follow,  their goals are not in line with mine and their overall outlook on life is so far away from mine that I would absolutely never associate myself with these people if I didn’t happen to work in the same company. 

    I might work with them and my life might be “easier” if I were to be “friends”, but then I would be stuck in the same pit of self wallow that my coworkers thrive in. So in this instance,  I prefer to be by myself and away from them. 

  95. LesserValkyrie Avatar

    I mean, take the most out of your coworkers, be kind, etc. etc.

    But that doesn’t mean you are their friend by the end of the day, just an excellent coworker

    I start being friend with coworkers only after I left the company, if life wants so.

    There are subjects you share with friends that you should never share to coworkers.

    Not being friend with your coworkers ; it doesn’t mean you must talk to nobody and be pissed off all the time and act like everyone you want you dead.

    Network, good relationship with people and having fun is really really important to make days shorter so you can see your real friends all fresh after work.

    It makes your days really easy too, people work hard towards making life at work easier to people they like. Being liked at work creates 90% of your opportunities and good things in your career. Hard work is far from paying as much.

    But a friend is more than that what you can allow yourself to be with a coworker.

  96. PeioPinu Avatar

    Hahahahaha

    No.

    Therefore, upvote.

  97. InternationalTap5466 Avatar

    If you’re not going to happy hours and holiday parties your co workers are 1000% calling you weird behind ur back

  98. fernfur Avatar

    wow, an actual unpopular opinion on r/unpopularopinion. I’m shocked /s

  99. PushThePig28 Avatar

    Last thing I want to do is hang out with my coworker and have them see me do molly at a concert and stay out until 6am.

    I’ve got tons of friends to go camping, skiing, climbing, biking, rafting, concerts, party, or just hang with. Got plans every weekend with at least one out of multiple friend groups – I’ve got no need to integrate my coworkers into that, it could only cause issues. I’m friendly and shoot the shit/joke with them at work but outside of work my personal life and work life are separate. Still need to keep guarded with them and professional.

  100. dong_tea Avatar

    Unless you already know each other or formed an unusually tight bond, your co-worker friends are fair-weather friends at best. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t hang out with them, but you’d be delusional to consider them true friends.

  101. she-never-sleeps Avatar

    Oh dude, I so badly wanted to believe this with my previous job. I wanted to be friends with my co workers and all that ended up happening in my 4 year career was me being betrayed, harassed, threatened, groped, and literally chased because I didn’t say goodbye to a dude that I worked with who was in a fucking car.

    Now I look back and think “oh you silly, naive thing, what were you thinking, trusting those deranged, bitter wolf people?” I had this middle aged woman who would stare at my hands and angerly say how dainty they were, she got mad at me because we had the same shoes. I had another co worker sit in my office and say someone else (that he slept with) we worked with was second best to me, he threatened to date her if I didn’t give him attention. I never thought anyone would be such a complete creep so blatantly.

    My boss begged me to acknowledge him and give him more attention, his girlfriend at the time got super jealous and blamed me for the fact that he was being weird and needy and checking me out all the time. His girlfriend also literally, firmly, and obviously grabbed my ass and pretended it was an accident. So many creepy comments about my physical appearance, so many creepy things said to me in general. I put up with so much, I only reported a fraction of the inappropriate behavior directed toward me and even then I was told that I attracted it.

    Maybe I have bad luck. Honestly though I’m never going to be anything more than polite and very distant with future co workers. They really are not my friends.

  102. saidtheCat Avatar

    The people who collaborate with me at work are coworkers. I keep healthy relationships because we work together. No need to be friends to be great coworkers together.

  103. InterestingChoice484 Avatar

    Reddit: I go to work to do my job, not to socialize. 

    Also Reddit: It’s not fair that managers hire their friends

  104. Beyondhelp069 Avatar

    Being friends at work and being a good coworker are two completely different things. Yes you want to be well liked and have a good reputation with coworkers for networking purposes and a pleasant work day. Yes you can joke around and have fun. No you absolutely do not tell them a single thing that could ever be used against you or ever trust them like that

  105. deucescarefully Avatar

    What if your coworkers are all lazy and incompetent? I have a hard time getting along with people phoning it in all day. If we have the same job and you’re half as productive and twice as miserable I don’t want to be your friend. Sorry.

  106. jprod97 Avatar

    It really is determined by your job. Shit is hella cutthroat. Mfs will sell your ass out for a promotion or to make themselves look better. Loyalty, especially in this day, crumbles no quicker for most than when money is involved

  107. VoodooDoII Avatar

    Everyone here conspiring against their coworkers and I’m here with my coworker that became my best friend 😭 wtf