If you’re thinking that “oh, that ruins the surprise of gift giving”, just ask for a list and only get a select few or singular thing off of the list so it’s still a surprise. Not only does asking someone what they want prevent them from receiving something the don’t like/don’t need/want, but it also removes the stress of getting someone a gift and hoping that they like it.
There’s been so many times where myself or someone I know has received a gift and they clearly didn’t like it or they thought “oh cool” at the time of opening it, but never used it and eventually just got rid of it or stored it away. Granted people probably don’t care if or how it’s used afterwards, but in all reality, they just wasted money on a gift that was completely pointless to the person receiving it. This especially applies if the gift is expensive or is something that is meant for everyday or common use.
Also, it puts more thought into the gift because you’re actually letting them know that you want to get them something that they actually want or need.
While on the topic, asking for cash as a gift/giving cash as a gift is perfectly acceptable. It should not be rude to ask someone to give you cash/a gift card as a gift because it’s what you want AND they’re just going to spend their money on you anyway. Some people may not like it, but when you give them cash it allows them to do what they want with the money.
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What I do, is I normally give 2-3 gifts for my friends and family. 1 main gift, the thing they told me they wanted, then 1-2 small gifts, a nice candle in their favourite scent, a gift card to their favorite store, or maybe a gift about one of our inside jokes etc…
So they get both a surprise and the thing they want.
But if i’m in a financial situation where I can’t afford 2-3 gifts per person, then I get them the gift they want and a hand written heartfelt card.
tell that to my parents. i have told them not to get me anything, but if they do to get me deodorant, socks, or toothpaste. sustainable materials that i need. what do i get? random gag gifts that will be forgotten after a week and provide no necessity to my existence making me feel like a dick for not being grateful. i would 100% rather not get anything at all than a gift i cannot use nor benefit from. i will always show my gratuity, i just feel so wasteful letting their gag gifts collect dust :/
I don’t usually give gifts at the specific time (birthday Christmas etc) but usually just if I come across something that makes me think of someone I get it and give it to them. If someone wants something usually they can just get it for themselves. If not, it might be pretty costly for me to get it (otherwise they could just get it themselves). I find the “I got this for you because it made me think of you” a more personal thing.
in some cases yes, but in many others, deffinetly no. 100% surprise gifts that end up a hit are the best thing one can get and also, one can gift to someone.
Usually that needs great understanding of given person, so I wouldn’t recommend it with strangers, but for example you know very well your partners tastes or your child etc. In those cases it’s something magical to show someone else, that you think about them and about what they like, so even those gifts I received from my wife that weren’t 100% match ended up with tear in my eye and deep feeling of love. She just tried her best to surprise me, she listened to me and she chose something with the whole purpose of giving me a joy.
Gift recipients are on a tier level
Lowest tier- not asking, getting a gift card
Middle tier – not asking- getting something I’ve heard you say you want
Top tier – a gift from the gift list I shed tears over to have made because I genuinely want them to have something they really want & then a personal gift I want to give them.
When in doubt…cash baby!!!
I really don’t enjoy getting or receiving gifts unless it’s edible
I’m a minimalist at heart and very picky.
It doesn’t happen all that often, but if a friend/family mentions something in conversation or I see there’s something they’d find useful but wouldn’t bother buying themselves then I’ll write it in a note in my phone.
Even if it’s months away from a birthday or Christmas, it’s great when the time rolls around.
In today’s economy I agree 100%
If I’m getting a gift for someone, I know them pretty well, so those gifts aren’t getting wasted. If I find something I know they’ll love, I’ll get it, otherwise, I know fallback gifts, like their favourite alcohol, their favourite foods, flowers, or anything I know 100% they will use.
The problem of wastage lies when people buy gifts they like and seem to forget others have different tastes.
I once bought a gift for a friend who miscarried (not the first, and had been going through IVF). I researched and searched all day before landing on what I thought was perfect due to the meaning and where she travelled on her honeymoon. When I gave it to her, she cried, showed me how it fit in so well with things in her house, then rubbed it on her belly.
About a month later, she was naturally pregnant and carried that child to full term. I went to the baby shower, and a few pregnant women from her IVF support group came to me saying they rubbed the gift on their belly and are now pregnant with their first child, too. It was like this gift was magical – my friend still lends it to people trying.
I’m not stopping giving gifts, as I love the joy when I get it spot on and unique. If I don’t find something unique and get something they’d spend money on anyway, it’s a way of showing I know them, which I think is still nice.
Our family’s standard formula is a gift card to someplace we know the recipient would shop, plus a food we know the recipient can eat–such as homemade marmalade, home baked banana bread, or home baked chocolate chip cookies.
That combination seems to work.
This is my mom, I asked for an ice cream cake one time as a joke and she got me a peanut butter cake, I never in my life ordered a peanut butter flavored ice cream anything ever. I asked her after thanking her why she go me this cake. “Oh your sisters said you love peanut butter candy.”. I appreciate the gesture and had a slice but gave the rest to my sisters.
Come iny birthday this year, I asked for nothing. Not even a lunch or dinner meal since I planned on working and grabbing food later. She gets me a star wars lunch box with candy and stuff I’ve never had in my entire life, like I sigh and thanked her but seriously am so done with gifts from my mom. Am at the point am never asking for nothing because she’ll just go whatever she or my sisters want and not what I want and it’s frustrating that I always ask her and my dad what they want and 100% it’s what they asked for.
Even my late best friend sucked at gifts for me, when I always got what she wanted. Sigh I guess am just done with gifts all together. Tired of being frustrated and feeling not heard