Assemble the smartest and most effective experts in their respective fields. Delegate basically all my authority to them with the exception of a defacto veto.
Shake hands, kiss babies, be beloved by the people, and basically have no responsibility.
I appoint a cabinet of people who actually care about the world after numerous personal interviews and I put them in charge before anyone knows what I look like. Then I leave and travel the world and occasionally come back to check on things. I will remain a mystery. I create an animal sanctuary somewhere. End crazy AI advancements and bring back 2017 vibes. No one goes hungry. School 4 days a week. Fridays are off.
First 24 hours as Supreme Ruler? Easy:
1.Universal nap mandate – 1-hour nap daily, worldwide. Productivity and vibes go up.
2.Fix the food chain – No one goes hungry, and junk food becomes slightly healthier without losing taste (yes, I have that power now).
3.Ban loud phone calls in public – We’re civilized.
4.Make mental health care free – Globally. Non-negotiable.
5.Rename Monday – It’s now “Soft Start.” No meetings before noon. Ever.
Spend my first day making the most absurd requests and demands I can dream up. “Hey, go find a unicorn and bring it back here.” “Hey, I’m going to poop: You wipe my butt while standing on your head and singing ‘Easy Street’ in Latin” “Hey…”
First, and immediately, feed the hungry and help the sick worldwide.
Remove Trump, his cabinet, Musk, Vance and others who have stripped democracy from the U.S.
Remove Putin from power and charge him with war crimes.
Make Ukraine whole again.
Stop the killing in Palestine, let its people rebuild and live there, return the Israeli hostages and remove and arrest Netanyahou for war crimes.
Enact strict gun laws.
Purge the U.S. Supreme Court of its two most corrupt judges-Thomas and Alito.
Restore the rights of women and the LGBTQIA community.
Get religion out of public schools.
Reverse the harm done by DEI and restore actual history to our classrooms, museums, books and other sites of American history.
Expect everyone to prostrate themselves to my effigy which is installed in every home as I indulge in my morning coffee. A coffee which has been brought to me by three beautiful curvy women, one red head, one brunette and one blonde.
flat tax of 1% on all gains (so income and capital gains combined). However for any gains that result in a total net worth of over $500 million is taxed at 100%. Net worth will include money that someone has immediate access to so no hiding net worth behind trusts. Also taking a loan against unrealized stock values will count as income and will be taxed. Tax revenue is used to implement a universal basic income and to implement solutions to homelessness and food shortages.
End fascism, end dictatorships, and make everyone live free and in peace.
And then do my daily torment to Donald Trump. It would be more of an inconvenience kind of torment. Like, he wants his diet coke, but gets regular coke. Or wants McDonald’s, but gets burger king. If he wants to go to The Superbowl, he’ll go to the Puppy bowl.
I got a list of other people, but Donald is on the top.
Set up a true representative government that has secure digital elections every year for each previous country, now called autonomous regions. The individual citizens of a region vote on anything that changes governance or has to do with governance compensation, pay, or corruption during the yearly election cycle.
Ban all representative roles from having more than 4 years of representation. Either concurrent or separate.
My only job would be selecting the judges required for the highest global court 2 new judges per year of 15 positions noninated and voted on by individual citizen.
Other roles would be visiting each region every 2 years and speaking to the people, not the representatives. And appointing commanders of 6 branches of military,largest being United Earth Space Denece Force.
Line up the alt right, load them into a shitty rocket made by the team that brought you the next generation Boeing airliners and launch them towards the sun.
If I had unconditional support/henchment, I would eliminate world hunger, make healthcare free and ensure very family had at least a 1 bedroom house with bills paid for life. I would then ask these people to contribute to society so everyone can keep enjoying these things.
Force all of humanity to accept universal healthcare. Demand food to be given to everyone for free. Insist upon universal education. Heartlessly add excessive work hours to construction workers to build infrastructure in poor areas making them slave away for 6 hours a day for four whole days a week while they take breaks as they need them. Flood drought ridden areas with free water. Tyrannically impose public ownership of goods and services. Maliciously determine that all people must love one another no matter their background. Finally I will indulgently expand my personal library.
I’d need more information on exactly what I can do, what I’m expected to do, how does anything I want to do get enforced, and what funds do I have available to carry any of it out.
I feel like global problems would be the first thing to start with so I’d be aiming at problems like climate change and endangered species since those seem like the kinds of problems we can least bounce back from. Pretty hard to un-extinct something. Initial ideas like bounties on invasive species would be easy to implement, require little new oversight or agencies as people could just turn stuff in with park rangers and equivalents around the world.
Order all of the armies of the world to whip the oceans to prevent climate change. Just posted the most unhinged shit I ever heard a world leader doing and just ran with that. Persian king xerxes
I think I’m going to free a bunch of innocent prisoners from an El Salvadorian jail and send every single asshat who had any part in sending them there into the deepest dungeon that place has to offer.
Instead of settling beefs with war I would settle beefs with racing, street outlaw style 1 pass and done but the country’s leaders have to be behind the wheel and it’s an unprepped drag strip RWD only
Put tRump in front of a firing squad. No more due process…we’ve seen where that has gotten us. Then I start going down the line with every traitor to the constitution and…well, let’s just disappear them to El Salvador??
First and foremost, the “UN” that I guess I rule, is now the Earth Planetarium. Yes we are commandeering that word for this purpose.
Which is the capital of the Sol Solar system.
And unless we meet someone cooler, we get to be for now the Capital of the Milky Way Galaxium. (I’m taking that too.
Thus I will become the Planetor of the Planetarium of Earth, the Solaris of the Sol System, and Galactus of the Galaxy. The latter of which may need to be conceded some day to more relevant aliens, but that’s fine. Also if we develop more planets in the solar system, I would surrender the title of Solaris or Planetor objectively, dual functional titling is trash.
So to summarize, instituting royal titles of:
Planetor of a Planetarium
Solaris of the Solarium
Galactus of the Galaxy
I’m not claiming the Universe though, I’m tacitly claiming the Galaxy, but the Universe is way too much.
I’m also signing a law that requires regional architecture, for normal procedures. I want to see regional flair….It makes me happy.
I will transfer the position to the present Indian prime minister, i am forgetting his name. Looks like he is very popular and keeping his country happy. My Dubai and USA partners always praise him.
Comments
Name everything aladeen
I’ll go with the simplest answer: Ending all wars.
Resign. I don’t need that kind of stress.
Push the red button
Get kicked out of the first petting zoo I go to
Assemble the smartest and most effective experts in their respective fields. Delegate basically all my authority to them with the exception of a defacto veto.
Shake hands, kiss babies, be beloved by the people, and basically have no responsibility.
Laugh maniacally
Bring back prima nocta.
Y’all know what I am doing 🇩🇪
Remove Trump.
I appoint a cabinet of people who actually care about the world after numerous personal interviews and I put them in charge before anyone knows what I look like. Then I leave and travel the world and occasionally come back to check on things. I will remain a mystery. I create an animal sanctuary somewhere. End crazy AI advancements and bring back 2017 vibes. No one goes hungry. School 4 days a week. Fridays are off.
get something to eat
Let the nukes fly. Time to prune away the old and let the strong/smartest survive and begin anew.
A lot of segregation
Disingrate israel and free palestine
First 24 hours as Supreme Ruler? Easy:
1.Universal nap mandate – 1-hour nap daily, worldwide. Productivity and vibes go up.
2.Fix the food chain – No one goes hungry, and junk food becomes slightly healthier without losing taste (yes, I have that power now).
3.Ban loud phone calls in public – We’re civilized.
4.Make mental health care free – Globally. Non-negotiable.
5.Rename Monday – It’s now “Soft Start.” No meetings before noon. Ever.
Do the thing
Quit
Go back to sleep. Cause I can!
Feel good because it means Putin is gone and next I’ll get rid of his sidekick Trump. 👍🏻
Spend my first day making the most absurd requests and demands I can dream up. “Hey, go find a unicorn and bring it back here.” “Hey, I’m going to poop: You wipe my butt while standing on your head and singing ‘Easy Street’ in Latin” “Hey…”
Abdicate.
Roll over and go back to bed for another hour, and have someone bring me my cat who is probably now in the other room sleeping.
Resign on a modest pension.
Resign immediately and let someone more qualified than me to take that position.
Cause every racist, antisemite and Islamaphobe to have an immediate, fatal aneurysm.
Nap.
Go back to bed.
Go back to sleep. I abdicate
Make an empty duplicate just for me.
Clean house
Make political corruption illegal with a punishment worse than death.
I’ll remove cringed tiktokers
First, and immediately, feed the hungry and help the sick worldwide.
Remove Trump, his cabinet, Musk, Vance and others who have stripped democracy from the U.S.
Remove Putin from power and charge him with war crimes.
Make Ukraine whole again.
Stop the killing in Palestine, let its people rebuild and live there, return the Israeli hostages and remove and arrest Netanyahou for war crimes.
Enact strict gun laws.
Purge the U.S. Supreme Court of its two most corrupt judges-Thomas and Alito.
Restore the rights of women and the LGBTQIA community.
Get religion out of public schools.
Reverse the harm done by DEI and restore actual history to our classrooms, museums, books and other sites of American history.
That’s for starters.
Call him a cunt
Go back to sleep.
I read that wrong 😄
Expect everyone to prostrate themselves to my effigy which is installed in every home as I indulge in my morning coffee. A coffee which has been brought to me by three beautiful curvy women, one red head, one brunette and one blonde.
Kate Upton
I’ll be searching for a handful of people that I always wanted to torment.
Resign! Governing/ruling humans is like herding cats.
First order of business, assemble a council and predecessor.
Then, I’d work on making sure everyone has access to clean water and food.
After that, build up some 3rd world countries, attempt to make education cheaper for everyone, and let things go from there.
Rule
flat tax of 1% on all gains (so income and capital gains combined). However for any gains that result in a total net worth of over $500 million is taxed at 100%. Net worth will include money that someone has immediate access to so no hiding net worth behind trusts. Also taking a loan against unrealized stock values will count as income and will be taxed. Tax revenue is used to implement a universal basic income and to implement solutions to homelessness and food shortages.
There would be a lot of regime changes.
Hunt the world for the best people in regards to economy, politics, healthcare, education, and technology.
That’s the first thing I will do.
I’m going to Disneyland. All of them. Then I’ll think about doing something productive.
Make life really hard for MAGA.
Immediately passing a law requiring each state to add an extra lane to their highways that only I can use.
End fascism, end dictatorships, and make everyone live free and in peace.
And then do my daily torment to Donald Trump. It would be more of an inconvenience kind of torment. Like, he wants his diet coke, but gets regular coke. Or wants McDonald’s, but gets burger king. If he wants to go to The Superbowl, he’ll go to the Puppy bowl.
I got a list of other people, but Donald is on the top.
Buy Fox News and make them push a lot of woke propaganda.
Lawsuit against Sumpreme….
Set up a true representative government that has secure digital elections every year for each previous country, now called autonomous regions. The individual citizens of a region vote on anything that changes governance or has to do with governance compensation, pay, or corruption during the yearly election cycle.
Ban all representative roles from having more than 4 years of representation. Either concurrent or separate.
My only job would be selecting the judges required for the highest global court 2 new judges per year of 15 positions noninated and voted on by individual citizen.
Other roles would be visiting each region every 2 years and speaking to the people, not the representatives. And appointing commanders of 6 branches of military,largest being United Earth Space Denece Force.
Like I’m going to reveal my plans?
Assemble some start of a team.
Then go slowly and disassemble.
Omg.
This is my time to shine, guys. CAKE AND GARLIC BREAD FOR EVERYONE
Get all the scientists to figure out time travel. Barring that, free healthcare for all.
Whatever the fuck I want
Throw away all the medications, booze and drugs, and go back to sleep as I am probably hallucinating.
:))))
I would make Earth flat so bpeople can make conspiracy theories about a round earth.
Immediately create a Co-Op Direct Democracy and “retire” 99% of that dictatorship type of power.
End homelessness and hunger!!
Eliminate my competition
Liberate North Korea.
Prepare the guillotine.
I’ve accomplished Brains goal!
I’d send Trump to a prison in El Salvador. And tell them to throw away the key.
Since I am thankful you nominated me, your death shall be quick and painless
try to get the straitjachket undone as I’m clearly a lunatic
Everyone gets a free pony
Fight climate change. Reverse all the Executive Orders done by Trump and Musk.
Going back to bed ngl
Measure everything
hire people to do my job and go take a nap
Stop all tariffs
Line up the alt right, load them into a shitty rocket made by the team that brought you the next generation Boeing airliners and launch them towards the sun.
Socialism.
grant access to free healthcare and education, no one should struggle with that.
If I had unconditional support/henchment, I would eliminate world hunger, make healthcare free and ensure very family had at least a 1 bedroom house with bills paid for life. I would then ask these people to contribute to society so everyone can keep enjoying these things.
Go back to sleep
Not just hit his ear this time.
Ban micro transactions and season passes in video games. Then send the people that made them mainstream to the gulag
Put on my he man costume ( a girl but she Ra sucks ) and say I HAVE THE POWERRRRRRR
that is all
Free Sushie Sunday for everyone!
I guess I would torment a chocolate-maker.
Rule supreme
“Donald, you are under arrest.” Then a plane ride to GITMO for that fat treasonous wannabe Hitler.
Take a nap first.
Two chicks at the same time, man.
Have my head spin in circles figure out what to do first and then end up never doing anything
TARIFS!!
Build a wall and impose tariff on Mars.
i will stop the AI
Send the nazis to El Salvador prison camps.
Force all of humanity to accept universal healthcare. Demand food to be given to everyone for free. Insist upon universal education. Heartlessly add excessive work hours to construction workers to build infrastructure in poor areas making them slave away for 6 hours a day for four whole days a week while they take breaks as they need them. Flood drought ridden areas with free water. Tyrannically impose public ownership of goods and services. Maliciously determine that all people must love one another no matter their background. Finally I will indulgently expand my personal library.
I’ll quit. Bugger off and do it yourselves, you lazy bastards. 😜
I’d need more information on exactly what I can do, what I’m expected to do, how does anything I want to do get enforced, and what funds do I have available to carry any of it out.
I feel like global problems would be the first thing to start with so I’d be aiming at problems like climate change and endangered species since those seem like the kinds of problems we can least bounce back from. Pretty hard to un-extinct something. Initial ideas like bounties on invasive species would be easy to implement, require little new oversight or agencies as people could just turn stuff in with park rangers and equivalents around the world.
I would ask for my ex and to be left alone
Abolish supreme Earth rulership
Order all of the armies of the world to whip the oceans to prevent climate change. Just posted the most unhinged shit I ever heard a world leader doing and just ran with that. Persian king xerxes
Tariff other planets
I go back to sleep because I am not prepared for that shit show.
Criminalize Nazism and White supremacy..they ruin everything everywhere they go. It’s nothing to joke about or play with (Elon aka DorkZilla).
To be as vague as possible: Get rid of some stuff we don’t need.
Knock everybody’s heads together and tell to them to knock this shit off.
Take away every gun, armament and any weapon, from everyone, civilian and armies alike
Food. Water. Shelter. Clothing.
Everyone gets either knocked down a peg or bumped up a step. The rich become poor. The poor become human.
Ban ALL commercials on TV.
Kill all mosquitoes
Immediately find a better person to do the job.
probably 3 chicks at the same time on a super yacht in dubai. also ban tik tok
Issue an executive order to bring back high pressure shower heads… damn it.
Probably procrastinate for a while and enjoy not paying bills lol
Come to an actual solution for Palestine/Israel
Send Trump on death row, see it through with no appeals and then retire.
Thanos a lot of people.
I think I’m going to free a bunch of innocent prisoners from an El Salvadorian jail and send every single asshat who had any part in sending them there into the deepest dungeon that place has to offer.
Put Trump in a plypen…
Go get an ice cream
Make weed legal worldwide. Also, execute all pedo’s and rapists.
Take a piss first
Outlaw fiat money for good and put the world back on the gold standard or even better in a Bitcoin standard.
Then leave. With that action 90% of the problems on the planet would be solved in a generation.
Take a pee?
When I am King, you will be first against the wall.
Instead of settling beefs with war I would settle beefs with racing, street outlaw style 1 pass and done but the country’s leaders have to be behind the wheel and it’s an unprepped drag strip RWD only
The first thing I’d do is have Donald Trumps and Vladimir Putins lips sewen to each others assholes.
Probably get assassinated by vedy rich and powerful people that won’t like my policies
Ban cyclists on fast roads (40mph and above)
Ban war.
Go back to bed. Tell everyone to figure it out on their own until I wake up.
Get me a new house, a healthier body, and a harem.
Fire every leader
No way…… There’s one supreme ruler of this Earth
Ngl, probably sit on Reddit and read comments most of my morning.
ban the speaking of the french language stop all wars execute everyone over 70 cancel all debt
Get that husband and father back from El Salvador.
Then get everyone clean water, shelter, and food.
We’ll work from there.
Give myself
A billion dollars
Two EV’s I have been drooling over
A penthouse apartment in the city of my choice
100 pound weight loss
A Titanic Lego set
No way for my replacement to undo all of this.
Then resign
Tacos tuesdays for everyone weekly
You also just finish watching that episode of Black Mirror?
I’d fire Trump and Putin first.
Start implementing the promotion of World Peace. Align with others of like minds.
Start up an Army of Peace or something like that to help communities and countries with their problems.
Wow! There is so much to consider.
Hopefully, a lot of people will jump on board and want to help.
Brush my teeth. I’m supreme ruler, not some disheveled maniac.
Lock up all the haters in the gulag
Summon forth the asteroids
We had a good run
First thing is to Remove america and Israel from the word map.
Put tRump in front of a firing squad. No more due process…we’ve seen where that has gotten us. Then I start going down the line with every traitor to the constitution and…well, let’s just disappear them to El Salvador??
Tell everybody to build more railways in the United States and to slowly phase out the institutions of capitalism.
Make it illegal to back into parking spaces
Have you tongue punch my fart box for asking a stupid question that has been asked since the dawn of your mom’s giant labia
Renaming some things.
First and foremost, the “UN” that I guess I rule, is now the Earth Planetarium. Yes we are commandeering that word for this purpose.
Which is the capital of the Sol Solar system.
And unless we meet someone cooler, we get to be for now the Capital of the Milky Way Galaxium. (I’m taking that too.
Thus I will become the Planetor of the Planetarium of Earth, the Solaris of the Sol System, and Galactus of the Galaxy. The latter of which may need to be conceded some day to more relevant aliens, but that’s fine. Also if we develop more planets in the solar system, I would surrender the title of Solaris or Planetor objectively, dual functional titling is trash.
So to summarize, instituting royal titles of:
Planetor of a Planetarium
Solaris of the Solarium
Galactus of the Galaxy
I’m not claiming the Universe though, I’m tacitly claiming the Galaxy, but the Universe is way too much.
I’m also signing a law that requires regional architecture, for normal procedures. I want to see regional flair….It makes me happy.
Fascists, dictators, rapists and others I decided upon would be put to hard labor. Cleaning hazardous waste sites, clearing mines, etc.
I will transfer the position to the present Indian prime minister, i am forgetting his name. Looks like he is very popular and keeping his country happy. My Dubai and USA partners always praise him.
Jail/exile all non-democratic country leaders, yes, includes trump and dismantle their administrations.
Choose a single adult, age 20-40, give them a large portion of sexual pleasure, tie them in an unbreakable chain. Then see what happens to them.
Drop the nukes