I recommend familiarizing yourself with the mechanisms of any antique kitchen appliances you acquire before operating them, to ensure your safety and prevent potentially fatal accidents.
I’m out in the wilderness, I come across another guy who’s just as lost as me. I think we could help each other out, maybe even be friends. Upon finding out I am also a Canadian he decides that there can only be one. He stabs me and I am left there to bleed out in the snow.
Hopefully I just get smushed by the cane corso/great dane mix I see around. He identifies as a lap dog so you’ve gotta be careful. Otherwise, they are good dogs and I don’t blame them
Comments
My depression
I must’ve done something bad…
Worth it?
Banana peel.
Myself
I’d love to see him try
I can’t empathize how cringe Dad jokes are
NOT A PEASANT?!
A jeep… and multiple have tried…
Yikes time to burn this one. Thanks op
Am I in the novel or did Orwell come back for me?
A sharp glass mountain made from lava and water.
A meteor
Intresting
Kinda terrifying to think a canary would want to kill me, a very merry one at that. I guess it’s death by enthused pecking for me folks 😞
A camera company’s online presence
A robot named bingo
Uh…I don’t wanna talk about it 😐
It looked okay in the carton but the black fuzz shoulda been a sign.
Well this is fun
Adulting 🤣🤣🤣
Farts
Zombies or PTSD, IDK.
An unreliable drug dealer…..but I don’t do drugs.
Ah, just me being myself.
Seven hells. Apachai from Kenichi The Mightiest Disciple 🫠
Myself
Some say…
🤷🏻♂️
Probably just one rabid asshole
Someone’s obviously chopped me into pieces.
Uh oh
it killed the cat
A therapist??
Trying to dive into a pile if gold coins like scrooge mcduck.
At least I have something in common with Thor.
A special wolf I guess
You tell me
Uhhhh …me? Instantly??
Fuck yea, elephant.
⚙️
Cancer
Mine accident.
A zombie dog that I loved 🙁
Et tu, Catulus?
19th century Midwest US mayor of a city for 3 weeks
I honestly don’t know what would happen…
Oh, great, violence
Sounds about right
Jaywalking
Falling radishes, obviously.
A Wendy’s Restaurant On Sullivan Road.
Wen – Sul
wensul.
at least that’s the ORIGIN of the username. Just a portmanteau.
Anaconda
It would be funny
Let me at least run for office first.
A rapping cat.
Oh god….
Oh no.
… Well…
My…daughter?
Oh, dear! 😳
Well not just any cable gonna kill me😂
Idk I haven’t figured it out yet
It must have been pink mold.
Wrong GPS directions
4,763 Geese
Probably accurate
Danger noodle in ma boot
Well that doesn’t make sense 🙁 I would hope I would be suffocated by cuddles from the kind sheep
Well…. Hmmmm….
gets forged, heroically
It was an accident I’m sure
See…. this is why you don’t pick up strange things with your bare hands.
Good lord
Well, damn! He could be anywhere!
I was killed by a feverishly enthusiastic and accomplished garment producer. Dreadful sowing machine accident I reckon.
Reddit comments.
It could be any one of us
I didn’t stop at 2.
I recommend familiarizing yourself with the mechanisms of any antique kitchen appliances you acquire before operating them, to ensure your safety and prevent potentially fatal accidents.
My food came out cold and…well…I wasn’t gonna stand for it
Being violated by an 8 foot tall space cryptid
Damn. Is it me the half depressed golfer or another half depressed golfer
Too much karma.
Rainbows?
Electrocution. Apparently.
Or adult activities. 🤔
Or alien encounter. 🤔🤔🤔
Very confusing.
Eh…..don’t really care…
An unlikely shoe. I’m fucked
It doesn’t end well
I guess I’m not surprised
Think I’d be fine with this.
Well, guess I’ll have a… Cheap End
Puts on shades badassly
Well, that’ll be a shitty way to go.
.…bonked on the head do your think?
hmm i wonder where the pizza’s from
Oh no… MORE HEDGEHOGS 🦔🦔🦔
9,830, to be exact…
Ahhhhhhhhh!
Terminal scrolling. My body will be found buried under 800 open tabs of Reddit drama, debates, cat videos, and reposts. I have no regrets.
Well it was fun while it lasted folks….
Darn those unexpected ducks
A good time, apparently.
Its kinda obvious
fatalism
Mine makes perfect sense actually 🤷♀️
Someone got too close. Dumbasses.
Hopefully my fiancée
Flight Into Newark
Meow
oh dear
A whole squad of infantry
Maybe I’ll be dying from skin cancer.
Eh, makes sense.
I hate being sick to my stomach too.
An asteroid hitting during a Bar Mitzvah.
Tsunami??
Reddit chose my username idk how to change it 🤷♀️
Makes sense
D’oh
chris kyle
Pretty obvious
Pretty much anything or anyone except for a very minute group of people.
Oh christ
Death by snu snu
Yes, if it fell on my head it may kill me.
Maybe I suffocate in it who knows
My anonymity
Probably a weiner dog
insert Lego death sound
Knowledge
Probably not my phone… more likely consciousness
If OkWanKenobi kills me, then I’ve lived a good life as a sith
My…. My own potential??? But I thought it was perfect??
Everything’s a lie. Crashing out.
Something heavy
special department ☠️
Oh shit
A glorious death! 💦
The food I love most
Either an ambush predator, a sniper, or a creepy stalker.
Could be …. different …..
I got murdered by a bunch of flowers. I did not conquer.
Do I need to say more?
Oh dear God, no….
I’m out in the wilderness, I come across another guy who’s just as lost as me. I think we could help each other out, maybe even be friends. Upon finding out I am also a Canadian he decides that there can only be one. He stabs me and I am left there to bleed out in the snow.
I will have to avoid the Milliways Restaurant from now on.
Biscuit (my dog) eats a mango and I am concerned that there’s seeds in there causing me to have a heart attack and die…
Take a look for yourself
It’s gonna make the news that’s for sure.
Whatever it is, I probably won’t see it coming.
Not sure how to interpret this…
Someone left the gas on
I’m ready for another biblical flood.
A size too small.. squeezed to death by shirt breaking news
Interesting
Better not make any sudden moves, I guess. Stay hidden.
Well. This is embarrassing.
I’ll take it.
Saul Goodman
Asian meal.
It flew off the back of a truck and bang, I was a gonner
Ok well hand washing it is
Well, fuck.
It’s good advice for a reason.
Nightmare version of me, I guess? 🤷🏻♀️😂
ICE discovers that I am a citizen of the People’s Republic of Spatula
Oh..
Either I’m burning or choking
My death would be pretty common lol
☹️
Huh
it really is a significant bus
I must’ve done something really bad
Hopefully I just get smushed by the cane corso/great dane mix I see around. He identifies as a lap dog so you’ve gotta be careful. Otherwise, they are good dogs and I don’t blame them
“If you’re reading this, it means I’m gone now. I fucking knew this day would come. I will not be taking any questions.”
Can chocolates kill?