Oh well, that’s fortunate for me, it’s my cricket bat and I don’t think this hypothetical mugger will appreciate 3 pounds of English Willow being forcefully swung at their head or knee…
On my right is my tool board and table, let’s see do I pick the electric saw, drill, hammer. I guess the actual closest is a large pair of Chanel locks.
I’ve got the back of my couch to the right, but to the left I have my pottery tools which can be pretty gnarly. I’ve essentially got a spike, a garrote, and a razor within arms reach.
A glass, but if I’m just getting mugged I don’t care. Somebody’s hurting bad enough that they need to take my stuff, I don’t need to hurt them further.
4-D-Cell Maglite. May as well be a mace! I have literally driven nails with that thing, and it still works great. That mugger will be lucky to only have a fractured arm.
My dog… 99% of the time he is a very loveing creature but twice I’ve been in pretty scary situations and both times he’s showed me he can be brave.
First time I was in a park with my daughter and an off leash dog ran up to her, knocked her off her scooter and then started snarling and snapping at her, my dog got between them and stood there, teeth bared, tail between his legs and trembling, he was definitely scared but he also did not want that dog any closer to his small human friend.
Second time a dude who I knew from years ago who’s got a record for beating people up when drunk turned up at my door, very very drunk, screaming at me through the door, I opened the door on the chain to ask him to leave and he tried to shove his hand through the gap in the door, my dog stuck his nose through the gap and started barking at the guy… He left and I gave the dog some sausages as a thankyou for keeping me safe when I was home alone.
Bro is going to have a bad day. I’m at work. There’s a H&K MR 762 A1 on the desk on my right and a Colt 1911 on my hip. My less than lethal options include both mace and a Taser 7 CQ. In a pinch my flashlight can double as a baton. My vest will stop most knives and basically any pistol.
I used to have to do a lot more but now I sit in my guards shack and do NOTHING all night.
Bible. It’s all I’ll need, not to defend myself but to pray for him, for his pain will be indescribable before death both physically and mentally as he will experience total despair. The absence of hope, complete darkness and the wrath of God.
Not an object but a person. A small Mexican dude. I’ll take it these are the hardest working motherfuckers on the planet. He’d probably work the mugger to death.
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I’ve got a fridge and I will use it to its full potential
Large realistic stuffed tiger
Beretta 92 INOX. Goodbye mugger.
A big sofa cushion.
The next closest object to my right is a deep freezer that is filled with 1/8th steer and 1/4 pig.
If the mugger is a dog, problem solved. 😂
I’m sitting next to a brick wall on the right, but there’s a lighter to my left. Guess I’ll just offer the mugger a light…
My purse. I’ve definitely got this. It’s really heavy.
Staple gun
Oh well, that’s fortunate for me, it’s my cricket bat and I don’t think this hypothetical mugger will appreciate 3 pounds of English Willow being forcefully swung at their head or knee…
A chair with wheels. Probably not the best weapon but if the mugger is unarmed then I’d probably have a fighting chance.
Immediately to my right hand as I was asking the questions was a notebook of Bisaya studies.
Long phone charger, cube attached. I have multiple combat options. Unless it breaks I think I’m good
Pretty sleepy girl.
Have just taken my hand off a wired mouse, I’m feeling okay about it, as long as the mugger doesn’t grab the cord.
Got a half empty 40oz. Break it and I have a crude but bloody glass shard weapon.
A wiener dog.
Watch out! I’ve got an empty soda can and I know how to use it!
A sleeping greyhound. I’m cooked.
I think I’m screwed with this pillow.
My fiancée. The mugger will beg for mercy.
My wife? She can go crazy. This will work out fine.
Kleenex and some lotion. Maybe I can convince him not to mug me?
I’ll flick my Bic
Is the mugger lactose intolerant? If so, beware my carton of Premier Protein Cookie Dough High Protein Shake!
a car. i have the keys to it so i can just get in and lock the door. ez
A Mikrotik Audience wireless router. Possibly, depends on how large the attacker is.
I am just giving the dude my wallet. I don’t carry that much on me anyway.
Shotgun.
I’m doing OK.
A wall, that’s it, just a blank wall. I guess I can put a wall between us.
My cocker spaniel
Well that muggers about to get a concussion from my lamp.
It doesn’t matter. I won’t need it to defend myself.
A sharp ass pocketknife, I’m good
My PS5 controller, hopefully they wanna game?
My mattress 😭
On my right is my tool board and table, let’s see do I pick the electric saw, drill, hammer. I guess the actual closest is a large pair of Chanel locks.
The mugger is about to have a bad day.
Toilet roll and a toilet brush. Someones going to get pinkeye
A lightning OTF knife. Could be worse.
My wife… Sadly my guns are to my left.
I’ve got the back of my couch to the right, but to the left I have my pottery tools which can be pretty gnarly. I’ve essentially got a spike, a garrote, and a razor within arms reach.
A closet door. Could be a good shield I guess??
A 40kg German shepherd, ex-police-dog breeding stock, who is going to be absolutely fucking useless because he’s a pansy.
A bed, looks like I’m fucking my way out of this one
A chopstick, high odds in my favor.
a blanket. LOL
Kimber 1911 with a 30 round drum mag.
A car door (I’m in driver’s seat)
Do I get to drive off or do I get the car door as a weapon?
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Bottle of lube. It’s about to get real weird lol
ceiling fan
My cat who is afraid of literally everyone except my partner and I.
My fiancée
Lamp.
My contigo coffee mug. It’s the big 20 oz one at least.
My staffie, woof!
My 9 pound Chihuahua 😑
Glock 19MOS with a Trijicon RMR and Surefire TLR1HL…
Not his best day.
Black attack cat. She’s a stray that adopted me and stays by my side. She chases dogs.
Mugger is going to have some serious scratches. And a few bites.
My ice tea jar that is thick and heavy womp
Folding razor knife
Guitar
A whiteboard marker.
A wall.
Hey, if I can get some leverage it might work.
Box of surgical masks.
Pillow. Might work as a shield?
A bottle of Belvedere vodka…can either hurt the mugger or persuade them to have a drink instead
A large, core wood cutting board
A broken fan lol
A cat sorely in need of a pedipedi.
Blanket.
a cat plushie
My old highschool shotput so about 12 pounds of metal ball I should be good to go.
My 1.5 year old, little dude can kinda swing though. I might have a shot.
Back scratcher
A laundry basket w/3 days’ worth of clothes. I’d definitely have the element of surprise if nothing else…
Either a toilet or glass scales take your pick
Go go gadget puffco peak!
50 pound labrador which is the biggest doofus i know…
We either be broke or be dead
Airpods 😭
A claw hammer. I’m good.
A hot dog with chili and slaw.
But it’s a big hot dog.
American bulldog
A glass, but if I’m just getting mugged I don’t care. Somebody’s hurting bad enough that they need to take my stuff, I don’t need to hurt them further.
4-D-Cell Maglite. May as well be a mace! I have literally driven nails with that thing, and it still works great. That mugger will be lucky to only have a fractured arm.
A bathroom sink.
Is it already loose from the wall? I might be good if so.
Always the f*cking stapler man.
My cat. Yes I’ll avoid getting mugged.
A squishmallow 😔
A stainless steel water bottle. It’s full, so maybe a stand a chance, if they don’t just go away after they get my $5.
A can of Coke. An effective weapon in the right hands.
A black German shepherd who looks scary but is a big baby. His bark is pretty badass though.
A bowl of watermelon- might be useful if the mugger is hangry.
Crap. My husband. If he distracts I can then hit the mugger myself and tie him up with my shoe laces on my left.
A chihuahua
A pen, mightier than a sword. Straight to the eye.
Floor. Unless distance doesn’t matter, then a backpack
Tangerine
My hand. Good thing I know martial arts.
I’m literally in my car so the object to my right is my car. So easy
my dog
Technically the ceiling since I am laying down… So, can I like drop it on them?
What’s the mugger armed with?
20kg Dumbbell
Banana Skin and a half drank glass of OJ.
im screwed.
My daughter lol
dam evryone has kool stuff i have bed sheet next closest object is a lamp….. 🤣🤣🤣
Alexa, mess this MF up.
A dirty sock.
I guess I’m going for the Mandible Claw!
Giant black dildo
Toilet paper. Ok take my wallet…
Gel OC.
A bottle of flash cleaning spray and a roll of loo roll
Let battle commence
8 year old boy
Damnit… I’d lose then.. only have a small desk lamp to my right… my pistol is on my left in arms reach 🤣
A cricket bat. I’ll be ok…
A metal spoon. Time to scoop some eyes.
A three ring binder.
I’m screwed.
A pretty sturdy pillow, should work.
Remington 870… we’re in luck boys, stand behind me.
Homemade potato cakes. I’m keeping those. Mugger is welcome to my government float.
My headset… guess i could put it on and pretend to be talking to the police or something
Chair
One last bit of the blueberry mint vape before I die
My custodial cart is right there. I got a broom, mop handle… I’m going with the used toilet brush.
My TV. Offer the mugger the TV to not attack me.
My dog… 99% of the time he is a very loveing creature but twice I’ve been in pretty scary situations and both times he’s showed me he can be brave.
First time I was in a park with my daughter and an off leash dog ran up to her, knocked her off her scooter and then started snarling and snapping at her, my dog got between them and stood there, teeth bared, tail between his legs and trembling, he was definitely scared but he also did not want that dog any closer to his small human friend.
Second time a dude who I knew from years ago who’s got a record for beating people up when drunk turned up at my door, very very drunk, screaming at me through the door, I opened the door on the chain to ask him to leave and he tried to shove his hand through the gap in the door, my dog stuck his nose through the gap and started barking at the guy… He left and I gave the dog some sausages as a thankyou for keeping me safe when I was home alone.
sock
My Xbox controller
Bro is going to have a bad day. I’m at work. There’s a H&K MR 762 A1 on the desk on my right and a Colt 1911 on my hip. My less than lethal options include both mace and a Taser 7 CQ. In a pinch my flashlight can double as a baton. My vest will stop most knives and basically any pistol.
I used to have to do a lot more but now I sit in my guards shack and do NOTHING all night.
A 75 pound pitbull. I ain’t getting mugged.
A big fat down pillow. I will pillow fight him to death. 😁
Somehow I don’t think a 2 lb elderly, blind, toothless, incontinent Chihuahua without use of his back legs is going to be much help here. 🤦🏼♀️
Police officer
A cup of tea. So, I guess, someone else is about to get mugged.
My coffee mug.
I guess if I get a lucky throw in I’ll be OK but I don’t like my chances.
My dog
Mug of coffee – at least it’s still hot.
It’s a heavy ass pillow filled with buckwheat husks. Goona hurt like a mf when I beat his ass with it.
Pillow fight goona send this man to the hospital and he’s gonna forget who he is with the concussion I’m about to give him.
Let there be light
(It’s a lamp)
This phone since there’s just floor in front of me. Damn I’m dead
Bible. It’s all I’ll need, not to defend myself but to pray for him, for his pain will be indescribable before death both physically and mentally as he will experience total despair. The absence of hope, complete darkness and the wrath of God.
My cat. I’m
My nightstand gun? Yeah, I’m good to go.
A pillow? I feel like I’d be better off barehanded….
An old Japanese woman.
An old Japanese woman.
Insulin pen, I’m fucked.
An 8 year old human shield
My keyboard, full hefty block of 3kg aluminum.
A sword
A Winchester pocket knife get in!
A rotten wooden sink with brinks under it. Cool.
Three hyper social dogs. They will overwhelm the mugger making it easy for me to get a big knife from the kitchen.
Oddly enough, a rice cooker.
Not an object but a person. A small Mexican dude. I’ll take it these are the hardest working motherfuckers on the planet. He’d probably work the mugger to death.
A bottle of cough medicine. That fucker is gonna suffer though with whatever this hacking cough is
Either a knifeor a screwdriver if we count whats on my person.
If not a sink
A yeti cup, but I suppose I could try and use the guy next to me’s laptop like it’s a WWE chair and smash him in the head, but I’m probably cooked
Chair, lamp, plant, table leg, Jim’s leg.
A hairdryer. Approach with caution
It’s an erasable wall calendar but it’s also a heavy sheet of glass. Not the worst.
A pot of broccoli
I have a speaker on a decently heavy speaker stand. Not bad as a bludgeoning weapon, I probably stand a chance if the mugger doesn’t have a gun.
An extension lead with a 3 pin plug… You could fairly well brain someone with it.
Toilet paper… That mugger is gonna get mummified!
A folding steel chair. I knew all that time watching WWF as a kid would pay off
chapstick 😔 nice knowing you all
I’m sitting in my truck at the moment and most of the truck is to my right so I guess I’m throwing it into 4×4 and going to town on the mugger!
a tv remote? gotta channel my grandma’s spirit and whoop ass with it🙂↕️
My 5 year old daughter.. I guess I could swing her pretty hard.