I’m so sick of the posts on here of women complaining their life isn’t complete because they don’t have a partner or kids. So many women are certain that what they are missing from life is a man.
Have bad news for you ladies that keep delaying happyness while waiting for a man: it won’t come once he does!
How do I know? I was you 4 years ago! I was 31, single. I had a successful career an objectively good life, but I wasn’t happy. I thought once I finally had a partner, I could be happy doing all the things I wanted to do and living the type of life I wanted to live.
Now, I’m 35 with an amazing boyfriend and guess what? I’m still lost! He didn’t solve all my problems; I still have to put in the hard work, self reflection, and time to make myself happy. It may even be a harder task now than when I was single because I have a partners happyness to consider and balance.
So stop waiting for a man. Find companionship and happyness for and by yourself.
You’ll probably have a better chance of finding one once your self fulfilled.
Comments
Nobody can “make” you happy. Only you can do that.
Feeling complete or connected to others does not require having a partner or kids. It’s something inside you.
Thank you! I empathise with these posts but at the same time I’m like.. you are subscribing to the same outdated and plain false mentality according to which women are nothing if they don’t push out a baby or are married. It’s 2025! Research consistently shows single women are the happiest demographic, there must be a reason a or two?
Its interesting people think happiness will happen at one point when you can just be happy as often as possible
You create your own happiness. You show up for yourself before you show up for others. And own your life. Don’t like something, you can make a change, whatever that looks like.
lol at you typing this post from your ivory tower with your “amazing boyfriend” 😂
Just because you feel that way, it doesn’t mean it’s true for everyone.
It’s normal for people to feel lonely and need companionship. Stop trying to tell people to feel like loneliness is for everyone.
I agree! Preach! A man doesn’t make you happy. You have to find happiness alone first then, if you desire, can find a good man that matches your high vibe. Never settle!
I am so sick of the patriarchal men AND women who think it’s ok to be desperate to settle and get married. They further feign and say they are still happy while they fight everyday in front of their kids and get beaten from time to time. 50 percent of marriages end in divorce …FIFTY 50…that’s HALF! And a hight percentage of the rest are miserable and pretending to be happy. Don’t fool yourselves people.
Marriage is a sham…it’s in the numbers. Why do idiots think it’s the pinnacle to their lives???
“I’m so sick of people doing the same thing I did” is a little annoying.
Is it helpful to lambaste people for wanting companionship? Maybe the solution to people wanting relationships is to guide them toward friendship, not solitude. Romantic connection can absolutely be overrated and men don’t complete women (which also is suuuper heteronormative and though I agree it’s mostly straight women making these lamentations, it leaves out a lot of others), but human connection is what people are ultimately craving and I think we forget that romantic relationships are not the only way to connect with people. It’s something we’ve been conditioned into. But I don’t feel the ultimate solution is to say „be happy alone”. We’re social animals. Misguided ones, perhaps. But solitude will never fill the gap in the psyche of someone craving other people.
While yes, you won’t be “complete” and happiness won’t just happen by having a partner. These incessant posts berating women for wanting a partner and companionship are missing the mark too. Some people are content being single and prefer it but it’s perfectly normal and acceptable to want a romantic partner.
Most of the post I read don’t have women saying I will only be happy once I’m in a relationship. They’re saying I really want this and I am sad I don’t have it. They’re allowed to feel sad about it. There are things in all of our lives that make us feel sad that we wish we’re better. It is possible to acknowledge the feelings without making it like we are all hinging our happiness on it.
I’m soo over it too. I’m starting to think there are men in here (that are trolling) and are starting these posts because they want to see women throw themselves a pity party. Question them hard enough and it will soon come out. Smh. Be wary ladies. Don’t trust every post you see on here.
And self-fulfilled energy is very attractive!
People are allowed to want things in life. Wanting something doesn’t mean you expect that thing to solve all your problems. Being single has made it harder for me to access medical care, but people roll their eyes at me for saying I want a partner.
>It may even be a harder task now than when I was single
lol at partnered people talking a big game about how great being single is while choosing to stay partnered. If you think being single is so great, break up with your boyfriend. Oh, you don’t want to break up? Because your partner makes your life better? But I’m not allowed to want the same thing? Fascinating.
Your post honestly feels dismissive of a very real and valid desire many women have, to find meaningful companionship. It’s great that you’ve done the self-work and realised happiness isn’t solely found in a relationship, but that doesn’t mean others are wrong for still wanting one.
What’s especially frustrating is when someone who once deeply longed for a partner finally finds one, then turns around and tells others it’s not that important. It feels a bit tone-deaf and invalidating. You of all people should understand how hard that season of longing can be.
Yes, self-fulfilment matters, but it doesn’t erase the very human need for connection, love and partnership. If seeing those posts bothers you that much, maybe take a moment to reflect on why and leave the sub if it’s too much for you. Telling people to stop wanting what you once craved isn’t the support or insight you might think it is.
Preach it!
Post divorce, I don’t date and will never be in another relationship. I would die a happy camper if people stopped telling me that I “must be lonely”. Outside my children being kidnapped, I’m in 7th heaven. Love it!
These two had to FAFO.
Never dated
https://www.reddit.com/r/whenwomenrefuse/comments/1ipe78w/moving_too_fast_is_a_red_flag_control_anger/
2nd date
https://www.reddit.com/r/whenwomenrefuse/comments/1ipe4di/drive_separately_and_dont_park_on_their_driveway/
You’d like the movie “The Pursuit of Happyness.”
I’m so sick of people in happy relationships telling single people they shouldn’t be upset because they aren’t. We known having a relationship won’t delve every problem. It does solve the problem of wanting companionship, intimacy and possibly starting a family.
I was definitely lost in a big way until I found the love of my life, and now we’re finding our way together which is a beautiful thing. It’s a perfectly reasonable thing to aspire to
that’s because everyone is co-dependent
Preach. It’s just as toxic a trait as the needy men I sometimes encountered in dating who just suffocated me cause the pressure for me to fulfill all those unmet needs and traumas they refuse to be responsible enough to work on themselves. A person isn’t a stopgap solution for anyone. They’re their own universe and discovery. Not someone who’s there to play multiple roles that others failed to play responsibly in your life. Work on your issues. Men and women. Both.