Parenting is a constant learning curve where you pick your battles. You realize that a fed kid is a happy kid, regardless of whether they are using a silver spoon or their own sticky fingers. But one dad on Reddit decided to turn a peaceful family breakfast into a cultural war zone because he seemingly cannot grasp that utensils aren’t the only way to consume calories, and his ignorance is honestly painful to witness.
Our narrator has been with his fiancée, “Lola,” for five years. They have 2.5-year-old twins and a wedding on the horizon. Everything seemed fine until Dad took a week off work to spend time at home. Usually, he is out the door early, so Lola handles the morning routine. But now that he is hovering in the kitchen, he has discovered a “problem” that he claims is bad manners, but the rest of the world just calls “eating.”
The drama started over breakfast. The narrator was helping get the kids ready when Lola brought out the food. He noticed a distinct lack of silverware on the table. When he offered to grab forks, Lola told him there was “no need.” He watched, horrified, as she gave the toddlers tortillas. She ripped them into pieces, and the kids used the tortillas to scoop up their eggs and beans.
To him, this was chaos. He describes it as them using their “bare hands to grab the food.” He immediately confronted Lola, telling her she should be giving them utensils. Lola, who has likely been feeding them this way their entire lives, was shocked that he was making a federal case out of a breakfast taco.
Here is where the dad goes from “confused” to “culturally insensitive.” He told her she was teaching the kids “bad manners.” Lola rightly pointed out that people eat pizza, chips, and tacos with their hands all the time. His rebuttal? He claimed those are “fast foods” meant for the road, whereas this… well, apparently this requires a fork.
Lola tried to explain that this is how she grew up. Using a tortilla as a vessel for food is a staple in many cultures. It is efficient, it is delicious, and frankly, it is easier for a 2-year-old to master than balancing peas on a fork. She emphasized that they wash their hands, so it isn’t unsanitary.
But he wouldn’t let it go. He doubled down, calling her way of eating “gross.” He actually used the word gross to describe his fiancée’s culture to her face. He then forced forks onto the toddlers, who didn’t want them because they already had a perfectly good edible spoon in their hands.
Now Lola is annoyed, refusing his help with lunch, and venting to her sister in Spanish on the phone. And he is “starting to feel a bit annoyed” himself. Buddy, you don’t get to be annoyed. You just insulted your partner’s heritage and implied she is raising feral children because they eat like millions of other humans on this planet.
So, is he the ahole? Yes. A massive one. He walked into a routine that works, judged it based on his own narrow worldview, and insulted the mother of his children over a tortilla. It is not bad manners; it is just different manners. If he is this rigid about breakfast, that wedding in two months is going to be a long, bumpy ride.