Pregnancy is exhausting enough without your partner suddenly treating your medical delivery like a destination family reunion. We have said it a million times but it clearly bears repeating. Giving birth is a major medical event. It is not a spectator sport meant to entertain the in laws. One pregnant woman on Reddit recently had to give her husband a massive reality check when he demanded she travel to another country to deliver their child, and the internet is completely baffled by his logic.
The Original Poster is a woman from the United States who is married to a man from Mexico. They met while he was in the US on a visa. After getting married, they experienced a surprise pregnancy because her body started rejecting her birth control. They were both absolutely thrilled about the baby. Everything was going perfectly fine until she hit the four month mark and her husband pitched the worst travel itinerary in human history.
The husband casually suggested that they take a trip to Mexico when she is around thirty eight weeks pregnant. Yes, you read that correctly. He wanted his heavily pregnant wife to casually pack a bag, cross international borders, and just wait around to go into labor. His cousin is an obstetrician down there, so his grand plan was to use her hospital. That way, his entire extended family could easily be present for the birth.
The husband tried to pitch this idea using a rotating carousel of highly flawed logic. First, he claimed giving birth in Mexico would be significantly cheaper. The OP immediately shot that down because her US insurance covers all her prenatal visits and will cover the vast majority of the actual birth. The tiny out of pocket cost would likely be the exact same as paying cash in another country.
When the financial argument failed, he pivoted to citizenship. He claimed the baby should be born in Mexico so it could be a dual citizen. The OP had to patiently explain how nationality laws actually work. A baby born to a Mexican citizen parent automatically qualifies for dual citizenship regardless of what geographical soil they are physically born on.
Finally, the real reason came spilling out. The husband felt it was deeply unfair that his family could not easily get visas to attend the birth in the US while her family could just drive to the hospital. It is totally understandable to be sad about your family missing a milestone. However, asking a woman to labor in a foreign hospital just to balance the scales of fairness is absolutely unhinged.
The OP had incredibly valid medical concerns about this destination delivery plan. She already did the heavy lifting of researching local hospitals and finding an OB she actually likes and trusts. She spent time mapping out her birth plan and establishing her comfort levels regarding medical interventions. Giving up that carefully curated medical team is a massive sacrifice that no pregnant woman should be forced to make.
There is also a glaring language barrier. The OP has been taking Spanish courses to connect with his family, which is wonderfully supportive. But conversational Spanish is completely different from high stakes medical jargon. Being in the most vulnerable, painful state of your life while trying to decipher what a foreign nurse is saying about your dilating cervix sounds like an absolute nightmare.
Instead of being understanding, the husband threw a tantrum. He pulled the classic excuse of claiming it is his baby too, meaning he should get a say in how and where the baby is born. He actually called his pregnant wife selfish and inconsiderate. He completely glossed over the fact that it is entirely her body getting poked, prodded, examined, and exposed.
Furthermore, the logistics of his plan were hilariously bad. Most commercial airlines flat out ban women from flying at thirty eight weeks. Plus, you cannot just fly home with a two day old newborn. You have to wait weeks for birth certificates and passports to be processed. Fortunately, the OP sat him down, explained all these real world facts, and he finally snapped out of his delusion. The OP is definitely not the ahole, and her husband is now totally on board with a US birth. What would you do if your partner wanted you to give birth in a different country? Let us know in the comments below!
No way in HELL would you get me to travel to Mexico to give birth. No way are their facilities as up to standards as in the US and with the current political climate it would be another stressor. And she’s right, she’s the one being poked and prodded, etc. I could see this family member/doctor could be a fraud, totally unqualified….is also be worried about his family and even him refusing to take the baby back to the USA. I can’t even believe she’s considering it.