We have all made promises we could not keep when we were children. Maybe we promised to clean our room every single day forever if we got a puppy. Maybe we promised to never fight with our siblings again if we could just go to the sleepover. But usually parents understand that the prefrontal cortex of a preteen is basically made of cotton candy and optimism. One mom on Reddit apparently missed that biology lesson because she is currently trying to enforce a verbal contract she made with her tween that carries the price tag of a luxury sedan.
Our story starts four years ago. The narrator’s daughter was twelve and, like many kids, desperately wanted a pool. Her friends had them. She loved swimming. She begged. The parents could afford it. But instead of saying yes or no based on their own adult finances, they decided to teach a “lesson.”
They told their child that they would install the pool only if she agreed to pay them back for half of it once she was old enough to work. The daughter “quickly agreed.” Of course she did. She was twelve. To a twelve-year-old, fifty bucks is a fortune. She has absolutely no concept of what an in-ground pool costs or what it takes to earn that kind of money at an entry-level job.
Let us break down the math here because I am hyperventilating. An in-ground pool costs anywhere from $35,000 to over $100,000 depending on the area. Even a modest pool involves a massive financial outlay. Half of that is tens of thousands of dollars. This mother looked at a seventh grader and said, “Sure, but you owe me $25,000.” And now she is shocked that the teenager isn’t thrilled about this arrangement.
Fast forward to today. The daughter is now sixteen. She just got her first job. And like any normal teenager, she wants to save up for a prom dress. A prom dress costs a few hundred bucks. It is a milestone. It is a rite of passage. It is something a sixteen-year-old’s paycheck can actually cover.
But Mom has come to collect. She reminded her daughter of the “agreement.” When the teenager rightfully balked at the idea of handing over her entire minimum wage paycheck to pay off a construction project from four years ago, the mom went nuclear. She is threatening to take away phone and car privileges if the girl does not pay up.
This woman is acting like a loan shark who just happens to pack school lunches. She claims this is not about money but about “teaching the right morals.” The only moral she is teaching her daughter is that her mother is a predator who will trap her in impossible financial binds.
Thank goodness the husband has finally snapped out of it. He is agreeing with the daughter, saying they cannot honestly expect a child to uphold a contract of that magnitude. He is right. You cannot enforce a five-figure debt on a minor based on a pinky promise made before puberty.
So is she the ahole? Yes. You are the ahole. You are the supreme ahole. You installed a permanent property upgrade that increased the value of your home, and you expect your teenage daughter to subsidize it with her fast food wages. Let the girl buy the dress. The pool is on you.
100% YTA. I understand the value you are attempting to instill, but that does not work. A 12 year old cannot legally enter a binding contract. Expecting your now 16 year old daughter to pay you back for the price of a pool is absurd. I am curious how much your child “owes” you from this “contract” she signed when she was 12. Who drafted this contract? Was it even a legally binding document? Likely not as your daughter was TWELVE. Do not be the AH, your daughter will learn the value of money by saving for her prom dress. And, remember, she may be the one taking care of you one day. Your actions now could impact the shape of things later. Just a thought.