Family gatherings are already stressful enough without someone bringing their inflated ego to the potato salad table. We all have that one relative who takes themselves a little too seriously. But one family on Reddit just experienced the most unhinged academic power trip of all time. It is a story so utterly ridiculous that you will probably want to read it twice just to make sure your eyes are working correctly.
The Original Poster shared a story about their sister in law. Let us call her Elizabeth. Elizabeth is fifty three years old and recently accomplished something genuinely amazing. After her kids were grown, she went back to school and earned her Master’s degree followed by a PhD in literature. Earning a doctorate later in life is a massive achievement and the family was incredibly proud of her hard work.
Elizabeth recently started working part time at the local library and serving as a part time online professor at a community college. The family had not hosted a large gathering in several years, so when they finally got everyone together, there was plenty of catching up to do. The kids were growing into teenagers and everyone was excited to see each other after such a long break.
For literally thirty six years, the entire family has called this woman Beth. The nieces and nephews have always affectionately called her Aunt Beth. It is a completely normal and loving family dynamic. So when the kids and nephews ran up to give her a hug at the reunion, they naturally smiled and said “Hi Aunt Beth, you look great.”
Instead of hugging her family back, Elizabeth delivered a completely delusional lecture. She looked at the kids and scolded them for being rude. She asked if they knew it was highly inappropriate to call someone with a PhD by their first name or their familial title. She then formally commanded her teenage relatives to address her exclusively as Doctor Elizabeth Jones, utilizing her maiden name.
We absolutely have to take a moment to applaud one specific nephew. Without missing a single beat, this kid looked right at this newly minted literature professor and said, “You are our aunt, not our doctor.” That is the exact level of savage honesty that only a teenager can deliver. He was completely right. She is not curing diseases in a hospital. She is grading essays on the internet.
Elizabeth did not appreciate the reality check. She pulled the Original Poster and her brother aside for a stern talking to away from the kids. She demanded they teach their children some respect because the title of Aunt is apparently too childish for her advanced intellect. She insisted that regardless of their blood relation, someone with a doctorate must be addressed as Doctor and by their legal birth name at all times.
The Original Poster tried to be perfectly reasonable. They gently pointed out that using her professional title makes total sense in a public place or at the library where she works. But at a private family gathering, they only know her as Beth. Plus, nobody even knew she had started using her maiden name again because she never communicated that sudden change to the family.
Refusing to be addressed like a normal family member, Elizabeth threw a massive tantrum. She marched over to her husband Tim and announced it was time to leave immediately. She declared they would no longer attend family functions because the relatives could not utilize professional etiquette. Expecting professional etiquette from a teenager at a casual family reunion is just completely unhinged behavior.
The absolute saddest part of the entire ordeal happened right before they drove away. Tim came back inside to apologize to his family. He confessed that Elizabeth has been acting exactly like this ever since she started teaching. In a shocking twist, he revealed that she will not even let her own husband call her Beth anymore. If you are forcing your spouse to call you Doctor at the breakfast table, you are definitely the ahole.