This Brother Gave His Nurse Sister a Joke List of Medical Baby Names, and She Actually Chose a Fungal Infection

We have officially reached the event horizon of the unique baby name trend. We survived the era of excessive vowels, the reign of the Khaleesis, and the silent “gh” invasion. But just when you thought it couldn’t get worse than naming a child after a random noun found in a Pottery Barn catalog, a story from Reddit has arrived to prove that the bar can always go lower. A brother recently tried to prank his indecisive sister with a list of terrible medical names, and in a twist of fate that proves satire is dead, she unironically fell in love with one of them.

The Original Poster (OP) is a 20-year-old biology student with a 27-year-old sister who works as a nurse. You would think that between a biologist and a nurse, there would be enough combined medical knowledge to avoid naming a human being after a pathogen. The sister and her husband had been struggling to find a name for their unborn daughter, paralyzed by the paradox of choice even as the due date loomed closer.

Being a supportive brother, the OP decided to help out. He bought them a very generous $900 wooden crib, because he is apparently the best uncle ever. But because they share a dark sense of humor, he also gifted her a “joke” list of baby names. Since they are both in the medical field, the list was comprised of medications, infections, and gross biological terms that happen to sound flowery and feminine if you don’t know what they mean. He threw in obvious red flags like “Viagra” and “Hernia” just to make sure the satire was landing.

Two weeks later, the sister came back with news. They had found the one. They had settled on a name from the list. They decided to name their beautiful, innocent human child “Malassezia.”

For those of you who didn’t major in biology, Malassezia is a genus of fungi. It is a yeast found on the skin of animals and humans that can cause dandruff, eczema, and other itchy, flaky nightmares. The OP was horrified. He pointed out the obvious issues. First, the name literally has the word “a$$” smack in the middle of it. Second, the prefix “Mal” means bad or evil. Third, and most importantly, it is a fungus.

But the sister doubled down. She admitted she knew exactly what it meant—remember, she is a nurse—but she just “really liked the way it sounded.” She claimed it was obscure enough that nobody would notice. This is a level of delusion that is truly terrifying. She is banking on the hope that nobody in her daughter’s life will ever take a biology class, visit a dermatologist, or know how to use Google.

The OP suspects the husband has absolutely no idea what the name means, which adds a layer of deception to this tragedy. Can you imagine the betrayal of finding out your wife named your daughter after a yeast infection because it had a nice ring to it? The OP tried to offer alternatives like Mallory or Anastasia, but the sister shut him down, accusing him of overstepping and claiming he has “no business” telling her what to name her child.

Usually, the rule is that you don’t comment on baby names. If someone wants to name their kid “Breighleigh,” you smile and nod. But this is an intervention, not an opinion. Malassezia isn’t a quirky choice; it is a medical diagnosis. The OP points out that their family is genetically predisposed to this specific fungal infection. The poor girl is going to eventually get a rash that shares her first name. That is not a coincidence; that is a curse.

So is the brother the ahole? Absolutely not. NTA. This is a humanitarian crisis. Someone needs to tell the husband immediately before he signs that birth certificate. The sister might be running on pregnancy hormones, but that is no excuse for setting her child up for a lifetime of bullying and antifungal jokes. Friends don’t let friends name their kids after yeast.