We all know that one toxic family member who weaponizes the phrase “but we are family” to get away with absolute murder. Toxic sibling dynamics are a nightmare because your parents usually expect you to just absorb the abuse to keep the peace. One pregnant woman on Reddit is currently living this exact nightmare, and her older sister is treating her like an emotional punching bag.
The Original Poster is a twenty five year old woman who has spent her entire life trying to survive her twenty eight year old sister. The sister has bipolar disorder and was brutally mean to the OP throughout their childhood. While the sister got medicated and stabilized at eighteen, the family never actually taught her how to be a decent human being. They just blurred the line between mental illness and being a completely terrible sibling.
The OP actually tried to geographically escape this woman. At eighteen she moved five states away. Like a villain in a horror movie the sister followed her there and moved nearby. So the OP moved another four states away. The sister followed her again. Finally the OP moved three states away to a place her sister explicitly said she would never live because it was too “depressing.” The lengths this woman had to go to just to get some peace and quiet are genuinely terrifying.
The sister also has a massive main character complex. Anytime a family member experiences a milestone she magically develops a brand new illness or a sudden marital crisis so she can steal the spotlight. Since the sister has struggled with infertility the OP tried to be incredibly sensitive when announcing her second pregnancy. She called her sister first to give her time to process her emotions privately.
How did the sister respond to this thoughtful gesture? She blew up at the OP, called her a horrible mother, and literally wished a miscarriage upon her. There is absolutely no coming back from that. Wishing a miscarriage on your pregnant sister is pure evil. The OP’s husband rightly believes they should cut her off completely. But the OP’s parents are still pushing that toxic narrative that they have to be friends just because they share DNA.
Despite the horrific abuse the OP tried to maintain a heavily boundary driven relationship. She restricted their phone calls to once a week. If she did not hold that boundary the sister would call her four or five times a day just to talk. But things hit a boiling point when the sister texted to say she was leaving her husband.
The OP broke her own boundary to do the right thing. She called her sister, helped her gather resources, and even found her a place to stay for the night. You would think the sister would be grateful. Instead she saw this as an open invitation to completely bulldoze the OP’s boundaries and drain her energy.
The next morning the sister called before church, during church, and after church. She kept the OP on the phone for hours at a time just venting. This barrage of calls continued for nearly a week. The OP is pregnant and explicitly told her sister that the constant stress was taking a toll on her mental health and she wanted to avoid pregnancy complications.
The sister responded by screaming at her and hanging up the phone. She is now giving the OP the silent treatment. The OP is actually feeling guilty and wondering if she is the ahole for wanting to wipe her hands of the whole situation. She also casually mentioned she just finished taking in her sister in law for domestic violence issues last October and is completely exhausted.
This poor woman is carrying the emotional weight of everyone around her while trying to grow a human being. She is absolutely not the ahole. The sister’s silent treatment is not a punishment, it is a blessing in disguise. The OP needs to block her sister’s number, ignore her enabling parents, and finally enjoy the depressing city she moved to in peace. What would you do if your sibling followed you across the country just to harass you? Let us know in the comments!
✨NTA✨Op…She’s trying to get you to miscarry your baby by behaving like this towards you. Mental illness reveals truths about people and she doesn’t like you and she wants your life to be worse than her situation. Going NO CONTACT is the absolute best thing you can do. IGNORE the family members who don’t want her abuse so they’re sacrificing you and your family in their place. You have every right to say you want ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with her until she actually gets the mental help she needs! Until then go low contact with the rest of your family who are pushing for this nonsense.
Put your baby first. Block that lunatic and tell your Mother if she wants to see the baby, she better back off and mind her own business.